help struggling to live

princess_skint_a_lot_2

Hi there

I was wondering if any of you can help me. My husband and i are currently receiving benefits, and are struggling to make ends meet. The main reason we are struggling is because we have problems in our family i.e we have to take my daughter down to see her dad every few weeks at a whopping 120.00 in a weekend due to a court access order, and also we have our eldest daughter living with us half the week but because her mum has her 3 days a month more than us she gets child benefit, tax credits etc. My husband is disabled, he has several health conditions, and we claim incapacity benefit with an income support top up, and dla high rate mobility (we use it for what its there for and have the car) and low rate care, in addition to this we get the housing and council tax benefit although i have to pay my share. It averages out that we have 140.00 per week to live on for 4 of us. I am considering going back to work but could only do this part time, but i cant seem to find any answers as to whether we would be worse off. I asked at the job centre and they said because my OH is on incapacity benefit i can only earn 20.00 per week (i dont know why its different to income support where you can work 16 hrs a week). Can anyone help. We have never been in this situation before. My husband and i both worked from when we left school, and now we find ourselves living on a shoe string (with the help from the moneysaving old stle board). Any advice would be appreciated.

Kind Regards

Princess would like to be not so skint a lot

Jowo_2

You can double check your benefit entitlements on the Turn2us online benefit calculator, and it is also helpful when modelling proposed scenarios, such as how part time work affects benefits.

Does the court order oblige you to pay for the transport costs for the child? Have you tried negotiating the expense with her dad?

And is the mother of the eldest child amenable to paying you some of the benefits she gets (child benefit, tax credits) as you have her around 40% to her 60% (that's my guess at the split of time in percentage terms but do double check it). Have you tried negotiating expenses with her mum?

chubbs1981

Not sure about the benefits but is that £140 just for food or is that all bills as well? If so how much are the bills

missminx

Hi, can't help with much but if the court order regarding access was made before your circumstances changed then get legal advice about going back to court. Explain your reasons, ie you have no dispute over access but are unable to afford to continue the situation. Look for alternatives to put forward so the court can see you are being pro-active and they will be more helpful. Possible ideas:

Going less often but staying an extra day (or extra days in half term and school hols)
Her Dad coming to see her every other visit instead of other way around
Or even just her Dad contributing to the cost of each trip.

All the above should be considered reasonable, but are just suggestions that you may be able to adapt to help you out. Hope things get easier for you.

KxMx

Is it a journey that can be done by train/coach? Advance booking can save alot of money.

Also it seems unfair that you have to do all the travelling when ex is the one seeing daughter. Would it be possible to re negotiate and say meet half way, or you drop off and he brings back? Would cut the costs down your end.

Also I assume as you have mentioned a court order that you get some form of maintenence? Perhaps you could ask for an increase in light of your travel costs to provide his access, or as above work out a fairer plan.

princess_skint_a_lot_2

hi there

thanks for your suggestions. As it stands i have seen my solicitor but im going to have a fight on my hands as my ex is angry about me living so far away with my daughter. As for my eldests mum there is no way she would pay us any benefits, even if she wanted to (which she doesnt) as she is in a dire mess financially. I just dont know what to do. 140.00 is for all bills after housing and council tax benefit are paid but i stil have to pay a top up on that as i am not disabled. After the bills we have to buy food and put petrol in the car. I have looked at train prices, but my ex refuses to give me dates when i am having her (another subject goin through solicitors at the moment) so i cant book in advance. My tax credits are put by to put the petrol in the car for the weeks my daughter goes to her dads so i cant even count that in and what bit is left over i put to one side for clothes for the pair of them (as my husbans ex doesnt buy school uniform etc, id love to give a reason and be charitable about it, but the honest truth is she prefers to spend the money on other things and buys her clothes on xmas and birthdays only, if she grows in between then too bad). Im just so down about this. I have to admit, working full time for 16 years i used to have my own gripe about people on benefits, and this is my lesson learned! I try hard to make ends meet. I dont have a new tv (freecycle) new furniture (all freecycle charity and ebay) or nice clothes (again all our stuff is charity and ebay). Surely ther must be more to life than this. There was a story about a single mum on the dole in the paper the other week who was having a boob job done privately. How???? Where does she get her money? Am i missing something? Sorry for the rant. Any advice greatly appreciated.

Kind Regards

Princess bloody well fed up

DaisyFlower

£140 after rent/ctc is not that low an amount. You can work part time or maybe nights to top up your income if you need extra. If your husband is able to care for the children you wont be limited on hours restricted by childcare.

If you have to pay the travelling costs re access then presumably you moved away and not your ex therefore its only fair that you pick up the expense of travelling with it being your choice. Its a little unfair to moan about the costs if you chose to live so far away.

Oldernotwiser

Where are you travelling to that it costs you £120 on petrol?

Jowo_2

If you can't increase your income, then you must decrease your expenses. Download the budget planner on the free tools section of the MSE website and then go through the site to identify where you can cut down further, though it sounds like you are already ultra frugal.

For example, a member of MSE has produced a website with cheap recipes to feed a family of 4 for £100 per month.

http://www.cheap-family-recipes.org.uk/

princess_skint_a_lot_2

hi there

we have a 600 mile round trip to do in a weekend, and moving away was neccessity if i wanted to be with my husband, he has to be here for his daughter as her mother has severe issues, it was a case of who had the most need out of our 2 children and safety was the priority. I dont moan about doing the trip, it just costs such a lot and there is no way at this time to bring it down without impairing my daughters time with her dad, which in my view is essential. I have no issue about working and have seen a job i want to apply for, but with me being told i can only earn 20.00 per week before it affects my benefit i was wondering where in my benefits it would affect us. Does anyone know if it will affect the housing benefit and council tax benefit?

Tiddlywinks

princess_skint_a_lot wrote: »

.....have seen a job i want to apply for, but with me being told i can only earn 20.00 per week before it affects my benefit i was wondering where in my benefits it would affect us.

Isn't £20 a week better than nothing though?