I need help

fleurd

Hi There, This is my first time to the site and I'm not sure what to do, I guess I just need to get this off my chest as I am about to expode... My story in brief.. Came back to the UK 5years ago after living abroad for 10years, I returned with nothing, no home no job and no money, 5 years later on I am £32,500 in debt with nothing really to show for it, I have an ok job paying £19,500 and I bought my first home with my partner last year. I feel I cant talk to my partner about my debt as I know the majority of it is my own doing, by being careless with money and wanting everything now. I have come to the point that I am struggling to pay off my minimum payments my partner pays half of my credit card debt monthly but he is unaware of exactly how much the credit card debt is.
I think I just need someone to tell this to and for someone to help me with where to go from here, I obviously dont want to and cant get more debt to help me but I am unsure of weather going to a debt company will help, is there anyone there who might be in a similar situation that may be able to give me a little hope Sorry to ramble on but I hope someone is listening

emzig123

Hiya Fleurd, not got any advice as I haven't been in your situation but noticed no one had replied so thought I'd bump you! Best thing to do would be to post an SOA (see SoutherScousers post at the top of the board) and then the more experienced people can give you some ideas on how to cut down. Good luck and well done for getting onto the boards and tellig us your story xxxx

gibboking

Hi
As said before put your SOA on and let everyone have a good pick at it. you need to include your monthly income and all of your monthly outgoings (or your share of them) list credit cards and loans and try and put APR for each as this will help the guys on here to help you.

My Husband and I are in a lot of debt and it got to an 'out of control' stage, I contacted CCCS (link at the top of this page) and they have set us up on a DMP (Debt management Plan). They basically wanted to know all of our income and outgoings (including things like hair cuts, going out etc because they have to allow you a reasonable amonut of money to 'live') They then worked out how much surplus cash we had left over to throw at our debts.
They are very helpful and if your circumstances change at all just let them know and they can review your plan.
They managed to get all interest frozen on my debts which was a big help.
And they are free as are payplan, both are recommended by many on here.

Hope this helps.
You should try and be honest with your partner though as this is a hard time to go through alone. Remember you have always got us guys.;)

lynzpower

hello fleurd

Im sure everyone has experienced the kind of depseration & sadness I can see in your post - I know I certainly have!

However, stick with us and things will get better xx

rog2

Hi Fleurd,

Try not to let it get you down - it's only money we're talking about - and there is a solution to every problem.
Try to post your SOA - Statement of Affairs - listing your income and outgoings and you will be surprised how much help you are going to get.

seaside_sid

Hi Fleurd

Well done for posting, you will get lots of support and help here in sorting out your debt problems.

Try to post your SOA it will help in trying to work out a plan to become debt free.

Once you have a plan I would recommend talking to your partner, having money worries and secrets is not always good for relationships.

Above all keep smiling things will get better.

fleurd

Thanks guy's, firstly can I say sorry for not repyling very quickly to guys but I have to do this when my boyfriend is out as he doesnt know I on here. wanted to say I had a chat with my partner last night and he has agreed to get a loan in his name to pay the cards off, thats better than doing the CCCS isn't it? As it wont affect my credit any more. I have to be really strong if this goes ahead and cut all my cards up and not take on any more debt. It really is a wondreful thing to have you all out there listening, I'm slightly concerned about the loan as not sure getting more debt is the answer but surely its better than the alternative and it wont be in my name. Any suggestions?
Seaside sid you suggested the SOA i know its a statement of affairs but where should I post it, I'm a bit dumb when it comes to this as I have no idea where to look. Feeling a little more positive today and it really does help having you guys out there not judging me but trying to support me:o

Mrs_Sparkle

Hi Fleurd,

Post your SOA here hun and we'll have a look at it for you.

It's your decision about the loan but I'm not a fan of consolidating debts onto loans. The problem is that if you pay off your CCs without dealing with your spending issues it's all too easy to start overspending again. I've been completely debt free twice and have run up debts, and I've also consolidated more times than I care to remember. It's only now that I've tweaked my spending habits that my debts are no longer increasing. Don't make the same mistake I did x

jobbingmusician

Firstly, an enormous well done! for sharing things with your OH. :T

I would also not advise getting a loan to pay off your debts. It simply spreads them so you notice them less, and doesn't address any root causes. The only exception to this is if yr OH is in the position to get 0% credit cards that you can transfer your debts to, so you no longer have to pay exorbitant interest.

I would definitely contact CCCS or PayPal to see if they can help. Reason? - I've heard from other posters on this site* that these people will sometimes negotiate with your creditors so that they actually reduce the amount of money you owe them!! Has to be worth a try!!!!!!!!!

*I'm lucky enough not to be in debt, otherwise that's what I'd do!

all_hours

Many DFWs would advise against a consolidation loan in most circumstances as you could end up paying more in interest and it's not getting to the root of the problem.

The first step is to do your SOA so you can identify where your money is going and find areas where you can cut back.

southernscouser

Hey fleurd. A guide to the SOa can be found here.

I also agree the loan probably isn't the best way forward! I wouldn't be too worried about your credir rating. Credit is the last thing you need or want right now.

Just take you're time and give the CCCS a call. You can just have a chat with them. You don't need to commit to anything.