Debt v Life

david_hellier

I agree you have to consider your families first. But the building society doesn't, the administrator doesn't, the tax man doesn't. When you're are walking the streets with family in tow looking for a B+B it paints a different picture.

The reality is that debt causes so much pain and most people find this intolerable. The pain is often transposed on to the OH and the kids causing stress and relationship breakdown.

I appreciate that we all have a responsibility to pay off our debts, but the banks and the government need to take more responsibility to lend with care.

This site is for those who whish to take control over those parasitic, greedy, indifferent, uncaring, insensitive banks and lending institutions which are steadily driving this economy to the brink.

Zulu_Dawn

I think this is a really interesting thread and I think on balance I agree with everyone!

I owe a huge amount of money and have reduced my spend since my lightbulb moment by £3k per month!

My life now is unquestionably better now that it was before. That said, I am very lucky in having a good income and I agree that to commit more than you can afford is the recipe for disaster. I have a manageable DMP (this is absolutely crucial), a slight obsession with being economical and not wasting money and a knowledge that what I am now going without has made no difference to the quality to my life.

Best wishes to everyone.

ZD

System

Interesting debate and a question that has provoked an immotive response. There is, as with everything in life, a balance to be struck. We all acknowledge our responsibility to the debt we owe. The majority of us in here have had our lightbulb moment and are fighting back, making sensible compromises, striking balances and in the main are finding common ground. No we shouldnt let our family go without - but what does this mean? Are the material things in life as important as giving our kids attention and spending quality time such as going for walks and talking to them - not buying them a PSP and TVs so they can lock themselves away in the their rooms for hours on end. There is by the way evidence to support that child obesity is linked to the PSP lifestlye and the inevitable 'poor diet' that parents with less disposable income in the main have to entertain because the 'not so healthy foods' are the only things we can afford. MET - I feel you have been a little harshly done to here although not malicisously of course but maybe the debate has veered off slightly the DFW track - support and advice only. But this too is not intended to offend. Its all about quality of life and remember, 'The best things in life are free'. Be nice to your siblings: they're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind: the kind that blindsides you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday. Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia; dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal--wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more than it's worth.

Lenny

Bluelad_2

Suely not a great post for a Debt Free wannabee forum. I think its a bit shortsighted saying your debts can wait. Wait for what exactly. Surely it's not in your family's best interest to be burdened with such a huge debt.

HairyHandofDartmoor

It's a very individual decision, whether to pay off debt quickly or more slowly. I am choosing to do it quickly because that suits me.

My debt feels like a great burden on my mind and every bit I pay off it lightens that burden a little. I don't feel deprived, nor does my oh, and I am pretty sure our kids don't feel deprived because they get our attention and that is more important.

In fact I think the kids are better off since we are living frugally because (among among other things), they get proper cooked meals instead of ready meals, and they have parents who are calmer and less stressed because they feel in control at last.

Being in control of your money feels like being in control of your destiny and that is a great feeling.

But I understand that my present way of life would not suit everyone and everyone has to pay off their debts in their own way.

anniestar

We have made HUGE cuts to our lifestyle. Have given up loads of things and have also spent some money to enable us to save for example we actully GOT sky installed as a money saving plan We stopped getting newspapres, DH stopped going to Rugby Leigue(sp), I stoped gointg ice skating and riding.DH also stopped getting First Down and Football briefing(both Americian football magazines) so,the Sky was cheeper (actully the cost of the rugby alone is less than Sky) Thats pretty much the point being an extreme money saver doesn't mean that you have to have a crap life, we are happy,we still DO things(went to Crosby beach last weekend) But we also know that the day when we become debt free is so much closer now than before we changed our attitude. Our life IS good honest.

Zulu_Dawn

anniestar wrote:

We have made HUGE cuts to our lifestyle. Have given up loads of things and have also spent some money to enable us to save for example we actully GOT sky installed as a money saving plan We stopped getting newspapres, DH stopped going to Rugby Leigue(sp), I stoped gointg ice skating and riding.DH also stopped getting First Down and Football briefing(both Americian football magazines) so,the Sky was cheeper (actully the cost of the rugby alone is less than Sky) Thats pretty much the point being an extreme money saver doesn't mean that you have to have a crap life, we are happy,we still DO things(went to Crosby beach last weekend) But we also know that the day when we become debt free is so much closer now than before we changed our attitude. Our life IS good honest.

Hi Anniestar

I'd love to see the figures on Crosby Beach. Can you let me know what you thought and how easy it is to find them as I am from down south and don't know that neck of the woods too well.

Thanks,

ZD

bobble_hat

The really interesting thing about this thread is that everyone is essentially saying the same thing.

We have all decided on a budget that works for our situation, for some that means throwing every spare penny at our debts, for others that means having those luxuries they would miss, which because they've budgeted for it they can afford it.

The key is we have our own budget for our own lifestyle. :cool:

An individual's emotional responses and needs are exactly that, Individual, we each of us do what works for us and by looking through all the debt diaries and discussion threads, it really is working.

Well done to each and every one of us. :T

bobble_hat

Zulu_Dawn wrote:

Hi Anniestar

I'd love to see the figures on Crosby Beach. Can you let me know what you thought and how easy it is to find them as I am from down south and don't know that neck of the woods too well.

Thanks,

ZD

Hi, The figures on the beach are amazing, well worth going to see, I think I've still got photos om my blog. See http://elainesweirdandwonderful.spaces.live.com/

There is a link there for the Anthony Gormley site. Just head to Crosby beach, there are 100 so you will see them straightaway, be warned though Crosby beach is very windy!!

lynzpower

I think it all depends on the individual and what sort of person you are.

Me, myself, I am a bit of a martyr, so "gonig without" suits me. However, sometimes I feel like actually going OUT maybe for a meal we do so with vouchers, or deals , when we do its a TREAT not something like we used to do to simply fill time. Now, we watch free dvds and get paid for them ( whereas before I paid for them to the tune of 15 a month) Ive done without clothes, but I do have a budget for them, I just choose to spend that budget on debt repayments. It was my birthday recently and I bought loads of new clothes as I hadnt since March and it was a really good fun and enjoyable day out that I WILL REMEMBER which is more than can be said for what I spent my CC balances on :rolleyes:

When we go out we really enjoy it, rather than it just being something to tell people you did over the watercooler.

The best thing you can give to your children is time, patience and understanding - all of which are free, and a healthy diet, which can easily be achieved on the smallest of budgets :beer: