Marriage v No Marriage

pollyanna24

I've read in the paper that more and more women are not seeing marriage as a necessity. I've always thought this, wouldn't mind getting married, just can't see us getting around to it!

Looking at a post on this site, it says that married couples have more rights than non married couples, but what exactly does this mean? In what way?

Me and bf owe a house together, both our names are on the mortgage thingie, so if anything happened, wouldn't it be the same as if we were married? We are joint tenants, not tenants in common.

We have a joint account with all our money in, so wouldn't this just be split down the middle? Or if one of died, the other half would get the money as it is in both our names?

I understand that as we have no will, stuff like my personal account for my pin money and my motorbike and his personal account, motorbike and car would go to our respective parents if one or the other, or both of us died. Is this right?

Is there anything I've missed out? Stuff like contents of our house and the cat. Would they just go to the other person or could vultures come preying?!

EDIT: I understand that it may be different if we have kids, but they are not in the equasion yet.

jillie1974

It was explained to me as if either of you were to die the next of kin gets everything if you havent left a will. This will not apply to the house as you are joint tenants but personal stuff etc can go to the next of kin. We were advised to make a will so everyone would know who was entitled to things etc this means that if you/OH wanted each other to have something they would get it, without a will each others next of kin could come in and leave you with no personal reminders etc. it sounds daft but does happen, a friend of a friend was left with nothing cos her OH died without making a will and everything went to his next of kin despite them living together for 8 years causing a lot of heartache. BUT dont get married just for that get married because you both want to..
best advice i can give is for each of you to make a will and then should aything happen to either of you there shouldnt be any probs

JennyW_2

pollyanna24 wrote:

I've read in the paper that more and more women are not seeing marriage as a necessity. I've always thought this, wouldn't mind getting married, just can't see us getting around to it!

Looking at a post on this site, it says that married couples have more rights than non married couples, but what exactly does this mean? In what way?

Me and bf owe a house together, both our names are on the mortgage thingie, so if anything happened, wouldn't it be the same as if we were married? We are joint tenants, not tenants in common.

We have a joint account with all our money in, so wouldn't this just be split down the middle? Or if one of died, the other half would get the money as it is in both our names?

I understand that as we have no will, stuff like my personal account for my pin money and my motorbike and his personal account, motorbike and car would go to our respective parents if one or the other, or both of us died. Is this right?

Is there anything I've missed out? Stuff like contents of our house and the cat. Would they just go to the other person or could vultures come preying?!

EDIT: I understand that it may be different if we have kids, but they are not in the equasion yet.

should only get married if you love your partner and want to. Not for the these other reasons. Certainly not for convenience and benefits.

I love being married

hobo28

If you take out the emotional side and society's expectations then right now, getting married gives you nothing.

If you have kids then things change significantly.

Get a will sorted and see how things go.

puffinmuffin

For both mine and OHs pensions, either of you die whilst still working those funds will automatically go to next of kin unless you specifically name your partner as the beneficiary. If this concerns you than it is worth making a will to cover savings etc.
I like that for the most part, the legal issues are being removed from marriage. I am keen to get married because i like the idea of being married, not for convenience.

escroooge

since this is a money saving site :

the cost of marriage is enormous.
the cost of the divorce even more.

Marriage is one of lifes big decisions and can lead to complications from divorce, who you marry is more important than if you marry.

Don't rush any decision. Have a long engagement period. Beware the "dating personality" and a "real personality".Time allows you to get to know the "real personality".

high profile divorces of the moment illustrate this point.

pollyanna24

Thanks for everyone's responses. I do want to be married, just don't want the expense of a big wedding!! Unfortunately, bf wants the lot, thought it was supposed to be the women!

Suppose the cheapest thing to do is make wills for the two of us, when we have kids, we'll get married the cheap way, I don't want my kiddies having a different surname to me anyways!

lisa_75

For us getting married was important because of the kids. My husband was not their legal father, that worried me. Also as his partner and not his wife I did not have the same pension rights. I was also not his next of kin, so if anything happened to either of us it would be our parents making decisions, not us.

We had a cheap wedding. If you want to get married, you do not have to spend £20,000. Whatever anyone says, it does feel different and us all having the same name makes life a lot easier.

tawnyowls

pollyanna24 wrote:

Me and bf owe a house together, both our names are on the mortgage thingie, so if anything happened, wouldn't it be the same as if we were married? We are joint tenants, not tenants in common.

No, it wouldn't - assets pass between spouses free of tax, so in a partnership, the surviving partner might find themselves having to pay inheritance tax. The threshold is so low these days that even a quite ordinary house might fall into the tax bracket.

pollyanna24 wrote:

We have a joint account with all our money in, so wouldn't this just be split down the middle? Or if one of died, the other half would get the money as it is in both our names?

Your partner's share would go to the next of kin.

pollyanna24 wrote:

I understand that as we have no will, stuff like my personal account for my pin money and my motorbike and his personal account, motorbike and car would go to our respective parents if one or the other, or both of us died. Is this right?
.

To your next of kin, whoever that is.

More info on the ins and outs can be found here. In general, it's better to be married - it makes things a lot easier. However, bear in mind that even if you are married, your partner's next of kin is entitled to a share if you haven't made a will.

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/n6w/index/family_parent/family/cohabitation_and_marriage_legal_differences.htm

black-saturn

With my previous partners I was never interested in getting married. I thought it was all just a pointless piece of paper and a gold ring and couldnt see any point in it at all especially as I'm not religious. But now I have been with my current partner for 2 years I can't wait to get married. It all seems quite urgent to get married now (and no I'm not pregnant) and I really can see the point and really want to do it. Guess I wasn't properly in love with the last 2 partners to want to. But now I can't wait to get married and show everyone how much we mean to each other even if we are worse off (which we will be).

hilstep2000

If you don't want to get married, please make a will! This is sooooo important!