explaining to four year olds dog has died....

mum2twinsx2

Our dog died in her sleep at some point last night, found her in the basket this morning. Ive managed to get her in a box and waiting for my dad to come get her and bury her. She was fourteen king carles spaniel so did quite well. Ive manage to keep myself together for now.

I need to explain to my daughters who are four what as happenned, and being four they will ask million questions so need to be prepared. This is there first experience of death. Tips required please asap
thank you x

carolwat

My son is 6 and has lost two dogs in his life so far and each time I have gone with the rainbows thing. Google rainbow bridge and you will find some lovely images which I used to explain where our dogs are now at and I find this has been the way he has coped with it. Everytime he sees a rainbow he talks about our dogs.

It will be tough but kids are resilient but yes they will have lots of questions. Thinking of you. (((hugs)))

Wilma33

Are you relgious?

Just answer honestly, in a way she will understand. Exactly what you say will depend on what you believe.

Avoid saying things like "gone to sleep" as she may start worrying about sleeping herself.

Gingham_Ribbon

Sorry for your loss.

I have gone with straightforward, honest answers about death and found that helps. I would avoid saying it's like going to sleep incase it frightens them at bed time.

If you want to use an afterlife story, you can tell them that there are 2 parts that make us who we are - our body, which we don't need when we die and our thoughts and feelings and who we are, which lives on somewhere happy.

downshifted

In my experience kids accept what you tell them and bounce back from loss very quickly. They live in the moment. Just be comfortable with what you are saying.

I remember being met at the door by a four year old who said to me brightly "Guess what? Dogs dead!" She was only upset when I burst into tears!

mirrorimage0

we expalined to ours about rainbow bridge too, my youngest who is now 8 still cries for his max though, he was very close to him, max was our rottwieler and they did everything together apart from bedtime as max was not allowede upstairs.x

Bloomin_Freezing2

Poor you. My cat, who was 17 went on 'holiday' august 2009 and is still there having fun with her friends. My 5 yr old accepts that, misses her and wants her home, but we cope by posting letters to her every so often when her name is brought up. I'll tell her the truth one day. Hope its not too hard to tell your kids.

mum2twinsx2

Thank you all.
i found a rainbow bridge video, i watched it first glad i did tear jerking indeed.

So i explained the dog had gone off to play under the rainbow with all the other doggies and other pets. They were bit tearful, but seem to have taken it in, im sure there will be more tears to come.
We are going to do something to special to remember our little doggy later.

jackomdj

We lost our dear dog earlier this year. Our girls were 5 & 3. We talked about it a lot in the lead up (as we knew it was going to happen due to age & illness), how dogs age a lot quicker than us & he is similar in age to my Grandad (who died before we had the children).

On the day it happened we knew when we got up that it was going to be the day (as he had gone downhill overnight) so we got them both to give him a big hug before going to school & creche. When we went to collect my eldest from afterschool we told her that we had taken Chester to the vets to have a special injection to make him stop breathing, we said that because he was so poorly & in such a lot of pain it was not fair on him to make him keep going. We brought his collar hom & hung it over a picture we have of him (it is still there).

We still talk about Chester a lot (he was PTS in May) & the girls tell us that they miss him. We have one of the digital photo frames & they will often shout out "look at Chester". He was a big part of our lives & he will continue to be even though he is not with us anymore.

We are now talking about getting a new puppy after we move (hopefully next year) & we have said he won't replace Chester as we will still love & miss him but we will have someone extra to love.

coco1980

our dog died when son was about this age, we told him that she had been very sick and went up to become a star in the sky, this really helped him at the time

mum2twinsx2

Thanks for your messages, both the girls had a bit of meltdown after they saw her basket in garage when we went to feed the rabbits. They are quite concerned that they didnt get to give her a cuddle to say goodbye, so another hurdle.
I suspected something was up last night as she always slept by my bed since my partner moved out and last night she didnt follow me up, but i dismissed my instinct.

Feels weird not having her sat by my feet now the kids are bed.