Do You Struggle To Be The Good Guy?

shaz77_2

More and moe particularly at this time of the year I find myself wanting to be a better person and wanting to do the right thing, however due to laziness and bad judgement etc I find myself incapable of doing good. I've even noticed that at work I am becoming lazy and lacking in passion and drive, while my relationships with my friends and family are strained and in some cases non existent.

Does any other MSE members want to be a better person but continually fail due to your short comings?

JulieGeorgiana

Can I answer even though i am a woman???

I sometimes find the same, I think I should change and be more mature, have less of a temper, talk less, be funnier etc etc etc!

And it drives you mad... crazy even.

Then I realise that I am who I am, and I should continue to be who I am!

I am crazy, mad, cooky! I do talk too much, I have a short temper (red head over here!), but I am passionate, I love with all my heart, I believe that everyone has a goodness inside them and I will be treated like I would treat others.

People let me down, people hurt me... mainly because people are not like me... many care more about themselves which means they will walk over me. yet, when I meet someone new I am still trusting and I still believe in the good in people.

All this makes me who I am, you could call them short comings... I just call it me!

Many people don't like me, because I am too load and outgoing! And what they hate most of all....

... I am happy with who I am... and I will never change

shaz77_2

Good post Julie.

adrian_clark

JulieGeorgiana wrote: »

Can I answer even though i am a woman???

I sometimes find the same, I think I should change and be more mature, have less of a temper, talk less, be funnier etc etc etc!

And it drives you mad... crazy even.

Then I realise that I am who I am, and I should continue to be who I am!

I am crazy, mad, cooky! I do talk too much, I have a short temper (red head over here!), but I am passionate, I love with all my heart, I believe that everyone has a goodness inside them and I will be treated like I would treat others.

People let me down, people hurt me... mainly because people are not like me... many care more about themselves which means they will walk over me. yet, when I meet someone new I am still trusting and I still believe in the good in people.

All this makes me who I am, you could call them short comings... I just call it me!

Many people don't like me, because I am too load and outgoing! And what they hate most of all....

... I am happy with who I am... and I will never change

Trust me when I tell you that you will change. Your habits make your character. You will be a different person tomorrow than today and in ten, twenty years you will be a markedly different person. The path you choose will shape that character. C.S. Lewis pointed out that if you are on the wrong path it is best to stop, go back to where you started and choose the path that leads to the right destination. That may be difficult, the new path may be narrower and difficult to navigate but better that than heading of into oblivion, loneliness and a broken heart.

Better the friend who is a nettle in your side than an echo.

Angel_Jenny

I do try to be a good person and one of my New Year's Resolutions is to be a better person and to work on my character.

My problem is either I don't believe I can achieve something so don't try as hard or that I let one little set back completely derail what I am trying to do.

I am working on it though! I didn't know how many flaws I had until I started looking for them.

adrian_clark

Angel_Jenny wrote: »

I do try to be a good person and one of my New Year's Resolutions is to be a better person and to work on my character.

My problem is either I don't believe I can achieve something so don't try as hard or that I let one little set back completely derail what I am trying to do.

I am working on it though! I didn't know how many flaws I had until I started looking for them.

That's cool I hope it goes well. Our habits form our character. The world needs healthy, generous, kind and compassionate people. It says it is better to give than receive. If you don't have much to give maybe being generous with your time and talents to people in need would be a great way to pursue your purpose. Don't worry about the flaws you had. You may not like where you have been, or be sure where you are right now but you can be hopeful and excited about where you are going.

Sublime_2

Yes, perfection is admirable, but so often lacking.

Sambucus_Nigra

Nope, just fine thanks.

EeViL_WeEvil

I think there is a fine line between criticising yourself gently and moving on from flaws, and being overly critical and becoming low on confidence as a result. Small changes are best I find.

Just start with one individual person or habit you are unhappy with and concentrate on that. You'll feel like you have achieved much more than if you target 20 things you would like to do and only achieve 3/20, which seems more like failure.

I felt my life had stagnated and I was becoming lazy so I decided to do more physical exercise - it really helped keep me motivated and can led me to interact more socially with new friends. I joined a mountain biking club and through the friends I made got a discounted bike to replace my old one, got a new job :cool: and got closer with the in laws.

One positive step can take you much further than you would think!

Don't concentrate on criticising yourself, but pick one thing you believe you could be better and - use this as a building block.

adrian_clark

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Nope, just fine thanks.

However, what if there was a way you could love better? What if, in a world where there is so much tension, frustration and hurt you could love your family, husband or wife, children or friends even better than you already do? Wouldn't that be worth considering?

Sambucus_Nigra

adrian_clark wrote: »

However, what if there was a way you could love better? What if, in a world where there is so much tension, frustration and hurt you could love your family, husband or wife, children or friends even better than you already do? Wouldn't that be worth considering?

Nope - I'm flawed and happy with it.

What's the point in struggling to be 'perfect'? Nobody is perfect.