How much do you spend on your child's Christmas?

poet123

flea72 wrote: »

and therein lies the problem. if a child of 13 has everything they want, that they have to resort to listing furniture as a gift, then does that not ring alarm bells, as a parent?

F

Or maybe they are just not "material" kids? my older kids always had a large list (which we selected from) the youngest never has had, he isnt very interested in stuff, and anyway, we have all the usual teen stuff because of the older lads.

So, we buy what we think he will use, like or needs. What else can you do?

bestpud

poet123 wrote: »

Or maybe they are just not "material" kids? my older kids always had a large list (which we selected from) the youngest never has had, he isnt very interested in stuff, and anyway, we have all the usual teen stuff because of the older lads.

So, we buy what we think he will use, like or needs. What else can you do?

My friend's son is like that - they can never get an answer from him! Never have been able to! Her dd's have lists as long as their arms but he just says 'I don't mind what you get me'.

bestpud

poet123 wrote: »

What about holidays? we have friends who booked a holiday to Disney and wrapped up the tickets for Xmas as the main "present". We found that very odd.

I don't have a problem with that one if it's a holiday they will enjoy.

DD(9) is getting far less than her older sister this year as she wants to go to Disneyland Paris in the New Year.

I want to go too (I love it there ) so can't justify it being her whole present, but it has been taken into account iyswim?

shellsuit

flea72 wrote: »

and therein lies the problem. if a child of 13 has everything they want, that they have to resort to listing furniture as a gift, then does that not ring alarm bells, as a parent?

F

No, why should it?

What is the problem with her asking for furniture?

Eton_Rifle

ticklepenny wrote: »

It really is a case of each to their own, I'm just slightly envious of those who aren't as limited (green eyed monster will go away now lol).

Don't be envious.

Firstly, some of this over-spending is satisfying a psychological need of the parents rather than the child.

Secondly, unless you are a millionaire and expect your children to follow likewise, this can actually be a huge disservice to the child as unrealistic life expectations and feelings of entitlement (with corresponding lack of attention spans and lack of appreciation) may be set in these formative years. You have to be very careful what you present as 'normal' to a child as it will have pyschological impact.

Ten years from now many parents will be wondering why their grown child is now listless, bored, depressed and heavily in debt.

bestpud

This is going to go the same way as breast vs bottle or nursery vs stay at home parents threads, isn't it? :rotfl:

What strong views we all have!

balletshoes

poet123 wrote: »

What about holidays? we have friends who booked a holiday to Disney and wrapped up the tickets for Xmas as the main "present". We found that very odd.

see I don't think thats odd to be honest, as the holiday will be mostly for the kids, at Disney, yes? I'd imagine it would be very exciting to get those tickets as a Christmas surprise .

balletshoes

bestpud wrote: »

My 18 year old had her bedroom kitted out for her 18th birthday present. She did get a flat screen TV, new bed (she wanted a queen size one and had to renew everything to fit it in her small room), carpet, desk etc. It might seem stingey to some (I had a few horrified looks from people at the time) but it's what she asked for and I was happy with that.

i don't understand how thats stingy - that must have cost loads! and its what your DD wanted, so it seems a perfect gift to me.

poet123

balletshoes wrote: »

see I don't think thats odd to be honest, as the holiday will be mostly for the kids, at Disney, yes? I'd imagine it would be very exciting to get those tickets as a Christmas surprise .

Because we would have seen it as a family holiday and not passed the cost of that off as an xmas present too. Whilst we may have put the tickets in the stockings, we would not have factored the cost into the xmas spend as it wasnt solely for the kids but all of us.

I am not saying it is wrong, just not something we would have done.:D

shellsuit

Last year my daughter asked for her room to be decorated and new bedding and curtains for her birthday.

It didn't need decorating.
She didn't need curtains.
She didn't need bedding.

That's what we did for her birthday because it's what she wanted.

The way some people are talking, we are bad/mean/tight because she should just have stuff like that bought and done for her anyway. Or there is something wrong if a 12 year old child wants her room decorating for her birthday.