'Mental health and Debt: are you willing to go public?' blog discussion

ButtonF1Fan

I have been described as "depression" "pnd" "anixiety disorder" and a few other terms, possibly PTS as most of my "phobias" can be clearly pin pointed on birth/pregnancy of my first, with a proper breakdown after the birth of my second son.

I am also in debt. I cant get childcare help, and cant afford college, also have such low esteem i fail miserably on job hunting and just give yes/no answers on an interview. Between me and OH i think we are talking 20k plus a mortgage

maryellen_26

Really happy you are tackling this issue and look forward to reading/hearing more about it.

jetcat

Daeheryn wrote: »

Whoever steps forward, I think you're incredibly brave and a bigger person than me - thank you and well done! :T

Similar to Daeheryn, this is something that would be impossible for me to do, but i also would like to thank those who do step forward, and Martin and his team for writing the guide. I look forward to reading it.:T

SouthCoast

The Money Advice Trust has this:

http://www.malg.org.uk/dmhdocslist.html

Kefte

It is really hard for people with depression and debt problems, I know because I live with one - my partner. The thing is he wouldn't be in this boat if it wasn't for the depression, he doesn't talk to lenders and lets the problem escalate - he genuinely cannot pick up the phone and talk to them. He also has dyslexia. We have nearly lost out house because of this [solely in his name]. I have had to write letters and get him to sign them.... I'm glad you are raising this issue.

geriann

Kefte wrote: »

It is really hard for people with depression and debt problems, I know because I live with one - my partner. The thing is he wouldn't be in this boat if it wasn't for the depression, he doesn't talk to lenders and lets the problem escalate - he genuinely cannot pick up the phone and talk to them. He also has dyslexia. We have nearly lost out house because of this [solely in his name]. I have had to write letters and get him to sign them.... I'm glad you are raising this issue.

i agree.

i have depression with psychotic features, panic attacks, social anxiety, phobias and an eating disorder.
i've also battled with self-harm and suicidal thoughts.
of course all this is made worse by constant money worries.

i'm glad this issue is being raised.

spikedouglas

My wife is diagnosed with a number of mental health issues, (depression, anxiety, panic, auditory and visual hallucinations, self-harm, suicidal tendencies, etc. ) she has a CPN and another worker, plus me as a nearly full time carer. Neither of us work full-time, I'm on JSA (have to find job that fits around caring), she's on ESA with little prospect of finding any work that she can stick at.

We have been spending this year sorting through our debt problems - not all caused by MH issues - although hers were and mine exasperated by MH issues; fortunately with help of CAB most are on their way to being sorted.

We may be willing to go more public once we know what's involved.

dizzygirl

im adding my comments again as im not sure if my previous comments on this subject were included....alas all part of my self esteem and mental health issues, where i check and question and disregard and get all confused, all part and parcel of who i am. i stated i have mental health issues, i have a diagnosed Personality Disorder, its called Borderline Personality Disorder.
not only regarding my mental health, i didnt notice how things were progressing, alongside the health symptoms, other than being less able, rather than more. money particularly became a very stressful position. for a long time ive lived on Income Support and or top up benefits. first in my first marriage. which even with a husband working meant we relied on top up benefits in order to maintain stability. we had children which meant i relied on that income to be stable as my first husband's earnings and financial commitments jeapordised our situation. the long and the short of that relationship meant it ended after 17 years and i was virtually cast aside to start over, from the homeless shelter upwards.
i obtained my own home, my ex husband would not allow me any possessions, which meant i started over, even to support my four children out of Income Support. i could not receive child benefit for any of them as he was entitled to one hour more than myself.
as i was well used to running a home on a low income i carried on in this vein, incorporating any and all big expenses that can my way in caring for my children and running a home. i no longer ran a car. with the split of the marriage i was asked to re-pay debt settlements with the bank. i was not in a position to do this and Money Advice Centre were supportive.
slowly i furnished a home and attended college for further education. my ill health never stabilised and despite attending college and getting a university position i was not able to attend, on two separate occasions. debt was very much prevalent, as trying to maintain a balance in order not to become embroiled in debt meant i kept all my outgoings to the bare minimum. this impacted on my general health and my mental health.
eventually i moved away from more negative impacting my mental health but by this time i could rarely handle money in person without huge anxiety. i had much compromising my decisions. when my long term relationship moved to join me and we married, i had to allow him to take on all my financial role.
i wrote and told you that the bank were very condescending in dealing with me and i have received no actual help mentally to sort my life and to make changes.
advice i received from my/our solicitor informed us how to deal with bankruptcy and debt. i was in no state by this time to deal with the pressure of demands. i found it hard to take on the advice but we did as was suggested, maintained a silence, did not reply to letters and when callers presented at the door forwarded them to the solicitor. in truth we were only dealing with a debt of less than £6,000. we could not deal with further demands; my husband is now my carer and if i receive help it will take a long time to deal with the complex case that my health has become
i hope this input helps with you or others understanding the complex arena that comprises mental health and debt issues

ciscokid

If you search for my thread titled "running out of time need xmas cash" you can draw your own conclusions as to whetehr I have any mental health problems or not; the doctor, bank, friends, family, employers etc. never seem to be believe me when I say this may be the cause of my problems and think everything I say is make believe....I got the same bad attitude from many other is that thread aswell....I would be willing to share my story if it meant I coud get my point across that if I could get all my debt consolidated I could make great amends to fixing the problems that have arisen in my life at times when I have had no idea/control/rationality behind what I was doing and just how destructive it was to me....

ciscokid

Kefte wrote: »

It is really hard for people with depression and debt problems, I know because I live with one - my partner. The thing is he wouldn't be in this boat if it wasn't for the depression, he doesn't talk to lenders and lets the problem escalate - he genuinely cannot pick up the phone and talk to them. He also has dyslexia. We have nearly lost out house because of this [solely in his name]. I have had to write letters and get him to sign them.... I'm glad you are raising this issue.

I can understand exactly how you feel and I can only wish my OH would have been as supportive to me as you have been. I feel may have largely undiagnosed mental health problems which would lead to some of the mess I have gotten myself into, but most people can not comprehend the challenges this presents people and can turn normal everyday tasks for some, into panic inducing murderous tasks which seem impossible and can send people into hiding and seriously affect their mental state. I can imagine that just the sheer sound of a phone ringing would send him in a state, he'd be telling you to ignore it or answer it saying he's not there, the guilt of which then comes out in anger and frustration against loved ones which isn't warranted....the guilt of which can also lead to more destructive spending and accrual of more debts as a means of a crutch and journey into make believe land, or also prove as a means of self harm....some people over eat, some people slit their wrists, some people spend all their money till theres nothing left and that can hurt worse...when you have mental health problems, sometimes you need that pain, and thrive on it, much like a jogger thrives on the endorphins it releases (why else can I see people jogging in the snow when its -3 degrees outside! those people must be even more mad!!!)