'The MSE guide to Mental Health and debt... nearly there at last' blog discussion

mirryma99

never tell anyone if you have a mental illness. never put it on mortgage applications etc. also make sure your doctor does not make your details available on his computer to others. there is a terrible stigma attached and you envy those who have a physical illness.They may get hospital care,get well cards and sympathy. we are supposed to snap out of it!Mencap - not likely what if someone recognises you. when it is some one close to you the prejudice extends to you as well. some forms of mental illness can be hereditary.Its sad and you feel there is no hope.

Knightowl

It's a very emotive subject and what is requested is asking one to tred where "Angels" may fear too.

A struggled with destroyed life barely surviving individual is being asked to perhaps obliterate what little self worth they may have.

It's a daunting big ask......to be pointed at ,stared at and yes laughed at!

What is mental health?

That is the question.

Mental health is often suffered alone without contact non medicated or simply missed .

Do you need a prescription to be suffering from Mental health?

Emotional / mental trauma comes in many forms diagnosed or not.

Mental instability has many roots divorce, bereavement, redundancy etc etc ....then again you maybe clinically ill permanently.

So what is Mental Health?

dazzer21

I've had epilepsy since I was a baby and in my teenage years started to get it all under control to the point where in my 20's it really wasn't an issue. Up to the age of 28, debt was utterly alien to me - if I couldn't afford it, I didn't get it; if it was available on credit, I'd only consider interest-free; never owned a credit card. Then I got married...

House, family to support, had to move away from where I worked as the houses were cheaper, necessitating a commute - it was all adding up. A few years after setting up, we needed to move to a larger house - I have two teenage stepdaughters who couldn't go on sharing a bedroom - they were at each other's throats...

We got re-mortgaged based on our income and managed it by a narrow, though not uncomfortable margin. Work was good and it looked as though it was going to carry on as usual...

Then a number of things happened at once - firstly, the recession. Clients started to cut back and we started to see a decrease in income, which was a complete switcharound from the year before, which was one of my best years ever; this meant that I was caught in a trap where I had to pay income tax on a good year while experiencing a bad one, leaving a hefty shortfall.

I was also diagnosed with a left temporal arachnoid cyst as I was starting to feel overwhelmed by the situation and sought medical advice. As a result, major concentration and memory loss issues plus panic attacks and serious lack of confidence ensue. I'm under hospital supervision, but all the tests in the world don't seem to be able to get to the bottom of it - I'm telling them how I'm feeling, but the evidence (apart from the physical cyst) doesn't manifest at the right times.

Due to costly mistakes made at work and my inability to stay on top of things, we are currently looking at debts of approx £18k including tax and credit card bills; My wife handles things as best she can, but I'm the main breadwinner so she can only do so much. Being self-employed, mental health is a real problem to suffer from - I had to re-apply for critical illness cover based on my newly diagnosed condition. Suffice to say, the change saw a rocket in premium - I can't afford it so no longer have it!!!

I don't see a way out of this and I'm getting increasingly anxious - I can't focus on anything and I just reel when I try to put my mind to good use. Today I'm having a bad day - feel really numb and just want to stare into space with a MASSIVE headache - came across this today and felt I had to comment in the slight chance that someone else on here may have experienced and (hopefully) got through such a thing...

In recent times I've had really morbid thoughts about all this - I've really felt like a complete waste of space, a loser and better off out of it altogether.

Terri31

Dear Dazzer... my first thought is that you may have developed or are at risk of developing a clinical depression which would require an assessment from the Community Mental Health Team. If so you may be allocated a keyworker who could support and guide you to the help and treatment most useful to you. There are practical issues here which you could get help with such as the debt difficulties. If you are suffering from depression - which your darker thoughts such as thinking you would be better off the scene does suggest - this will dull your ability to work and sort out the situation and compound the difficulties caused by your physical condition. My personal opinion is that you need to visit your GP and explain all you have outlined in your post as a first resort. At the very least you could seek, if able, advice on debt management such as the Consumer Credit Counselling Service [CCCS] - google for the link as I am not allowed to post a link due to being a relatively new poster - which I think is the best available - please correct me anyone who knows otherwise. They can get you onto a plan which makes the debt feel manageable and put you back into control. Financial problems are one of the very worst stressors and therefore a major contributory or risk factor factor to depression. You may find your mood lifts once that factor alone is dealt with, and you would have more energy to insist your physical illness - another major stressor - is diagnosed and treated. You may also find that a reduction in stress may see some improvement in those symptoms too as stress and depression exacerbate any other illness that is present - largely because it reduces your ability to cope and deal with it and also the stress hormones make everything feel even worse. So a] See your GP and b] Seek debt management advice is my initial response but you must use your own feelings as a guide and seek the opinion of those close to you. Good luck and all best wishes.

Erme

Dear Dazzer,

there's lots of help out there for folk like you and as I say 'it's not going down that's the crime but staying down'. You've taken a good first step by being brave and coming on here and posting - HUGS.

Check out the DMP thread on the debt free wannabe board for info and support on DMP's (don't pay for a DMP!!!). If I'd have known about it 18 months ago I would be almost debt free by now. There is hope....where there's life there's hope....don't lose hold of hope

DO go and see your GP about your mood and your morbid feelings. Does sound like depression though I'm no medic and it's good to get it assessed by a professional. Post on here as often as you need to...there's so many threads you're bound to find a home somewhere...remember the guy off DIY SOS the other week. MSE kept him alive in his darkest hours

And know I'm here for you and we DO care on here. You are not alone and you WILL come through this....

Every blessing

E
PS. Today why don't you challenge yourself to do something nice but free or cheap. If you go on martha stewart's site you'll find a pattern for making a shopping bag out of a t-shirt which you can even do with iron on tape. Sounds so cool have just put a post on freecycle asking for t-shirts ....yay... Otherwise you could make yourself a nice smelly bath with cheap bathsalts and a nice t-bag or go for a wee walk somewhere you've not been for a while (somwhere green!!!). Even if it doesn't completely removed the morbid feelings it might make them a little bit easier for a wee while. When I'm stressed I go out to the country for some green time...or go in the garden...every blessing...E

PPS. Sorry my suggestions were more for females than males but DO dig out that t-shirt. Only just realised. Hold on Dazzer...you're going to come through this man...*thud*

MSE_Martin

Hi Dazzer

Just to echo the thoughts above. It's worth going to talk to someone who can help the consumer credit counselling service are great for the financiall stuff - there's also http://www.capuk.org/ who will be able to help both with the debts and the emotional stress you're dealing with.

In a good way your question isn't special or out of the ordinary. You're not alone and the problems aren't unusual they've been dealt with many times before - there is help at hand and many people get through this and go on to get their lives back, sleep at night and feel content again. You can too - but it will speed the process up if you go for the help.

Wishing you all the best

Martin

dazzer21

I've looked at CAPUK, but it seems like they don't cater for the self employed. Have looked into trying to switch to 0% interest card but our (my!) poor record looks like that's going to cost us money to do (don't have it, of course...); plucking up the courage to contact the other bodies as I feel so ashamed about all this...

Terri31

dazzer21 wrote: »

plucking up the courage to contact the other bodies as I feel so ashamed about all this...

Please please don't feel shame. You haven't done anything wrong. Test this idea by asking yourself whether you would think someone else in the same position should feel ashamed of their situation. Probably not, I hope! Then apply the same compassion to yourself... and get the help you need. Please!

dazzer21

I've got no choice but to bit the bullet now. Received a letter yesterday from the Inland Revenue chasing my tax arrears - do I speak to them first or ask for help elsewhere first? I feel so numb!

Terri31

"Received a letter yesterday from the Inland Revenue chasing my tax arrears - do I speak to them first or ask for help elsewhere first?"

Ring the CCCS 0800 138 1111 8am to 8pm Mon-Friday. They are "are a registered charity with a commitment to help you, rather than make profit from your problems."