What am I doing wrong?

Arcana

Thanks for all the replies.

I'm afraid the small amount of colour on the CV is staying there so

Tiddlywinks: yes, she's depressed and lacks confidence. I suppose that's what having your family 3000 miles away, no money (so you don't get to see them), no friends, and failed your degree does to you. It's not much different for me really - apart from me having a job that I absolutely can't stand anymore.

I'm not saying you can only get a job as a cleaner or work at McDonalds if you have A-levels. I'm sure you can easily be a Receptionist for example. Personally, I only have A-levels and have a half decent office job so I know it's not impossible obviously. But with a Uni degree you do however have a lot more options.

I don't know why you seem to think that everyone who's 34 should have a life plan? I presume by 34 you expect us to have £50.000 in the bank, a mortgage, 2 cars and 2.4 kids right? If we were to have a kid by the time we had those thing it might never happen.
I guess I should talk to my neighbour who after working in a factory for 22 years have now been unemployed for 8 about "life plan".

I pretty much did explain her work experience earlier. It pretty much consists of various part time jobs (as she had to bring up a child) as Room attendant/ Cleaner, Catering assistant and Carer.

Caroline_a: good idea about very frequently contacting agencies. We hadn't thought of doing that.

Eliza: that's really good advice. Will check out some minor stores as well.

Kaych: thanks. I did look at that site last night actually. There's one or two jobs in my neighbourhood so they might get a CV.

And MrChandler.....that's 4 months - which includes holiday + time taken for studying for what she thought was going to be resitting of the exams, not 4 years.

I'm a bit hesitant in posting the CV now cause I get the feeling there's a few people who'd love to tell me something along the lines of "are you sure she's 34, cause I know 17 year olds with a stronger CV".

woohooo....it's my 100th post. Do I win a prize?

Annisele

Arcana wrote: »

I'm not saying you can only get a job as a cleaner or work at McDonalds if you have A-levels. I'm sure you can easily be a Receptionist for example. Personally, I only have A-levels and have a half decent office job so I know it's not impossible obviously. But with a Uni degree you do however have a lot more options.

Arrghhh! There are very few jobs that actually require a degree (other than the obvious like doctor, solicitor etc).

If she just wants a job, any job, then one thing she can do is: get herself a stack of her CVs, a pen, and details of referees (check with them first); go in person into every single shop/restaurant/hairdressers etc in your nearest high street and shopping centre; ask if they have any vacancies; if no, ask if she can leave her CV in case any come up soon; if yes, ask to see the manager to discuss; if handed an application form, fill it in there and then and hand it back. If that fails, try your next-nearest high street/shopping centre.

I do mean every single store - not just the minor ones, and not just the ones where the shop assistants look friendly!

That method has got me summer jobs in a couple of UK towns and one US one. I know that the economy sucks at the moment, but it's probably worth a shot. The advantage (for me) was that I didn't feel so personally rejected - I might have just had 50 people tell me that they didn't have any vacancies, but that was 50 places with no work rather than 50 people who didn't want me.

Edit: I did that before applying on line for things was common - but even then, if she can manage to wrangle a chat with whoever will be making the hiring decision it will stand her in good stead. Don't go on a Saturday afternoon; choose a quiet time!

parainsomniac

Hi,
I havnt read all the replies so I may be just repeating advice already given , but from speaking from my own past situtuation when I was jobless, a single mum and I also hadnt worked for a good while and did various courses while looking for work and bringing u my family I can understand your frustration on finding employment.
Peope are always quick to judge what you should have done or shouldnt have, its not aalways as easy to find work that will fit in with family life or when there is different circumstances like pregnancy along with many other factors that have a habbit of swaying employers against you, Im sure mental illness and disabilitys fall into similar problems with potential employers.
I think when your wife looks at jobs that may be suitable she should aproach them from the same angle as an applicant who has the more 'straight forward life' and steer away from too heavily going into the pregnancy conversation at least until the interview, Im sure when I was seeking advice for employment they told me that my personal situation shouldnt come into the application process and there fore the fact I had kids and had suffered from depression wasnt the buisness of the employer and It was not essential that I mention it if I felt it may go against me, I know pregnancy may not be quite the same and also quite obvious but still if it by not mentioning it on application it gets you through the door and you get an interveiw then thats a start to be able to be face to face.

Aside from that I found employment which is where I still work now, by just asking directly rather than applying the normal route in the job center or agencys and job sites,
Maybe it may be an idea for your wife to just go straight to a buisness premisis, whether its a shop, office carehome etc and walk right im asking to speak to the manager, then ask directly if there is the possibility of a job now or soon,
It also may mean they at least keep you in mind for anything that comes available in the future, which certainly cant hurt as like you say it has already been 4 months you have been trying, you could be looking another 4 month with the job climate as it is, you never know somewhere you try who has nothing going at the time now may contact you back in a month with a job potition thats just become available.

I think you wife also need to forget just looking for what shes qualified for and look at anything even if she then continues to look for the prefered job in mind..... its true when they say its easier to find employment while already in employment.

My job is not what I qualified to do at college, infact it couldnt be further from it, I just needed a job and I had no experience in the feild but i still got the job, Im sure thats down to me asking direct and just skipping the whole application form sending route.
I had origionaly though it may not be for me and would probably end up looking for another job around my qualifications, but i have to say, right from the first day in my present job Ive loved it and wouldnt want to change it and the procpects for moving up in the company are good so at the moment it looks like my carer has also taken a diferent course.

goodluck

ps. I never did get round to finishing and updating my cv, so its not impossible to even get a job without a cv, and just on impressions.

parainsomniac

MrChandlerBing wrote: »

This is going to sound cruel but this woman sounds an absolute no hoper. I'm not sure if you're allowed to post your cv on here but you should absolutely post it on here.

I don't care how unskilled you are, if you have been applying for jobs for 4 years you should get the odd interview.

well if she didnt feel bad about her self already then then she soon will with helpful input like this!

There is no such thing as a 'no hoper' thats unfair, especialy when someone has asked for advice.

Feed_The_Reaper

There is nothing wrong with your wife.....

I know people with less qualifications and education walk into the town and 4 hours later come back with several job offers and interviews.

In fact, tell her you love her very much and then tell her that tomorrow or whenever your both free your going to walk with her around every single shop, office and firm in the entire city and bang on every single door and support her as she goes in and asks if they have any positions going as she is looking for work.

With your support, love and encouragement, you will give her all the courage she needs to ask every single company in the entire town for work, or a chance to get her name on a jobs list should they have any work.

4 hours of walking around doing that 100 times should give you plenty of productive things to discuss with her in bed that night and possibly a slightly rosier future than you are worrying about right now

SueC_2

To answer the question in the heading of your original post, I'd suggest that it's not necessarily a case of you doing anything 'wrong'. But you do perhaps need to take an objective look at the facts, as you've presented them to us throughout the rest of your posts. Your wife:

• Has been unemployed for quite a while,
• Dropped her university degree,
• Failed exams,
• Failed to attend an exam,
• Has no long-term plan to remain with any employer, as she wants to return to university next year,
• Is pregnant,
• Suffers from dyslexia,
• Lacks discipline (as evidenced by your feeling that the OU would be unsuitable),
• Has a CV that is designed in such a way that goes against popular opinion of what is 'best',
• Is depressed,
• Lacks confidence,
• Only has work experience in the type of role that it's going to be difficult for her to carry out when heavily pregnant.

When you couple that with current unemployment levels, and the sheer volume of candidates applying for even the most menial of roles, I'm sorry to be brutal but you do need to accept that your wife quite possibly isn't the most attractive candidate.

I'm not saying this purely to be negative, or to deter her from trying - because I am certainly not saying she shouldn't try. But you both need to be prepared to face a long hard slog, with plenty of rejection along the way. Unfortunately that's the way the job market is, now more than ever.

I also think it would be worth giving consideration to each of the points above, and working out the best way to package them constructively in job applications. Finding the positives (for example, 1/ some of the above are likely to have taught your wife the importance of resilience and perseverence, 2/ ways in which she compensates for her dyslexia) and using them to sell herself can only help.

I think what I'm trying to say is that many of the things in the list above will be cause for concern for a prospective employer, to be successful she needs to alleviate their concerns from the outset.

Good luck.

Tiddlywinks

Arcana wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies.

I'm afraid the small amount of colour on the CV is staying there so - Are you deliberately trying to sabotage your wife's chances of employment?

Tiddlywinks: yes, she's depressed and lacks confidence. I suppose that's what having your family 3000 miles away, no money (so you don't get to see them), no friends, and failed your degree does to you. It's not much different for me really - apart from me having a job that I absolutely can't stand anymore. I'm not just talking about being a bit down or sorry for hersef, I'd suggest she speak to a medical professional - she is about to have another life changing event (another child) so needs to be as near to 'match fit' as possible.

I'm not saying you can only get a job as a cleaner or work at McDonalds if you have A-levels. I'm sure you can easily be a Receptionist for example. What are you talking about? This is certainly NOT an informed position. Personally, I only have A-levels and have a half decent office job so I know it's not impossible obviously. But with a Uni degree you do however have a lot more options. That depends on a number of factors - if your wife does not have the right frame of mind to motivate herself then she will never appear employable and, realistically, she will be older and have another child to consider.

I don't know why you seem to think that everyone who's 34 should have a life plan? I presume by 34 you expect us to have £50.000 in the bank, a mortgage, 2 cars and 2.4 kids right? No, but I expected you to have a plan for what you would both do once the new (planned) baby arrived.

I'm a bit hesitant in posting the CV now cause I get the feeling there's a few people who'd love to tell me something along the lines of "are you sure she's 34, cause I know 17 year olds with a stronger CV". Perhaps they would be telling it like it is...........?

I'm not having a pop at you but do you realise that you are coming across as a bit controlling and a little uncaring of how your wife is feeling.

Also, you don't appear to value your wife's achievements so far.... she has passed A levels and raised a child - yet you feel that she is only good for 'low grade' jobs. You should be her greatest ally not her biggest critic. You don't come across as the proud husband - why not?

I'd suggest she speak to someone to get help about how she feels or maybe join some clubs to get out of the house and possibly make some friends or develop outside interests. Maybe you both need this........... Good luck.