Recently seperated...need your help

mitch161

DX2 wrote: »

:rotfl:Cute! So how will this fairytale help the OP if the ex goes via the CSA?

CSA only need to get involved normally if one parent denies care of the child financially. this guy never said he gonna cut the child out of his life. nor did he say he would refuse payment.

like i said its best he stays in contact with the mother and settles it ammicably.

when getting any bureacrate or accountant involved in a babies wellbeing is bad. and should only be used as a last resort. the father seem to be thinking about his child so its only fair to presume he is a good dad.. and not a fairytale..

all that matters is the child is brought up healthy and happy. suggesting CSA should be used as a first response will actually cause more distance between the two parents and base the childs up bringing on money and not love.

but yes if all falls foul and no support is given then yes the guy should expect 20% of his wage to go to mother..

but i believe that its better to give out of box advice. not a limited monetary figure but a answer that will also cause less stress, help the OP more and bring a better life to all involved.

we work to live.. we dont live to work. life is not about money. money is not always the answer, even if its the question

DX2

mitch161 wrote: »

CSA only need to get involved normally if one parent denies care of the child financially. this guy never said he gonna cut the child out of his life. nor did he say he would refuse payment.

Can't recall saying anything about the NRP, however he should be made aware that all it takes is for the ex to pick up the phone and 20% from his wages are gone.

Kimitatsu

All be nice please - regardless of income the OP has come on here asking for help

www.entitledto.co.uk - this will enable you to see which benefits either of you are entitled to (although I cant see you getting anything as you are not the main carer of the children)

Re the maintenance - your ex wife is entitled to 20% of your net salary for maintenance of the children. None of your debts, housing costs or any other bills will be taken into account. You can either pay via a private agreement or via the CSA, I would suggest that if you think she will go to the CSA you put the money into an account so that you dont build up any arrears which you will have to pay back at a later date.

Regardless of what you believe it may cost your wife is entitled to that amount in maintenance and legally you will be liable for that amount until the youngest child leaves full time education, which is currently 18. You can claim a reduction for the amount of nights that the children stay with you (days do not count for the purposes of the CSA) so keep a note of how often you have them. The reduction is averaged over the year and given in 1/7 of the amount per week.

Any debts you have can be taken into account during divorce proceedings but I would write to them all and offer them a token amount whilst you seek proper financial help (see my signature for places which give free debt advice)

Why is your wife in a rented property? She legally has the right to reside in the marital home until the youngest leaves full time education. I only point this out so that you are forewarned! If she does not want to live in the property that is fine, but the equity split will reflect the fact that you earn more than she does and she has caring responsibilities.

HTH but please feel free to ask any questions

mitch161

DX2 wrote: »

Can't recall saying anything about the NRP, however he should be made aware that all it takes is for the ex to pick up the phone and 20% from his wages are gone.

too true but this should be where i said the dad stays in contact with the mum to keep things sweet for the kids sake. if the mother wants to go down that route then the dad will have to bite his lip and hand over them money but i have seen so many times just getting csa involved spirals down hill against the dad's where less and less custody is awarded if a CSA problem stopped the payment to the mother.

getting middle men involved who can delay things and mess things up can cause more issues them help. yes if there is no othe route to get support i am all for the mother going to CSA to get whats right.

but before that. its always best to do the simple thing and have the father bring over a few carrier bags of nappies, clothes toys and baby food each time he visits his child

AnxiousMum

OP - who do the children actually live with? You say you are shared care, but is there one parent they are with a little more than the other? This is the parent who will be eligible to claim child benefit, child tax credits etc. It is the being eligible for those payments that entitles the same parent to claim child support off of the 'non resident' parent. When you were asking about what you would be entitled to, and in specific, the childcare element, I assumed that the children live with you, and spend time at their mum's.

That would be a very big deciding factor in what you are entitled to.

Child maintenance for whichever parent, would be 20% of the non resident parent's income for two children as mentioned above. As you can see, if the mother can claim this, it's going to leave you in the red each month, so I would strongly suggest following Kimitatsu's advice and calling your creditors offering a token payment till you are organised and know what your situation is going to be.

If you ARE going to be paying the ex wife child support - do not pay in cash! Make sure that your payments are done electronically direct to her bank account, and are clearly marked 'child support December 2012 - names of kids' so that you have a clear record that you have paid the agreed amounts.