Finding life really difficult without credit

haremscarem

Don't let the credit think get to you, i'm sure 90% of the time AFTER you have bought something you can think back and say... Actually, I never needed it.

Credit is great, I do miss it. I won't lie. I've thought about getting a card as I used to use them all the time and never had any real issues.

But without it I find that I buy less stuff and then a few weeks later realise that I would never of needed it anyway. Credit gives you the urge and power to impulse buy.

eco

I'm not in the same boat, but as a kid we were really poor, my dad was an alcoholic, credit wasn't an option for her back then and I was only thinking the other day how on earth did she buy us presents for Christmas, and she did some knitted jumpers, she also used to make clothes for our Cindy dolls, but we still loved Christmas. Things got better over the years but it's still somethin I remember and think some people take Christmas too far spending excessive amounts of money on tat. I'm also glad my mum couldn't get credit, even if she'd have wanted it, she didn't like managing money I used to help her with that.

Do what's best for your family it's there christmas after all, my mum never cared that much if other family didn't like it, as far as she was concerned it was tough.

andyf1980

Tupperware_Queen wrote: »

The one tradition I refuse to let go of, is the making of the gingerbread house. Every year we make it from scratch, proper gingerbread, lots of sweets and choccies and icing - then on Boxing day we start to demolish it. Total cost, even if you go wild with sweets, is £10, and when all the nieces and nephews come round (even the big ones) they want a piece. This will be happening if I have to crawl on my hands and knees in the street to collect the money for it!!!

Tup that sounds like a really lovely tradition. It's the sort of thing that kids will remember when they are big kids. Just proves that it doesn't have to be expensive to be memorable. :T

Tupperware_Queen

yeah, thats what I hope Andy. Its a real event, as it takes a whole weekend to do - you have to allow the gingerbread to dry out, then when you build it you need to leave the icing 'cement' to dry overnight, before piling the sweets on.

Anyone who wants a go, there are recipes and templates on the bbc website :j

magicgirl

((hugs)) from me too. I had a few months like this and thankfully, my own circs have impoved somewhat but i totaly get how you are feeling. no offence but i kinda agree that you shouldn't go down the road of thinking about 'wanting' credit cos the whole thing that the br taught me was not to spend what i don't have. i have three kids and possibly another on the way and its scary but we have recently got married and told EVERYONE that they are getting home made gifts this year.

kids are getting snowman soup (bought the cellophane cone bags off ebay but even old jars can be decorated up lovely.) and handmade (melt and pour) soap. the lot probably cost me about £30 for about 20 pressies. Not sure how many you need to get but i agree with the freecucle suggestion iknow not all areas will have a great range but you can check surrounding areas within reaonable travel etc. Rice bags are easy to make if you have needle and thread and if you can knit, some handwarmers etc would be at in this current climate.

i appreciate how you may be put off home made gifts after the poor reaction from family member but not everyone feels like that and you just need to hold your head high and know you have done your best.

hang in there - it WILL get better. xx

Doucam

Aw have a hug from me too xx

We are a year down the line now, got ED in June and would be getting AD in a few days, don't know where this year has gone!

Anyway getting back to your OP, we struggled a lot in the beginning as well, it was almost tooo easy in a way to be able to get the credit card out of the purse and pay for stuff and although I budgeted we were still really short the week before dh's pay day as I budgeted on excel but not from my purse if you see what I mean.

However the last few months I have got better at it, and this month will even be able to carry over a surplus to next month!!! And that's after the presents have been bought, and we have both boys birthdays to get for as well!

For me it's been the food shopping that has been the biggest change, I buy what I need when I need it, I check the reduced shelf and buy bits and shove it in the freezer, some weeks I have done so well that I only need to buy bread and milk!

For me it has been all about changing my thought processes and the way I spend, I still stick with the SOA guidelines, so £150 for clothes a month and I love it, I love going out and buying the boys say, trousers, and working out that I still have £x amount left over for more stuff.

And do you know the thing that has made the most pleased this year? I realised the other day we have had our co-op account for a year now and I have not once gone overdrawn, from someone who used to live and rely on their overdraft this is a big thing!!

It will get better, honest love xxx

Oh and to add, we do not buy for the grown-ups any more, I don't the mil was too impressed when husband told her he would not be sending her anything, so is now not sending the boys presents but a cheque, and his sister in retaliation has decided not to send our children anything, pathetic is what it is. Don't worry about other folk xx

now

FavDaughter1 wrote: »

Hi,we're at the start of sorting ourselves out,hoping to do a F&F IVA. your post touched me. have you heard of Freecycle? it's a sort of re cycling/re homing site where people can post WANTED or OFFER ad's for items like a bed. they have local groups in all area's. the idea is that the items that are "OFFERED" to go to new homes are totally free of charge, it's meant to stop landfill.

my gas fire's broken,so I've put a WANTED on there,no joy yet but i've seen washers,pans,bedding,bed's etc on there all free.

the biggest gift your children will remember is the time you spent with them, Poundland have loads of craft items very cheap,kids love making cakes,borrow books from the library-make time to cuddle and read.
I remember our boys were very little,I was off work sick( I'd had a heart operation,money was very tight) we had enough money to buy them a present,you'll laugh,we gave them both a little cheap pushchair and a teddy each,it was all we could afford. they played for hours with them,we had photos of them playing months later in the summer in the garden with them. the photo reminds me of the sadness I felt,my hubby and I had no money to give each other anything,BUT, if my boys(now 21&23) see that photo they say,"I loved that pram","did you keep that teddy mum?"
I've got a friend who knits toys for her granddaughter. you might find patterns in the charity shops,even wool! you could put a ad on the Freecycle site for toy knitting patterns,needles & wool,it's free,you've got nothing to loose!

It doesn't help you this year but you can plan for next year,start a card off,£1 a week on something like the Asda card,money for a few treats and a present for the kids.
big hug

So well posted, I love pound land, all the books and things you can get along with the sweets etc. Try not to be down hearted, Christmas is about love and happiness not about how much you have spent on the kids, last year we had just started our BR and it was the poorest but best Christmas we ever had.

Get lots of little things and wrap them up even if you have to use toilet roll (can save the wrapping and still use it in the loo) just make it fun

Big hug

Sunnylooloo

Makes me so mad when adults get peeved about not getting presents. I really think that so many people are all in the same position and isn't Christmas all about the children?

and I think the homemade gifts are lovely ideas - so personal.

I would rather a lovely thoughtful card than anything else - I also would much rather my family and friends that anything else.

Big hug to Princess and anyone else who is feeling this horrible pressure.

xx

FavDaughter1

What lovely posts! I love the gingerbread house idea, something you make together and look forward to sharing. Christmas can create such warm memories, so often those memories are about traditions like the gingerbread house rather than money.

When I was little my Mum got me a dolly and knitted her different clothes,I loved her- i'm in my 40's and I've still got my dolly, one of my treasures! Mum told me that one particular Christmas was very hard,they had no money, She went up to my Nana's house to get the little presents she had for us so it would look more on Christmas morning.I remember playing with my toys,I've no memory of the hardship my parents felt that year.

Luckily I started buying Christmas gifts for my family at Easter(much to my husbands disgust! but, boy is he glad now! ha) so, I have small things to give everyone (but less than I would have normally spent).

I've told my family that from Jan 2011 I will only be sending cards for Christmas and birthdays for everyone,nieces and nephews are all 16 +. I do feel uncomfortable about it but common sense is telling me that's what I need to do. My sister can't get her head around this at all, her idea of being skint is no money in her purse but over £10k in savings,she hasn't got a clue.

Credit is far too easy, nothing is worth the mental distress and hardship that living beyond our means creates. I would much rather be living on our new budget& not be able to afford the holidays etc bought on cards AND without the fear of not being able to leave a window open for fear a bailiff might climb in!

FavDaughter1

What lovely posts! I love the gingerbread house idea, something you make together and look forward to sharing. Christmas can create such warm memories, so often those memories are about traditions like the gingerbread house rather than money.

When I was little my Mum got me a dolly and knitted her different clothes,I loved her- i'm in my 40's and I've still got my dolly, one of my treasures! Mum told me that one particular Christmas was very hard,they had no money, She went up to my Nana's house to get the little presents she had for us so it would look more on Christmas morning.I remember playing with my toys,I've no memory of the hardship my parents felt that year.

Luckily I started buying Christmas gifts for my family at Easter(much to my husbands disgust! but, boy is he glad now! ha) so, I have small things to give everyone (but less than I would have normally spent).

I've told my family that from Jan 2011 I will only be sending cards for Christmas and birthdays for everyone,nieces and nephews are all 16 +. I do feel uncomfortable about it but common sense is telling me that's what I need to do. My sister can't get her head around this at all, her idea of being skint is no money in her purse but over £10k in savings,she hasn't got a clue.

Credit is far too easy, nothing is worth the mental distress and hardship that living beyond our means creates. I would much rather be living on our new budget,not be able to afford the holidays etc bought on cards AND without the fear of not being able to leave a window open for fear a bailiff might climb in!