just a rant ignore if you wish lol

mirrorimage0

hi

as title says, just a rant really, just fount out my brother and his wife are having baby number 4,
niehter of them work and live in council property. but i must say they are great parents and i love them to bits.

thing is i have two children, hubby and i work and own our own property and we have put off having more as we feel we cant afford it,as well we did have a miscarriage two yrs ago and im scared stiff to try again.

i am really upset by this and keep crying , but i am really pleased for them as this is what they want they have always said they wanted a large family.

like i said just a rant wanted to get it out there as i didnt want to voice it to my family and upset anyone.

meritaten

Rant away.............isnt that what tinternet is for?
I should imagine that right now you are feeling mixed emotions...pleased for bro and his wife but also a bit jealous (and there is NO shame in admitting that - in your place, many people would feel the same! and unless you are aspiring to sainthood, I would be very surprised if you WERENT at least a bit jealous!
I hope you now feel a bit better in having got that off your chest - you HAD to tell someone how you felt and now you have.

mirrorimage0

lol yes, completley jealous like ive never been before........... me sainthood no way

have breathed deeply now (a few times) hubbys answer was well lets just have another baby then . bless as i know he doesnt really want to try again at the age of 44 (him not me im 31 )

sassyblue

ah mirrorimage (((HUGS))) ..... The key to coming to terms with this is to recognise that although you are scared after the previous miscarriage it is UPTO YOU whether you try again, it's not a decision that has been taken away from you at all......

And you can always afford it if you are very good with money, methinks you're on the right boards for that!

Good luck and god bless your angel baby xxxx

meritaten

perhaps the extreme emotion you seem to be feeling is your minds way of telling you to get over the fear and try again? not sure I have put that properly - hope you understand what I mean?
If you REALLY didnt want to try for another child then your bro and his wife being pregnant wouldnt really make you jealous, would it?

Whatever the reason, be kind to yourself hun, you are only human and as long as you arent spiteful and aim to destroy your bros happiness, then your feelings are your own business! yes rant and rave in private, but to your bro - be all smiles! YOU can do it, I know you can!

mirrorimage0

thankyou sassy and merit, yes i understand what you mean, think i was just a bot shocked at the time, i kinda knew they would try again but thier youngest isnt even a yr old so didnt quite expect it yet lol i am over rthe moon for them, they have been through a lot too with miscarriages and a stillborn at full term, i love them to bits and am always there for them and the children. it was just a bit out of the blue i was only dropping off cake stands lol time to start planning the baby shower me thinks. x

thanks again for your comments and understanding

Introuble28

I know how this feels.
I would love a baby but my DH and I both work full time and we cant afford to manage on one wage. It can get you down, so big hugs!!
:A

tiamai_d

I think you are allowed to feel a bit jealous and upset. Probably it has stirred up a lot of different feelings you, which is only to be expected.

Good that you rant here and hopefully you will feel better in a few days (or weeks).

Can I also offer a hug? I have hot chocolate and cough sweets too. Actually I also have chocolate mallows but I dunno if I can share them...

mirrorimage0

thankyou. x bit more settled today, like i said it was just a shock i think and really did stir up some feelings i thought i was ok with. had a nice chilled out day with my kids, wrapped presents and soaked int he bath with a hot choc and good book, all feeling better now, thankyou though to those who commented and sent pms, its really appreciated.x

meritaten

I hope you are feeling much better today hun. feelings settled down a bit? sometimes when you have a shock then your REAL feelings come to the surface - not the ones you have rationalised for yourself over time! now is the time to examine those feelings and decide whether to keep them rationalised or to bring them to the fore and DEAL with them. I dont mean just go ahead and have another baby, but to really bring the issues to the surface and deal with them. Not sure I am putting this correctly............you did say that you thought you were ok with certain issues but the news brought on strong feelings so maybe you werent as ok as you thought you were?
I am going to leave it there as I am not sure I am making myself clear and DONT want you to think that I am in any way criticising you.........you sound a lovely person and it comes across that you ARE pleased for your bro and his wife!

laurenjs88

Cant type too much as I have flu so feeling rather poorly, but just wanted to offer some *hugs* and glad your feeling better today! x