Gift list....

mrs_B_5

We've decided that as we've lived together so long and the only things we'd really like are rather large/expensive (such as a new TV!), we'd prefer cash as opposed to presents.

We've had some cards done to go on the invites (good old vistaprint!) with a nice poem on and details of a gift list with smaller gifts for those who'd rather buy a gift than give cash for notonthehighstreet.com and we were just wondering, should we put them in both day and evening or just the day invites?

clearing_out_my_pockets

Personally I wouldn't put them in the evening ones, but that's just me. You'll know your guests better than we will - I know my family / evening guests would be offended.

LEJC

Although you will probably find many of your evening guests asking about presents/giftlists If it were me I would only include the lists with day guests invites....that way there is no expectation on an evening guest to buy a present in line with day guests who may want to.

Magicboo

Ditto COMP and LEJC, day guests only, even then some people don't put gift details on the day invites in case it offends!

emsbet

I went to an evening reception recently where they didn't incude any details on what they wanted as gifts and I got quite stressed out trying to find something that I thought they would like. I would have found it a lot more useful to have known what they would have liked rather than spending my money on something that they may not like.

Because of this we have had a few lines printed on all the invites that says "The most important thing for us is your presence during the day to celebrate our marriage and gifts are by no means expected. If however, you do feel you would like to give something, then contributions towards our dream honeymoon would be very much appreciated". I know that this maybe controversial (especially as we have asked for money ) but after having been invited to an evening reception with no guidance on what the couple wanted I felt that it would have been better to spend my money on something they would want.

xx

katerinasol

emsbet wrote: »

I went to an evening reception recently where they didn't incude any details on what they wanted as gifts and I got quite stressed out trying to find something that I thought they would like. I would have found it a lot more useful to have known what they would have liked rather than spending my money on something that they may not like.

Because of this we have had a few lines printed on all the invites that says "The most important thing for us is your presence during the day to celebrate our marriage and gifts are by no means expected. If however, you do feel you would like to give something, then contributions towards our dream honeymoon would be very much appreciated". I know that this maybe controversial (especially as we have asked for money ) but after having been invited to an evening reception with no guidance on what the couple wanted I felt that it would have been better to spend my money on something they would want.

xx

I don't mean this in a harsh way, but could you not have asked them what they wanted? Or were they just not bothered about it? I don't think it's controversial at all, it makes a lot of sense to not ask for pointless things that you already have and rather ask for something that you actually really want! Where are you going for your dream honeymoon?

I think it is a bit silly not to put anything about gifts on invitations because most people ask anyway, but it seems to be proper etiquette. I think I would have to agree with the people who said to have a little note on the day invites but not on the evening ones. That way if the evening guests want to get you something, they can ask but they won't feel like they HAVE to.

emsbet

katerinasol wrote: »

I don't mean this in a harsh way, but could you not have asked them what they wanted? Or were they just not bothered about it? I don't think it's controversial at all, it makes a lot of sense to not ask for pointless things that you already have and rather ask for something that you actually really want! Where are you going for your dream honeymoon?

I think it is a bit silly not to put anything about gifts on invitations because most people ask anyway, but it seems to be proper etiquette. I think I would have to agree with the people who said to have a little note on the day invites but not on the evening ones. That way if the evening guests want to get you something, they can ask but they won't feel like they HAVE to.

I maybe could have asked but I left it a bit last minute and figured that they would be busy with other, more important things

Asking for money does bother some people as it isn't traditional and people like to give a present but I think times have changed so much that people don't need the household things they used to as they often live together for before being married.

I did ask quite a lot of people for their opinions before getting all the invites printed with the message on and they all said that even as evening guests they would rather know what we wanted than buy something that would just end up gathering dust.
Oh BTW we are of to New York and Boston for our honeymoon:j

xx

emsbet

Stupid thing posted twice!

xx

minerva_windsong

Both my sisters had gift lists. Neither of them put details in their invites, so guests just phoned my mum and asked what they wanted, and mum directed them to the gift lists.

Bride2be24

I did something very similar and i put them in both day and evening invites. Been told it was a very nice and polite way of doing it aswel :0)

Bride2be24

we had these with gold butterflies and our names & wedding date on them http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/80-Butterfly-Wedding-Poems-Ask-Cash-Gift-WPC37-Pink-/290448181211?pt=UK_Home_Garden_Celebrations_Occasions_ET&var=&hash=item895ee5ba13 with this poem

More than just kisses so far we’ve shared,
Our home has been made with Love and Care,
Most things we need we’ve already got,
And in our home we can’t fit a lot!
A wishing well we thought would be great,
(But only if you wish to participate),
A gift of money is placed in the well,
Then make a wish …. but shhh don’t tell!
Once we’ve replaced the old with the new,
We can look back and say it was thanks to you!
And in return for your kindness, we’re sure
That one day soon you will get what you wished for