Sorting through my rubbish

3_kids_2_jobs_1_dog

Hi All

Thanks you Lucielle and Toni's Friend for your thoughts and wishes, weird to think anyone actually reads my ramblings and touching that you took time to respond.

I'm feeling stronger today, was low yesterday. He is still in the house which is awkward. I didn't for see this and certainly didn't want it but now that he has made this decision I just want him gone. He is going to look for somewhere to live.

It's not public knowledge yet but some really weird things have been happening, like old school friends reaching out and telling me I'm too good for him, without knowing the situation! All very strange and its making me feel that this is perhaps the right thing and life is pointing me in this direction for a reason.

Pay day yesterday, we've both put our share in the joint account to cover bills, I've popped some into my savings and have devised a strategy for managing my budget. I will top up my purse in cash to £100 every Friday after work, this is to cover food and everything for myself and DD, anything left at the end of the week will be put into short term savings for clothes, trips etc.

My food shop at the weekend was only £16, usually well over £60! DD and I are eating up what we already have, poached eggs on toast last night, we both really enjoyed it!

No snow here......yet, but so cold I kept the heating on all night last night.

Oh well must crack on, take care all

321 xxx

Toni'sfriend

You'll have good days and bad days. Take each one as it comes .And you will find you have some really good friends - sometimes in the most unexpected places. Take care. xxx

3_kids_2_jobs_1_dog

Hi Toni's Friend

You are so right, some old faces from the past have suddenly returned to my life and they are being so supportive right now.

Oh and a silver lining, I have lost almost a stone in 10 days! Not for the right reasons of course but hey-ho!!

321 xxx

3_kids_2_jobs_1_dog

Hi All

Well no snow here yet, but it's bloody cold! I'm sat in the office,
with the heating on in my coat and gloves!

Treated the kids to a meal in a local pub last night, they have got some special offers on at the moment, DS bought the drinks and I paid for the meals, Just over £22 for 4 of us, was lovely as well and really nice to spend time with them.

I'm coping ok again today. A dear friend gave me some flowers which lifted my spirits. I know financially I'll be ok, its the physical side I will miss, hugs and kisses etc.

I've got a night out on Saturday again, a dear friend is visiting,
can't wait to see her and I know we won't stop laughing so that will be good therapy.

Anyway must go and do some work, take care.

321 xxx

3_kids_2_jobs_1_dog

Hi All

Thought it was time I posted an update.

Husband has moved out to a flat about 25 miles away, he is contributing towards DD so all good. DD is coping well, calm and accepting, I guess she has supported friends through the same thing, she's very mature for her age and I'm extremely proud of her. We have had a couple of nice nights out with family and friends, just cheap pub meals where there are deals on, but its been lovely and we have been very well supported by everyone.

My food expenditure has more than halved, just shows how much rubbish my husband used to put in the trolley, this week I even treated myself to 6 bottles of wine (Lidls deal) and still spent less than half what I used to. I made a lovely cottage pie at the weekend and we will eat up the last of that tonight, out for a works meal tomorrow (DD is coming too) and then a couple of easy dinners from stocks will take us to the weekend.

I have booked a cheap holiday for myself and DD over the Easter break, a bit of quality time, sunshine and away from here will do us both the world of good. We have a nice hotel with a spa and it should be nice and warm there. A friend and Husband are going to help with the dog so wont have to pay for kennels. I have had to buy DD some new swimwear (she had outgrown hers) but did well in the [EMAIL="N@xt"]N@xt[/EMAIL] Sale.

I have sorted out my 25% reduction in Council Tax now that H has moved out and also made an application for Universal Credit, not sure I will actually get anything as I am on a good salary but even if its enough to cover DD's pocket money it will help.

We have had a fair bit of snow so I have been keeping the heating on, I refuse to be cold and DD has had a few snow days so she has been home all day. I will submit meter readings for gas and electricity as I want to keep on top of our account.

Personally, I am in a good place at the moment, I have kept off the stone I lost in the first 10 days (through loss of appetite) and am now going to the gym to tone everything up. I am pampering myself with my stash of beauty products. I feel at ease with everything and as long as DD is ok, I'm ok.

Take care all

321 xxx

lucielle

Sounds like you've got a plan. Enjoy the holibobs
L

Starmummy

Hi 321,
I've just dipped in to your diary and the way you are dealing with the situation is so admirable.
It is so hard but just try to think of it as a new start and a fresh opportunity.
I wish you all the best with it all.

Take care
SM

dawnybabes

You!!!8217;re doing fantastic

3_kids_2_jobs_1_dog

Hi everyone

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement, they are greatly appreciated.

DD and I had a lovely holiday, the most relaxing I've every had, which probably speaks volumes! But back to reality now. Ex is becoming more difficult, I knew he would, he is too immature to accept that this is all of his doing and to dela with the consequences. I will not be taking him back, I want to stay in the house for the time being but he is making that uncomfortable by walking in and following me around the house. If needs be I will sell up and buy somewhere that is truely mine and mine alone. He is making threats about cutting the amount of maintenance but I have been on the CSA calculator and if he gets difficult he might find he actually has to pay slightly more, not less. He is also making noises about moving into the spare room but I am sure this is just to provoke a response from me.

Finances are ok, groceries are a lot less and I am trying to repay debts as I want as much free income as possible if I am to get a mortgage etc. I have started to look at Rightmove and know I will be able to afford something suitable, ideally I'd like a house with three bedrooms but two would do.

I am in a fairly good place mentally, taking care of myself, trying to eat well and exercise (making use of the free gym at work and walking the dog) and using my many beauty products to pamper myself. I have managed to lose some more weight and with that and the holiday tan people are paying me compliments and saying how well I'm looking. Just edited my signature and realised I have lost 2 stone in the last 6 months!

DD is still doing well, bless her and her friends are being very supportive. Wider family and friends have all been great.

I am trying to be more organised with meal plans and housework but as it is just the two of us these things seem remarkably easier anyway.

321 xxx

3_kids_2_jobs_1_dog

Hi All

Hope you have had a good weekend.

I had a fairly relaxed one, babysat my new grandaughter, went for a dog walk and a cream tea, all very nice.

Did the grocery shopping yesterday, £23! We are still using up stocks to be fair and still have loads in the freezers etc.

DD needed some new jeans, very fussy about what she wanted but we managed to get some in the Factory Shop for £18 so that wasn't too bad.

I seem to be struggling with money this month but then we have been on holiday, waiting for my expenses to come through, thats about £140. My budgeting strategy has fallen to the wayside this month, its just been a case of getting by! But I'll be back on it next month!

I'm keeping a weather eye on Rightmove, I want to stay where I am if I can but it depends how difficult Ex becomes. He has asked to come back but I really don't want him back now. I think it is all going to become very difficult over the next few months.

321 xxx