*Swimstars no more splash with cash*

ZTD

*swimstar* wrote: »

had my year of being single and having fun, now is my year to get my head down pay off debt and move out of my parents.....again!!:o hate being 29 and having to live there but no other option at the moment. Its not too bad though, its more the stigma that gets to me.

What stigma? Plenty of people live with their parents because they can't afford to get their own home. Especially in the more touristy places where "grockles" push prices up. If you get on well with your parents and can live with them without too much friction, then that's the place to be.

*swimstar* wrote: »

Got a call (x8!!) from the fraud dept at the bank who had blocked my card......there'd been suspicious activity on it......lots of little payments coming out which is how card cloning starts apparently. HAd to verify my purchases (ebay bits and bobs for christmas and second job and a couple of other bits) and they unblocked it. Was tempted to tell them i'm not too worried about cloning - if anyone thinks they can take money out of my account good luck to them as theres never anything in there anyway!!

You shouldn't be worried anyway - the bank has to refund the money. It's actually the bank that's worried about cloning, as it's the bank that has to refund the money...

*swimstar* wrote: »

nice to know that they act so quick though and they were really polite and helpful, even at the counter when i went to ask what was going on :-) first time i think i've ever complimented them!!

It's not your money they're saving, even though they spend quite a bit on advertising it as such.

*swimstar*

the stigma - I think its cos so few people i know at my age live with their parents.....saying that only 2 of them have bought on their own so they do all say they couldnt have done it single. I know I;ll get there in the end, it just seems my life is 10 years behind everyone else! However if i'd lived to my income instead of theirs (they all work in high flying jobs in london while i worked in a shop for 2 years before getting a job in local government) i wouldnt be in this situation to begin with!!

Good news - the oven is being delivered weds!! wooohooooo!!! its been nearly 2 weeks!! however this is weather dependent - i am refusing to look out of the window in case it snows again - i was snowed in all weekend again!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

Had a day off today as i had a bit of a panic that i only have a week till thailand, and less than that till Christmas and no time to get sorted!! so after a mix up with a secret santa i had to get another present and something for dad to open. So spent £2.90 on a train fare (car would have cost petrol and parking plus it was stuck in the snow!!) and then 7.99 on a pressie + earrings i made, £7 on lunch at costalotta coffee then 11.99 on dads pressie, picked up my soap and glory tote bag (2 days before it was supposed to be delivered!!) and had the most amazing bath ever with all my new stuff - not a bad day all round! so i'm now all wrapped and sorted for christmas, nearly all packed for thailand.....so the only thing left to do is party!!! (without drinking as i refuse to pay the extortionate cab fares!)

Plus put all my coppers in my sealed pot, and added 3 £2 coins to the jar :-) (which will be spent at the airport :-))

4 days left at work and hopefully all of them are NSDs (well other than christmas eve where i will buy a coke or 2!)

*swimstar*

ZTD

*swimstar* wrote: »

the stigma - I think its cos so few people i know at my age live with their parents.....saying that only 2 of them have bought on their own so they do all say they couldnt have done it single. I know I;ll get there in the end, it just seems my life is 10 years behind everyone else! However if i'd lived to my income instead of theirs (they all work in high flying jobs in london while i worked in a shop for 2 years before getting a job in local government) i wouldnt be in this situation to begin with!!

Don't assume that because they have high-flying jobs that they have money behind them. When Lehman Bros went bust, some of their employees phoned their landlord giving them notice and telling them to use the deposit as the last month's rent.

These were people who had 6 and 7 figure salaries. And they had nothing.

You're living with your parents because it is the most sensible thing to do right now. Sensible is good. Sensible is what stops you putting your face into a fan.

There is no stigma to not renting apart from in the eyes of landlords. There is no stigma to not buying except in the eyes of those selling.

As with all things that rely on manipulating emotions to get a desired outcome: Follow the money.

*swimstar* wrote: »

Good news - the oven is being delivered weds!! wooohooooo!!! its been nearly 2 weeks!! however this is weather dependent - i am refusing to look out of the window in case it snows again - i was snowed in all weekend again!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

The question is not "Will it snow?" but "Will they grit?".

iwantahome

Hi swimstar,

i hope living with your parents is becoming easier. Its taken me about 9 months for things to ease off and a routine and boundaries to be set (me setting boundaries so my life is not interfered with) but we are finally getting there. It seems for bizarrely or rather not bizarre at all, have coincided with me finally becoming debt free. Probably because i've chilled out a bit knowing I now owe nobody and money and nobody owes me any money, its very liberating to be clear of that, and it has been a struggle giving up my freedom but well worth it. Just see living with your parents as your passport to debt freedom, and your future. I'm now on the deposit journey (this journey will be brighter, so you've got great things ahead of you).

I get a bit of stick from friends and colleagues all the time for living with my parents but I know they are jealous of my position as although they all have mortgages they all have credit cards and loans that they are not overpaying on and are just servicing with minimum payments so that they can come out with me. I just keep telling myself to put up with their ribbing for a couple more years and i'll be in a position they can only dream of, and whats even better is that you will be in that position too, knowing you've taken a bit of stick short term for long term happiness and long term gains.

*swimstar*

that is soooo true!!! i know my ex has a loan for 15k plus 2 credit cards with about 6k on each.....and that was with my rent money coming in aswell....so without that he must be living off fresh air. I know its gonna be a tough journey but i dont want to go into a mortgage knowing that i have credit cards and loan debts too i want to be completely debt free.

this year has been about coming to terms with being single, I now know i am not the only one (it felt like i was the only one at the time and i had no purpose!! pathetic looking back but how i felt then) and i am also not the only one living with parents. All my friends bought with partners and all said if they split up theyd have no choice but to go back home too. At the end of the day if people judge me for it then i dont think they would be the kind of person i would want in my life. Everyone has their own lives and their own way of doing things and this is mine

I cant wait to be in your situation and be debt free and deposit saving!!! must feel amazing!!!:T:T:T one day......

Im going to the bank tomorrow to see if i can extend my overdraft by £100 for 3 months....just to stop getting £44 charges each month for going over the limit. Come January I am going to throw everything i have at all my debt. this year has been about finding out who i am again, what i want and who i want to be. Next year is about getting there :-) wow this is all philosophical for a tuesday evening!!

gave out little packs of sweets to the kids at second job tonight and they are hilarious "urgh no i dont want those ones i'll give them to my sister!!". I also got a beautifully wrapped bottle of wine, wine glass filled with chocolate and a cuddly penguin and lottery ticket (didnt win) off one of them - how lovely!! makes me think the stress of it all is worth it sometimes!

this time in 6 days i will be on the flight to bangkok!! 3 weeks of holiday, scuba, party, fun, and chilling out!!! Cannot Wait!!! and then back to a new start a new year and a new swimstar!! Keeping the sealed pot going = and am adding any 5ps and coppers in my purse in every day. I am also keeping up my £2 collection - cant decide to take it with me to the airport and spend it, or keep it!:rotfl:

iwantahome

My year has been the same (finding out who I am), only without the fantastic travelling memories. I do have my own travelling memories but they are dusty old memories now, and maybe they need a few baby memories to join them. I'll save for this though as travelling is what got me into debt in the first place all those many moons ago.

Good luck with the bank. £44 is a lot of money just to be charged every month.

I hope your really enjoy your holiday and make the most of it, as when we both have mortgages holidays will be few and far between. However my holidays and your holidays will not be put on CC like our ex's holidays will, and many of our friends holidays will.

*swimstar*

well the bank turned my overdraft request down.....guess cos then they wouldnt have got my £44 a month!! :-( however it was just to make sure i had enough for thailand and so i could go out christmas eve so its a good thing as now i cant drink so will be driving, and prob dropping people home so at least in know everyone will be getting home ok, and I will have no hangover Christmas day! shame as I wanted to drink so i could forget the horror of last years christmas eve with the ex (seriously worst night EVER) but as has been pointed out to me i have more exciting things to be looking forward to!

and speaking of the delightful ex I have a bag of stuff to collect from a mutual friends that he has kindly given me. Aaaaah bless - he thought he'd wait nearly a year to the day when i was just getting over it, then hand me some stuff to remind me of when i lived with him and the sheer shoite he put me through. What an angelic christmas thought from him. Am not sure how i feel about it, i may get upset, I may be pleased i got it back (no idea what it is but its been a year so im guessing its not that important!) i think i'll ask my friend to vet it for me before i get it so i dont get upset. he ruined my last christmas I am NOT letting him do it to me again!!:T

spending has been pretty good this week = only bought 2 rolls for lunch and thats all ive spent! :-) Plus Christmas Eve will now be cheap and I now cant go out boxing day due to a change in flight times on the 27th so all the money (£600) is now for thailand! although that is also for accommodation and my PADI so its about £400. Hopefully that should be about enough for 3 weeks for food and stuff.

and then when i am back the big payoff begins!!! i'm planning on overpaying £300 on my virgin card till thats done so itll be about £450 a month i'll be paying off......so there'll be no clothes, no sparkly things, hardly any drinking - but DEBT FREE at the end!! bit of a life change but I am looking forward to it!!!!

Right off to see if i can book a boat trip from one island to another otherwise we'll be swimming!!:p

*swimstar*

Well Im not locked in a Thai prison and survived the travels so thats a good thing!! had an amazing time :-)

However it doesnt rain but it pours :-(

got home to find my tax deadline reminder from second job, got in the car and the engine sputtered, there was a big bang and nothing.....

So between the 2 thats approx £700, plus then i've had to pay for a weeks worth of train tickets plus 3 days this week - approx £56 :-(

so thats my plan to start the new year hitting the debt payments hard scuppered at the first hurdle! :-(

however i've also done a budget for the next 2 months and should be fit and ready to go by middle of next month so only a minor setback! :-) had a proper downer about it all today, theres loads of stress at work and job 2, and it really is bad, and it all just got a bit much for me so i went on a downer, then gave myself a mental slap and came back round. At the end of the day I'm a month behind, but i will have a working car and have legitimately set myself up in job 2 which will look great on my cv, so whats a month in the grand scheme of things? The snowball calculator is set at my current salary so if i get a pay rise or promotion I should be able to pay things back earlier anyway - hopefully! :-)

onwards and upwards!! :-)

*swimstar*

well the car is now all fixed and lovely again - phew!! tis a nightmare when you live in the back end of beyond! so all good - £280 + £86 for fixing it though :-(

Got some extra hours at job 2 though so that helps :-)

been spending on lunches this week though as am so busy and stressed at both jobs that i just havent had time to prepare my own lunches - I did too much risotto last night though and had that for lunch today but got really hungry so had to get some other bits just now!! :-(

Still onwards and upwards!!

*swimstar*

hope everyone had a great weekend! I did very well moneywise - most unlike me! Stayed in Friday and knew that if i stayed in i would want to do something on saturday to make up for it which normally involves shopping.......so i popped into a shop on the way home, picked some things up, walked around with them and walked out after putting them back. So felt like i had shopped and then didnt need to saturday! then spent saturday instead relaxing, and doing the list of things I have had forever and not got round to doing so felt pretty good and organised. Then went out for a friends birthday, took out my allocated budget for the evening, and didnt get out any more money, and still had change for breakfast in the morning!! (which someone paid for in £2 coins so i swapped my money and added them to my £2 collection!) so was very impressed with myself.......until Sunday when i went to a supermarket to get 1 item and came out with £30 worth of things that i bought mainly because I was hungover! :-( However I can take one thing back which is £10 and i will use the other bits and would have needed them eventually. Plus I had "emergency" budget for any thing that came up so that will have to come out of that. So am feeling pretty ok about stuff at the moment.

Plus I worked some extra hours at job 2 last night which makes up the difference too. Had a rant at them as they expect me to do so much, none of which i am paid for, and they are now at my beck and call! should have shouted months ago! ;-)

Also there is the potential for another job (Job 3) for 2 hours on a Sunday morning which will be about £100 a month so that can go direct to a credit card too :-)

so things looking up!! just need to stop the hangover shopping (worryingly none of the purchases were food!!)

onwards and upwards...... :T