paternity testing?

Loopy_Girl

jackbauer1 wrote: »

so sorry to hear your story, but thanks for the advice, I'm quite level headed and am going into this with my eyes wide open, but ever since the little one was born I have had doubts,

So why wait 3 years to do it?

jackbauer1_2

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

So why wait 3 years to do it?

dreading the answer.

thinking my doubts would go away.

Loopy_Girl

And what happens if it news you are dreading? Are you sure sure sure you can handle it?

Re-read monicaj's post on here and, I would strongly urge you to sit and read her thread.

It's pretty long and it will take you some time but the anguish and immeasurable pain that family felt is palpable.

Read it and then decide if you want to know because despite all your protests, if you find out that child is not yours then you will feel different.

And you will be unable to keep it to yourself (again, you may think you will) and if your ex finds out she could cut all contact dead - and if that is not what you want but you are not the bio Dad then you have absolutely no leg to stand on.

You are that child's Daddy...she/he couldn't give a stuff what sperm made her. She only cares that her Daddy loves her.

Any muppet can be a Father...takes a real man to be a Daddy though;)

Please proceed with caution with what you are about to do.

Loopy_Girl

monicaj wrote: »

Having been through this ourselves 18 months ago and finding that my Husband was NOT his "sons" bioligical father was truly devastating. My "stepson" was 10 years old at the time and we have since lost all contact with him - "not our choice" and we are still reeling from the findings - goodness only knows what our "son" is going through. IF you have paternal responsibility for your child then you can LEGALLY take a swab from him for what they call a "peace of mind" test we paid £99.00 to "Who's the Daddy" , with hindsight what a bl@@dy horrible name. Once that came back as 99.9% negative we then had to approach the biological mother for consent to test our "son", herself and mY husband - £500 as my husband was named on BC, had PR and for a number of years had been deceived into believing he was a "Bio" Dad.

My advice (based on our experience) would be:

1. First and foremost PLEASE speak to someone independantly to make sure you understand the implications of genetic testing
2. be prepared to hear the worst and realise you have been deceived emotionally and financially and you can be shut out of a child's life no matter how attached you have become
3. on a more positive note - be prepared to accept that your doubts were unfounded and that you can always be a big part of your child's life (sadly this was not the case for us)
4. be prepared in either case that you will need to fight your case, HOWEVER if you provide emotional and financial support to your "child" they will grow up and realise what a truly lovely person you are (we will ALWAYS continue to live in hope).

Just my opinion, based on experience and the advice I have been given here

HTH
Monica xxxxx

Nive to hear from you Monica. I often think of you and wonder how you and your family are and if, as they say, time is a healer and you are healing as a family.

Take care x

monicaj

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Nive to hear from you Monica. I often think of you and wonder how you and your family are and if, as they say, time is a healer and you are healing as a family.

Take care x

Well Hello LG !! - good to hear from you and thanks for your concern.

Well, we are moving on - sadly 18 months on we have had to accept that DS is lo longer part of our lives "although we will always remain hopeful". My gut feeling is that his poor little mind has been poisoned beyond repair, BUT we pray and hope that when he does actually realise/understand the truth and start to raise questions, his "dad" for 10 years will have the opportunity to answer some questions. He has now started secondary school now but we have absolutely no idea how he is getting on......

Hope you and your daughter are doing fine - I too often think about you and your posts continue to keep me entertained :T Keep going LG you are a wonderful contibutor to this Forum

Have a wonderful Christmas
Monica & Family XX

gone4gold62

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

So why wait 3 years to do it?

good question one of my daughter had a baby nearly four years ago and we paid for a dna to be done as the dad was questioning as the whether he was the dad stupid really as the child is the double of him .any way came back he was the dad .....fast forward four years after constant nagging off his current gf that's the dna was wrong :rotfl: he asked for another to be done which my daughter agreed to and surprise surprise the child his .he must have more money than sense because it cost him 250 this time at a local clinic ..:T
.

tts42010

Speaking from experience DNA worldwide were fantastic with me and my ex he also had niggling doubts (which were proved wrong. :-) )

They were on the other end of the phone when I had a question, they were quick, and would recommend them.

I hope you get the answers you want!

x

Loopy_Girl

monicaj wrote: »

Hope you and your daughter are doing fine - I too often think about you and your posts continue to keep me entertained :T Keep going LG you are a wonderful contibutor to this Forum

Ah thank you:o I'm not sure everyone would agree with your last comment but hey ho!!

My little family is doing great thanks - looking forward to Santa obviously:D

Take care and much love to you all xx