paternity testing?

jackbauer1_2

I want to do a paternity test for peace of mind really, Im quite sure that my little one is mine, but i have a little niggling doubt in the back of my mind.

What i would like to know is has anyone got any recommendations of which company to use, i have tried to research the subject but i cant find any info at all, thanks in advance.


please move if in wrong place

dimbo61

You need to use the same company that the CSA use so have a look on there website

jackbauer1_2

its only for peace of mind, not to take the ex to court or anything

clearingout

as someone who's ex wanted a paternity test (and then didn't go through with it - that's another story), if you state that you are 'sure' she's yours, I would urge caution in asking for a test. The stress and distress caused when someone tells you that you've been unfaithful (when you haven't, in my case) and the fear that the 'need' to do a test will be used against you (either to rubbish you in court or at a later date, to tell the children just how awful you were that it was necessary to check paternity) well, I don't need to tell you it didn't do much for relations!

That said, there is of course no reason you should bring up and pay for a child that isn't yours. Just consider your motives carefully as it is stepping out into a minefield for the rest of your life!

flutterby_lil

My partner used nimble diagnostics, online. Was very quick and was £150....good luck

DUTR

jackbauer1 wrote: »

I want to do a paternity test for peace of mind really, Im quite sure that my little one is mine, but i have a little niggling doubt in the back of my mind.

What i would like to know is has anyone got any recommendations of which company to use, i have tried to research the subject but i cant find any info at all, thanks in advance.


please move if in wrong place

Cellmark is one that many have used.

jackbauer1_2

clearingout wrote: »

as someone who's ex wanted a paternity test (and then didn't go through with it - that's another story), if you state that you are 'sure' she's yours, I would urge caution in asking for a test. The stress and distress caused when someone tells you that you've been unfaithful (when you haven't, in my case) and the fear that the 'need' to do a test will be used against you (either to rubbish you in court or at a later date, to tell the children just how awful you were that it was necessary to check paternity) well, I don't need to tell you it didn't do much for relations!

That said, there is of course no reason you should bring up and pay for a child that isn't yours. Just consider your motives carefully as it is stepping out into a minefield for the rest of your life!

i would like to do it without my ex knowing, and im only doing it to stop the little niggling doubt in the back of my mind, i appriciate your comments, but im not one to take things lightly, i have had about 3 years of niggling doubt and want peace of mind, i also dont want anyone else to know that im doing this

i just really dont know where to look for advice, i have tried the internet and found many tests ranging from 80 quid to 400 quid, all promising 99.99% accuracy i have no idea:(

missmontana

I doubt you'd be able to do it without your ex knowing as they would need the mothers consent. when doing dna with the csa, the mother has to provide a swab aswell.

Mojisola

missmontana wrote: »

I doubt you'd be able to do it without your ex knowing as they would need the mothers consent. when doing dna with the csa, the mother has to provide a swab aswell.

I don't think this is the case if you buy a kit yourself.

Obviously if it shows a problem it would have to be repeated through the CSA approved company.

monicaj

Having been through this ourselves 18 months ago and finding that my Husband was NOT his "sons" bioligical father was truly devastating. My "stepson" was 10 years old at the time and we have since lost all contact with him - "not our choice" and we are still reeling from the findings - goodness only knows what our "son" is going through. IF you have paternal responsibility for your child then you can LEGALLY take a swab from him for what they call a "peace of mind" test we paid £99.00 to "Who's the Daddy" , with hindsight what a [EMAIL="bl@@dy"]bl@@dy[/EMAIL] horrible name. Once that came back as 99.9% negative we then had to approach the biological mother for consent to test our "son", herself and mY husband - £500 as my husband was named on BC, had PR and for a number of years had been deceived into believing he was a "Bio" Dad.

My advice (based on our experience) would be:

1. First and foremost PLEASE speak to someone independantly to make sure you understand the implications of genetic testing
2. be prepared to hear the worst and realise you have been deceived emotionally and financially and you can be shut out of a child's life no matter how attached you have become
3. on a more positive note - be prepared to accept that your doubts were unfounded and that you can always be a big part of your child's life (sadly this was not the case for us)
4. be prepared in either case that you will need to fight your case, HOWEVER if you provide emotional and financial support to your "child" they will grow up and realise what a truly lovely person you are (we will ALWAYS continue to live in hope).

Just my opinion, based on experience and the advice I have been given here

HTH
Monica xxxxx

jackbauer1_2

so sorry to hear your story, but thanks for the advice, I'm quite level headed and am going into this with my eyes wide open, but ever since the little one was born I have had doubts,