Christmas Present Pressure

Mojisola

do_it_today! wrote: »

I find Christmas present buying a minefield, we have got past the guess the gift game and now simply ask each other what we would like... I have started asking as I want to tie things up asap being 6 months pregnant I dont fancy getting caught up with the masses in a crowded shopping centre.

Only problem is I wanted to stick to a budget of £20 per person but two of the presents are at least £40 each.

When you ask what people want, you have to say - "and our budget this year is a maximum of £20". If some people ask for a more expensive gift, then they will have to put up with something cheaper that you have chosen for them. You can't start to make exceptions or other people will get really upset.

my dad claims he would be happy with a pair of socks (he regularly trots out this line but I dont believe it for a minute based on previous reactions to modestly priced gifts in the past!)

brother flipped last year when he felt family didnt make an effort and he had...

It is difficult when some people equate gifts with love but that is really their problem.

molthedoll

more than presents I get told off for not sending cards at xmas.

ther had been family problems in my family, in the run up to xmas one year so i just did not bother that year and thought about it and felt that actaully its hyped up, overpriced, not nvirnonmentally friendly and the money i save on cards i can donate to charity instead.

but oh noh that just would not do :mad:

the fact that some of the family started recycling xmas cards by resending them with a new sheet on the inside of a card from the previous year also did not go down too well either:mad:

ontheroad_2

kegg wrote: »

We only buy for the children in the family with the rule that once you reach 18 you drop off the christmas present list. My parents get token presents usually a warm winter nightie for my mum or dvd box set and my dad a couple of bottles of wine.
I buy for my 2 nephews and my brother buys for my 2 boys but a limit of £20 each and my oh sends vouchers to his brothers 3 children.
We could all afford to buy for everyone but there is no point as none of us need anything and dont see the point of buying just for the sake of it.

yep, we do very similar to this in my family, always have. for christmas for the kids, my sisters and I have a rough "spend" per kid, and we are all pretty good at finding bargains to make the amount spent look like a lot more than we actually shelled out .

ontheroad_2

molthedoll wrote: »

more than presents I get told off for not sending cards at xmas.

ther had been family problems in my family, in the run up to xmas one year so i just did not bother that year and thought about it and felt that actaully its hyped up, overpriced, not nvirnonmentally friendly and the money i save on cards i can donate to charity instead.

but oh noh that just would not do :mad:

the fact that some of the family started recycling xmas cards by resending them with a new sheet on the inside of a card from the previous year also did not go down too well either:mad:

anybody who had the nerve to tell me off for not getting a christmas card wouldn't ever be getting another one :rotfl:

lynnsuming

I have already prepared my gift to family members, all the gifts were bought online

sleepystar1975

One of the cheapest, yet most appreciated presents I gave out was calanders. Not the regular countryside pictures one, but I found the "Insert your own photo" kind in a poundshop, and pretty much cleared them out. Dh got one with photos of him with various rugby players (which lead to great envious conversations with visitors) For my brother I used postcards and downloaded photos of fast performance cars, for my sister I dug out all the family memory type photos, for my sister-in-law who was getting a new bread maker, I handwrote breadmaker recipes and included the photos. For a niece I used pooh bear post cards, and for the parents and DDs godparents, I used photographs of DD from throughout the year. A good friend was given one with photos of us on various alcohol filled nights out, I even worked out how drunk we were, and ordered it so we were sober in January, and roaring drunk by December!

Some of them were also given extra present too, but these were the presents they seemed to like the most.

I'm afraid you may just have to bite the bullet and say "I cannot afford, not justify expensive gifts", your priority is that bump of yours. I had to do it with a friend yesterday. She has six kids, plus another on the way. Even if you said £10 each, with her and her partner included, that's £90! Another has four with another due soon, so another £50. I suggested we should just get eachother a nice card and maybe a tin of sweets or some home-baking, as the kids will get always get bucket loads of presents.

Good luck with it all x

Pee

If 2 of the presents are £40 and one of these is for your Dad, I would just spend the money and not make a fuss. I'd actually rather spend £40 on something I knew someone wanted than £10 on something they didn't. You are effectively wasting £40 and I think that is worth it for a happy Christmas without bad feeling.

I do like the idea of a £5 gift, like an office secret santa and maybe you could suggest this next year?

If you really can't afford £40 due to your pregnancy, then tell the people concerned you have allocated £20 - or go in with another family member to get them what they want.

FatVonD

I think £20 is more than generous.

For my in laws this year I am going to draw a picture (being of an artistic persuasion ) of a place that has happy memories for them and frame it. If they don't like it then I hope they'll be still grateful that we are very generous with their grandchildren. I do believe that once people pass a certain age if there's anything they really, really want then they buy it for themselves.

Incidentally, I found a tutorial online going through step-by-step how to convert a photograph to look like a line drawing or a watercolour in Photoshop. It didn't work very well for the photo I'm doing my drawing from (it is very low res) but might be worth 5 minutes of time if anyone is looking for a thoughtful, home-made gift that nobody can put a price on!

*Louise*

I don't feel under any pressure tbh.

We have 6 of nieces/nephews in the family, the spend per child has dropped from £20 to £15 each, I have got some good discounts, 3for2's etc so have saved money on that. I told sisters/SIL that I was doing this and asked them to cut back in return, they were fine with that.

Budget per parent was £20 but we have had a bit of good luck recently and have a little extra so will spend £30 each on them.

Our kids, have bought all their stuff already. Worked out that I have saved at least £200 just through offers and discounts:j

Everyone else will be between £5-£10 each.

A main rule we have is once you have your own children most of the family will buy for them instead. So this year instead of buying for my youngest sis and BIL, I only have to buy for their baby I will prob still get them a little something between them though;)


Buying gifts for people or overspending because you feel you 'have' to sort of sucks the fun out of Christmas imo and ruins the point of it all.

tanith

We (grownups) in our family agreed 3yrs ago that we would only now buy for the kids (under 21's) it just got too rediculous buying 'stuff' that people really didn't want and spending money some of us couldn't afford,... and I have to say its made Christmas a much less stressful time for me.... most of the kids want money/vouchers anyway so I only have to buy for OH and a 5yr old... its heaven I tell you after years of very stressful shopping trips at this time of year.... what I do now is spend a bit more on each persons birthday...