Considering fostering

ben1980_2

I notice there have been a few threads on here about fostering so I hope it's not inappropriate for me to ask a few questions.

My wife and I are thinking about applying to be foster carers. We are in a slightly unusual situation and I'm not sure how our application would be regarded.

I used to work with hearing impaired adults (and occasionally children) in the NHS. I lloved working with patients and especially enjoyed seeing them develop over time. I left to do a degree in nursing and planned to work in the community, thinking that it would offer similar experiences but with more prospects. Two years into my degree, I came to the conclusion that although I loved certain aspects of nursing, I really didn't like working in the wards and community nursing posts were scarce as hen's teeth. It was not at all what I had hoped to do and I was really unhappy. I decided to take the credits I had gained and complete my degree at the Open University in Health Science. This is what I'm doing at the moment. I was thinking of doing post-grad study in Learning Disabilities or similar.

My wife has completed a Foundation Degree in Health and Social Care and is doing a top-up year to make it into a BSc Hons. She has never had a proper full-time job as she is disabled. She is severely sight impaired and has joint problems, although she is fiercely independant and copes very well. She also had some mental health problems when she was younger (largely due to horrendous bullying at school) although she's been fully recovered from that for years. She has lots of experience as a volunteer with a youth project and as a telephone advisor with a helpline.

My wife would love to work in a caring role but it's hard to find any role that she could apply for that could easily be adapted to her special needs.

We were discussing this problem and the idea of fostering came up. I feel that we would have lots to offer in terms of our life/work experiences. It would mean that we could work together to support each other, I would be able to help with things that she can't manage whilst allowing her to use her skills and talents in an environment that was already adapted to her needs. Also, I think we might be particularly suited to caring for kids with sensory impairments as we both have relevant experience.

And yet, I wonder what an agency would make of a disabled, blind applicant with no work history and her university drop-out husband ??!!

Does anyone have any advice for us ?

hitchins

Sorry no advice, but hats off to you and your wife. It's something I couldn't do (I'd get too emotionally attached:(). Good luck x:A

danielle1977

I haven't fostered but I have worked as a childminder with fostered children, social services put the kids with me to give foster parents a break, sometime the kids were still with their natural parents (but family was breaking down and foster care was likely) then got put in foster care, I was a consistent figure.

Most of the kids-teenagers weren't the easiest kids to work with. One expected to stay out at night, at home she had expected to stay out till midnight, in foster care they said 8pm-she was 15. SHe had huge problems adjusting. Other kids were lovely to have-but there were less like this. The harder ones can be very rewarding-all of them can. But the harder ones can be abusive-given your wifes problems could she handle being called 'a fat ugly slag' and other such things on a daily basis. Also if she can't get a fulltime job having a child is full time and then some. If your both there it might be easier. SOme of these kids don't go to school-so you don't always get a break. Its not always easy. Support from social services can be fab-or crap drpendeing on the social worker!

Contact your local childrens services they often run information sessions to give you some idea.
Goodluck

ben1980_2

It's not that she's incapable of working; she is very bright and is able to lots of things (cooking, shopping, completing a degree) because she is able to control her environment and routine to be able to manage. For example, she keeps her medication in brightly colour coded boxes so she can tell them apart as she can't see well enough to read labels. In a work environment, especially in the caring professions, you just don't have that much control over things. She would be a brilliant role model to a young person with special needs - she pretty much always figures out a way of doing what she needs to get done.

It's a worry to me that in the future, we might end up in a situation where I'm the only one working and having to do long hours or shifts and she'll be stuck at home alone with so much potential and no outlet for it. I think we'd make a good team if we were to do this together.

I suppose I was mostly looking for some reassurance that we would be taken seriously and perhaps be offered some advice on how to improve our chances - volunteer work ? Training ? Specific types of fostering that might be best ? Specific agencies ?

babyboysmommy

It's well worth looking in to. Please don't put yourself down. You are not a university drop out, you yourself said you have just changed the direction of your degree. That shows flexibility & commitment to study even when the initial course was not the right one for you. They will do a full assessment of you both, work out your strengths etc. It would be well worth contacting social services & explaining your situation. It's also worth knowing that you can foster through other agencies not just social services, you will have to under go the same checks etc. Some agencies specialise in working with harder to place children, that includes those with special needs like hearing & sight problems as well as a wide range of physical disabilities. You need to find out who works in your area, what organizations other than social services place children locally to you. A phone call to social services will answer that question & they may have a session you can attend where many of your questions can be answered & you can meet others interested in fostering. Good luck.

Penny-Pincher!!

Although the disability side shouldn't be too much of a problem, her mental health problems will trigger problems.

When assessing for foster carers, you are assessed more on actual hands on experience than qualifications anyway. You go through vigorous interviewing, CRB's, they contact your GP and ask for references etc.

PP

paulwellerfan

Get in touch with your LA
they will come out and answer all your questions.
i work with foster carers on a daily basis.
one of them is in a wheelchair- his wife does the things he is unable to do.
they have three of our kids at the moment.
there are lots of kids out there at the moment who need fostering.
its just finding the right one, two or three for you, ( dont worry they wont give you three at the begining though lol)

Penny-Pincher!!

paulwellerfan wrote: »

Get in touch with your LA
they will come out and answer all your questions.
i work with foster carers on a daily basis.
one of them is in a wheelchair- his wife does the things he is unable to do.
they have three of our kids at the moment.
there are lots of kids out there at the moment who need fostering.
its just finding the right one, two or three for you, ( dont worry they wont give you three at the begining though lol)

I thought that all private agencies and SS were obligated to inspect current or old mental health problems, contact GP's and get FULL medical histories?

shelley_crow

you would both be required to have full medicals with you gp which would be reviewed by the agency consultant doctor, this is a legal requirement under the fostering standard regulations. it's definitely worth contacting the LA or agency you want to go with, they will be able to advise you better as to whether it would rule you out.

I work in foster care (on mat leave atm). if you want to pm me, i'll be able to help you once the baby is off my lap.

AnnaLicious_2

I've just started the application process to do respite care for disabled children. Because we're offering to do overnight care, we are treated as foster carers. They don't give two sticks what your degree is, but clearly it's something you're sensitive about. You're a current student, so maybe they'll ask about your available time?
They will do a medical check, but I don't know how they'll treat your partner's background. As you say, if she's stable and there was no history of behaviour that would be harmful to a vulnerable child, they may not care.
I'm applying through the council, as from what I understand you get a lot more support. Also, I work for the council, so I feel as though I ought to do it this way.

ben1980_2

Thank you all for replying ! I didn't expect people to respond so quickly.

Just to clarify, I am well aware that we will have to have medicals. I understand that. I was asking whether a past history of severe depression which has been resolved for years is likely to cause problems and whether physical disabilities are a possible obstacle.

Also, I'm surprised at the comment that they won't "give two sticks" about our qualifications. I would have thought that two years of studying nursing (lots of challenging behaviour, dealing with frightened/distressed people, wiping up lots of bodily fluids, tons of paperwork) would be really relevant. Likewise, I had thought that my DW's degree, which is all about safeguarding, care planning, mental health/learning disabilities etc, might be viewed as fairly useful if you want to foster. As well as demonstrating that I was able to balance shift work, academic study and helping to support her physical needs, while she was able to show how she was able to advocate for the support she needed at university and undertake a fairly challenging course and voluntary work at the same time. Do you really think our qualifications are irrelevant ? If so, I'm a little disheartened.

Thanks for all your replies - they are thought-provoking and helpful.