Work related Stress

ERICS_MUM

Hi CraigD,

(sorry, I've just read this through before hitting the submit button and it is long-winded and a bit pompous but I hope it gives food for thought anyway)

First of all, good luck for your grievance meeting. There's no point me saying don't worry because it's natural to do so. The key to everyone doing themselves justice in any meeting is to prepare well for it.

For example:

a. get all your facts in line about your job so that you can discuss the matter factually, not emotionally :

- your job description (don't worry about other people's j/ds)
-your key responsibilities and deadlines
-any targets you are set and assessed against
- details of what you have achieved against those targets
- copies of your assessments - are they effective/fair, and evidence that you have taken on board any improvements identified in them.

b. prepare actual examples of significant events that have caused you stress or meant that your own workload (i.e. as detailed in your job description) has suffered

c. prepare notes of other issues - keep to a few significant examples, again be factual not emotional and be able to explain how/why they make you anxious.

d. Think very carefully before you bring up problems with other "personalities" as this could make you appear unable to get on with your co-workers (we have all worked with people we didn't like or "gel" with, that's life) although of course mention any on-going vindictive behaviour toward you

e. work out clearly what you want to get from the meeting (e.g. a move to another job, a review of your job description, a review of the job descriptions and work-flow of the whole office, general "pep talk" to the whole office if you feel there is a general unpleasant atmosphere or doubt as to everyone's role etc, an acknowledgement that there are genuine issues and management's willingness to deal with them, etc etc )

f Also (and this will be important to the management running the meeting), work out what you can do to help yourself - e.g. learn to be assertive (not aggressive nor arrogant) so you can turn away other people's work without being embarrassed. Could your company arrange/pay for a course, etc etc

What I'm saying is - turn the meeting into a specific discussion of the issues and how they can be addressed, rather than a negative criticism of others (no matter how much they deserve to be criticised!). Make it clear by what you say that you are a useful member of staff, not a trouble maker. I know this meeting is for your grievance against another member of staff but you and your behaviours will also be under scrutiny (again that's natural in life).


Prepare notes as above before you go in so you can refer to them in the meeting and don't worry about taking notes during the meeting, especially of any action points that are agreed.

Make sure somebody is taking minutes and gives you the opportunity to read them/query if necessary. Make sure that a review is scheduled to check tht any action points have actually been done and are successful.

Much of this might not apply to your situation, might not be used in the meeting or might be OTT but I'm sure you can see the sort of approach I'm suggesting.

Please let us know how you get on.


Linda xx

CraigD

Well meeting confirmed for next tuesday with my representative present. Wish me luck.

CraigD

Well I've had both meetings and did myself justice thanks to the great advice I've received. So thanks a lot to everyone who has posted a reply. :beer:

Googlewhacker

CraigD wrote: »

Well I've had both meetings and did myself justice thanks to the great advice I've received. So thanks a lot to everyone who has posted a reply. :beer:

When do you hear from them?

CraigD

I haven't been given a date. The only response was along the lines of "it could take a while" to interview everyone concerned and gather the information for a report.

CraigD

I've been back at work for a week and feel like I haven't made any progress. In fact it feels like I am in a worse position for taking seven weeks off with stress. One person (not my manager but his assistant) is behaving differently towards me. I sense he is unhappy with me taking time off and thinks I am swinging the lead and there is nothing wrong with me. He was the person who suggested I go to HR and complain about my manager. He seems to have a lot of inside knowledge about what is going on. He makes comments such as it is none of his business but what exactly is my role now and have I asked for others to take over my workload because I can't cope and will I be in work tomorrow? Whenever I ask him to help me out with something (he is very experienced and has been with the company for donkeys years) he asks what can he do and why has my boss asked him to do this and even shouts what? when I ask a simple question. This makes me feel very small in front of others. He only seems interested in throwing abuse at female members of staff and makes out he is only joking.

Maybe I am being over-sensitive but I think that by complaining and raising a formal grievance about my boss I have scored an own goal. I have been given a warning for surfing the net during work hours (I own up to the schoolboy error of getting caught) and my manager has asked me to concentrate on one task in particular (ordering for one of our customers) and recording on a flipchart how many orders I am processing daily. I admit there are a maximum of 3 orders a day at present and my manager asked today how many orders I had processed and commented that I didn't have too much pressure. My boss is also bringing in a call monitoring system to find out how many calls are being taken and by whom. This is to establish whether my "perception is wrong that I am taking the majority of calls". Of course this won't prove how many calls are being transferred to me.

I have also been doing the tasks I was doing before when I haven't got any orders for that particular customer to process and people have been approaching me to do other things because they trust me to do them. I am realising that the only way I can prove to my manager I am an effective member of staff and am contributing to sales is to copy him in on emails. I am afraid of asking for help from anyone apart from one person who is very friendly and helpful. He is a can do person like myself. I feel that asking for help from my boss (or his assistant) isn't helping although my boss wants me to be more open. I feel as though I am withdrawing rather than opening up out of fear. The only way I get any work satisfaction is following up straightforward sales leads and processing orders efficiently. That way I feel some quiet dignity in my work .

CraigD

I have had a follow up meeting regarding my grievance and have agreed to bring the accusation to an end in the absence of any hard evidence of bullying. This was the purpose of the meeting and I do feel as though I have been put into a position where I was expected to say yes to the question 'Am I happy to bring this grievance procedure to a conclusion?'.

There have been other instances of bullying since I have returned to work such as a colleague posting on a social networking site that they didn't want to return to work full-time and were going to take eight weeks off with stress (clearly a dig at me). This person is a vindictive little !!!!! (vlb) who hasn't had an original thought in her life and believes the word of the Sun is the gospel so no surprises there. Another likely suspect has resorted to namecalling such as retard or coming up with a nickname Forest Gump which the vlb thinks is hilarious. Again no surprises there.

I am feeling quite hopeless at the moment after initially thinking that my time off has seen some improvement to my working environment. There have been a few changes such as the vlb taking on some of my work. She feels it necessary to have a dig at me by saying that I am responsible for lots of "£$%-ups" which she has had to correct whilst I was off. Well all I can say to that is that I am human and make mistakes under pressure as she will find out.

My boss is fond of saying the vlb is "very good at saying what she is thinking". She is also very fond of asking my every move with regard to spending time out of the office with Salesmen. I think the reason for this is she wants me out of the way. The best way I have found of dealing with prejudice and ignorance is by doing my job with quiet dignity. The other options are to blow my top and tell the vlb what I think of her and lose my job giving her the satisfaction of getting rid of me or speak to my boss about her behaviour with the risk of him stating "well you have had eight weeks off which others haven't had the luxury of".

What are peoples views on the situation?

Googlewhacker

There are three options for you

1) Fight everything that is done wrongly against you and make your manager sort things out

2) Ignore it and get on with your job

3) Find another job

Snowy_Owl

I've just read thorugh this thread and my thoughts are with you. having suffered from work related stress and anxiety before, i know that it's not something you wish to experience or ever ask for. I went off twice - it wasn't resolved or dealt with properly first time round (on both sides) and a year later, I was floored. I got through with great counselling, medication & a supportive doctor and having to go higher than my boos and get HR involved to make sure protocol was adhered to (& that was not easy considering what I was going through!)

I do agreee with Googlewhacker's options here. Stick to the absolute basics, do the job, get your head above water and get a new job. Your health is not worth this!!!!! Also, once on an even keel and your up to it, keep working on the confidence and asertiverness - in this kind of situation / problem, it took a lot of time to develop and can take a long time to fully recover!

Take care

Snowy

langsmith

sirmarcus wrote: »

You have my sympathies.

It is probably worth asking HR whether your company uses an Occupational Health Referral scheme for it's employees ? If it does, I would recommend that you use it. You will probably find that it would help you.

If you haven't done so already, I would also speak to your GP about your specific work problems. Have you considered a gradual return to work plan ? For example, work 2 hrs-per-day 3 days-a-week for the first two weeks, then moving up to 4hrs for the next 2 weeks, etc. Worth discussing with your GP and getting him to write a medical note prescribing this return to work plan to your employer. They will then be obliged to follow it.

Finally are you a member of a union ? If so, I suggest that you discuss your issues with them and perhaps get them to sit in with any meetings that you have with HR and your manager.

Agree with all of the above ^^