Should I even try for child support from ex who hides his income?

alanamyles

Mine is a rather complicated situation for which I would really appreciate some advice.

I separated from my (now ex) husband last November. We have a daughter together and I also have a teenage son from a previous relationship. My husband also had twin children from a previous girlfriend.

Our separation was a very bad one - kids and I had to move to a secure home for a while, we eventually returned to our home (a council house in my sole name) after my finally agreed to move out.

My ex insisted on taking almost everything from the home. He left us with the cooker, kids beds/furniture, refrigerator, washing machine and of course mine/the children's own belongings. However, he took virtually everything else - all our shared bedroom furniture (leaving me with no bed), living room furniture (no sofa or chairs left at all for me and the children), the TV, DVD, stereo and the games console which all our children had shared. He didn't need this for himself as he was moving into a fully furnished house and was very open about the fact that he was doing it to spite me, so that I'd suffer for having been the one to end the relationship.

Yes, I know I could have kicked up a stink about this, but to be honest it was preferable to just let him take it and move out. I was able to refurnish via Freecycle and family members as at the time I wasn't working and managed on benefits.

My ex does see our daughter on a weekly basis. He refused from the start to pay any kind of maintenance whatsoever. Occasionally he will buy our daughter an item of clothing, footwear, etc, and usually takes her out for a meal or outing during contact.

Unfortunately, my ex is of the type who refuse declare any earnings. While he owns and operates two shops, sells cars as a trader and other self-employed activities, he does not pay tax nor does he claim any sort of benefits. He owns a very expensive house in his home country (though refused to ever purchase property in England).

A few years ago his ex-girlfriend tried to claim CS from him for their twins. He told the CSA that he earned no money and lived on income sent from his brothers abroad, so they replied and said he didn't have to pay anything. However, he did agree to a private arrangement and pays £20 a week support for the twins in cash.

Literally a few weeks after our divorce was finalised, my ex remarried and has another child on the way. He married a lady from his home country, where she still lives in his house awaiting news of her visa application.

He lives to visit his family very frequently. In the past four months, he's been abroad three times (for 2, 2 and 6 weeks) having missed all contact sessions which should have happened in this time, and plans also to be away for Christmas.

Although I am working now (self-employed) I'm not earning a lot and am really struggling with heating bills and clothing the kids this winter. My relationship with my ex is such that I couldn't possibly bring up the subject of an informal child support arrangement, and even if I could I'm pretty certain he'd refuse and use it to spite us even further.

He does earn a lot of money, and I would be able to prove this if required as I kept various documents to prove at least some of his income. My family feel strongly that he should pay some form of support for our daughter, at least to help pay towards clothing, uniforms, school trips, etc, but I'm worried this could be a lengthy and unpleasant battle if I even attempt.

To make matters worse, my ex wants to apply for sole custody of our daughter, citing that he is better off financially and that I'm unable to provide for our daughter as well as he can. There are various court orders in place to secure the safety of both my daughter and I (really don't want to detail this on a forum), and I sincerely doubt this would happen, but am rather infuriated and frustrated by the fact he is claiming this reason while refusing to help financially.

If my ex did declare his earnings, it's likely he'd be earning in excess of £1000 a week (on a bad week, and after taxes) and would be having to pay far more than the £20 a week offered to his other children. I'd truly appreciate £10 a week (it would be a godsend to help with heating bills right now), or if he would be willing to buy things our daughter needs instead (a few jumpers and winter trousers would be very much appreciated). One thing he's said is that I could spend any child support on things not related to our daughter :rolleyes though I'd be more than happy to come to another arrangement if this assures him of how it would be spent.

So... Should I even attempt to make an application for child support? Will the CSA be in any way interested in pursuing a claim from someone whose income is not available on the tax database (but for whom I could prove a significant income)?

Any advice would be very much appreciated.

Sparkles79

If you feel unable to speak directly to your ex about child support, then perhaps the CSA is the right way to go. It might prompt him to make an informal agreement with you.

I am sure you are aware that it will be a long road to get any monies from your ex through the CSA but it's better than the zero that you are currently receiving.

gratefulforhelp_2

If you have evidence of his income, then the right thing to do would be to try to use it, for you and your family.

It would be hard going, but if you have some evidence you are a step ahead of many with self-employed NRPs.

clearingout

Yes. If he's not going to co-operate, you have no choice. Just expect nothing for a long, long time and recognise that you're going to have a fight on your hands. He'll get assessed as nil and then you'll have to apply for a variation on the grounds that his lifestyle is inconsistent with his income. So if he can't afford to pay maintenance 'cos he's got no income, how the hell can he go abroad three times a year (and the rest)?!!!

Don't worry about him applying for residency - not a cat in hell's chance. Money and children are regarded by the courts as very, very separate issues. However, a judge wont' look kindly on a dad who won't pay maintenance but wants his children fulltime - it doesn't add up. And it particularly doesn't add up when you add in the fact that he's going to be assessed as nil by the CSA but tells a court that he can afford children?! Give him some rope, he'll surely hang himself!

Have you considered reporting him to the HMRC for tax evasion? It's very easy to do on an anonymous basis. In for a penny, in for a pound, as they say!

Kimitatsu

CSA is the only way to go, but it wont be instant, and probably not this winter if I am being honest.

If the NRP is self employed is it a limited company? If it is you need to ask to have dividends included in the assessment otherwise they can pay themselves £5k a year which is all the CSA will assess them on.

You can ask for an interim assessment to be made if he will not co-operate which is £30 a week, and will be enforced if he refuses to pay (although from what you have said he has few assets to put any arrears against). If they assess him at a flat rate of £5 a week (common for SE) then you need to appeal on the basis of lifestyle inconsistent with earnings, but you will have to provide the proof.

Its not easy but it can be done, if your ex is going for sole custody though, the court papers themselves will list his earnings so you can use those for the purposes of the CSA too. After all he is either lying to the court or the CSA he cant have it both ways!

He is unlikley to get sole custody though whatever he earns.

DUTR

Kimitatsu wrote: »

CSA is the only way to go, but it wont be instant, and probably not this winter if I am being honest.

If the NRP is self employed is it a limited company? If it is you need to ask to have dividends included in the assessment otherwise they can pay themselves £5k a year which is all the CSA will assess them on.

You can ask for an interim assessment to be made if he will not co-operate which is £30 a week, and will be enforced if he refuses to pay (although from what you have said he has few assets to put any arrears against). If they assess him at a flat rate of £5 a week (common for SE) then you need to appeal on the basis of lifestyle inconsistent with earnings, but you will have to provide the proof.

Its not easy but it can be done, if your ex is going for sole custody though, the court papers themselves will list his earnings so you can use those for the purposes of the CSA too. After all he is either lying to the court or the CSA he cant have it both ways!

He is unlikley to get sole custody though whatever he earns.

My recent GF's youngest is now with the Father at almost a drop of a hat, she is not a bad person, and the father works full time and is not in a position to offer the hours of care through the week (iirc he works shifts) however he still has custody and it is she who has to trape to and fro solicitors and getting all depressed about it all

Kimitatsu

DUTR wrote: »

My recent GF's youngest is now with the Father at almost a drop of a hat, she is not a bad person, and the father works full time and is not in a position to offer the hours of care through the week (iirc he works shifts) however he still has custody and it is she who has to trape to and fro solicitors and getting all depressed about it all

My thought was based on this:

Our separation was a very bad one - kids and I had to move to a secure home for a while, we eventually returned to our home (a council house in my sole name) after my finally agreed to move out.

Not a sweeping generalisation - you should know better than that DUTR :cool: