overwhelmed

FavDaughter1

Hi, where to begin?? i found out a week ago that my husband has run up thousands of pounds in credit card debt,he has cards i didn't even know about. earlier this year he took out a loan(i only found out last week) and paid them off £15,000 and now they're higher than they were then! i am reeling from shock. we have a secured loan and are almost £2,000 od at the bank. i have 1 card which is at it's £5,000 limit,he told me he was taking care of that&i gave him money to pay off it which he hasn't done, but i accept that's my responsibility.
the mortgage and secured loan are up to date but only because so far the bank has paid the direct debits. council tax etc are just about up to date.
we have a daughter at uni which has been very hard.

i am disabled,on disability living allowance and incapacity with a motability car.

he is employed.i insisted we went to the CAB who have all the info,we're waiting to see a money advisor now. the person who saw us at the CAB talked about a Basic Bank account-i'd never heard of it,but have searched here and learnt. do i need to get one? my present bank account is a joint 1 with my husband which is overdrawn. i also have £500 in that bank in a seperate saving account which i want to keep incase i need it to cover a mortgage payment or secured loan,ought i to withdraw it? i asked the CAB lady if it would help if i put the £500 into our joint bank account to help reduce the overdraft but she told me to keep it as i might need it.

this isn't the 1st time he's got us into a mess,years ago we had CCJ's. i realise now he can't control a credit card. he promises if we can get straight he won't have another. but i'm not sure i trust him as he's taken a loan and cards out that i didn't know about.

the CAB did mention bankruptcy. oh my god. what a shock. he really is in a mess.

because of my disability i feel especially vunerable. i am terrified the house will have to be sold,i'll have no where to go, being dss it'd be hard to rent.
i'm so angry with him and yet trying to support him. he alarms me,he feel "this time" isn't as bad as "last time" because we're not behind(so far) on council tax and mortgage payments, but the amount of money involved is much, much worse than last time. i don't understand how he makes that ok with himself. i am trying to prepare myself incase he is made bankrupt.

any advice would be much appreciated.

debtinfo

Hello and welcome

First i would say that it is good that you are seeing a money advisor.

Unfortunatly we cannot tell you what to do, that is a decision that you need to make yourself. The first thing to do is make a list of all your assets and debts, what they are worth and who is liable for what.

Next you need to make a list of your income and expenditure to see what money is available to deal with the problem, so have a go at that first, dont panic and dont make any rushed decisions, you are very much at the start of the path and nothing serious is likely to happen for months even if you start missing payments, so allow some time to reflect and make informed decisions.

Apart from that if you have any specific questions then post them and we will see what we can do to answer them

DI

So_Sad_Angel

Hi Fav

Welcome & well done for posting. Sending you a big ((HUG))

CAB are the best people to talk to but there is also CCCS & Nat Debtline if you want to talk on the phone ( I will post the numbers in a minute) .

There are lots of different senarios & ` if & buts` with bankruptcy & it is by no means a forgone conclusion. There are many other options & BR is very much the last resort.

By writing your post I imagine the emotions will have been quite high but you have made that first step & started the road to recovery.

No debt crisis can`t be solved ...its just a case of tackling the issues & working through it.

You need the advice first & this forum is here for emotional support & getting opinions & experience of other people that have been where you are now.

Knowledge is power so get reading up the threads & learning.

Be strong & keep smiling Hun....it may not seem like it right now but there is a glimmer at the end of the tunnel & it will get brighter.

Angiexx

So_Sad_Angel

Here you go -

• Consumer Credit Counselling Service (Scotland) - Website: CCCS Telephone: 0800 138 3328
• National Debtline (Scotland) - Website: National Debtline Telephone: 0808 808 4000
• Citizens Advice Bureau - Website: Citizens Advice or visit your local CAB centre (find nearest)

This forum is here so you can ask as many questions as you like so ask away.

alastairq

hello and welcome.....

I can imagine the feelings your husband has undergone....running around like the little Dutch boy, finding the leaking dyke and sticking his finger in to try to plug the flow....desperately trying to contain the outpouring of debt.

The trouble with credit card debt, isn't so much the actual [capital] amount owed, but he penalty charges that credit card companies impose should a payment be missed/late, etc.

I tried that method..of 'consolidating' debt by taking out loans to pay off credit cards...somehow, months down the line, I was back where I started from...all down to charges, penalties, etc..so money I had earmarked from earnings, to service the loan, was being used to pay those very same credit card charges, etc.....eventually, all income was servicing debt, so cards were used to simply live on.

The spiral continues, and is always downwards.

There is something about the 'failure' to keep one's head above water, financially, which prevents folk from wanting to admit the problem with one's loved ones.....and which can lead to friction, conflict, and breakdown.

You might need to overcome his feelings of failure, before serious progress can be made??


[do seek to discover if gambling is an issue, though.....this can have an 'effect' on BR, for example]

Regarding the setting-up of a 'basic' bank account [for yourself, I assume]....?

This is sound advice, in this situation....whilst you have a [joint] overdraught of such proportions, any income is vulnerable if it goes into the same bank account.
[banks can grab hold of moneys paid in, for their own purposes..leaving you without , literally]

The advice really is...to set up a [basic] bank account..or accounts....separate from where your debts lie.....

All incomes are thus paid into the new account...and therefore protected, so you [both] have control over how they are used.


Debts will need to be separated from income...that is important.

Once done, then all 'priority' debt [Council tax, mortgage payments, etc] can be met from income.
All domestic living expenses can be met....

....then all other debt [non-priority..credit cards, unsecured loans, etc,etc]....can be serviced from what is left.

What is left may not be enough to meet their demands...this is where negotiation regarding the servicing of the debt s is entered into.

CAB, amongst others, can assist with this negotiation.

There are countless methods of dealing with this debt......

BR is one of them....and really isn't a 'last resort' in my view.....but merely a lawful method of bringing closure to, or 'dealing' with insurmountable debt, if one's surplus income after essential expenses is insufficient to meet those debts.

For sure it can have it's 'limitations'......and is best coped with by having a total re-assessment of one's lifestyle.

But it isn't an 'admission of failure'....it is a tool, well used at all levels of society and business......did the directors of Rover feel bad about their company's collapse?

I think not!

Neither should anybody in a position to consider BR feel bad!


Consider the alternative??



For a basic bank account which offers all the services one expects from any bank account...barring cheques and over draughts.....see Co-op Bank [phone] and open Cashminder accounts.


Barclays are another...but I recommend Co-op Bank.

The reason for these two being mentioned, above all other banks is...if BR is an outcome, then these two are BR -friendly.

Others won't want your business.....[and you don't really want to know them anyway......]

If Barclays is a creditor....stick with Co-op!


Note...If BR is a viable option, then you will only be 'allowed' to have basic bank accounts....no access to 'credit' via cheque books or automatic overdraughts...

FavDaughter1

Hi, thankyou for your reply's. we went together and opened a joint basic bank account today with co op. i would have chosen Barclays,but hubby has a credit card with them- in arrears,so following advice here co op seemed safer. i wasn't sure if i want a joint account with him,but i thought a joint account would mean i can keep track if the mortgage is paid.
i didn't know we needed a appointment,but they were very kind,let us fill the form in,then we sat and waited to be seen. it was totally painless,no questions at all except had we brought ID with us. they said we'd have it all set up to use in 10 working days. at the moment even though we're overdrawn at the tsb they are paying direct debits,mortgage etc, i'm not sure how long this will go on for.
things with my husband are pretty bad. we hardly speak,when we do it tuns into a horrible row. for me it feels worse because of my disability,i feel terribly vunerable.

andyf1980

Hi FavDaughter1. Just wanted to say welcome and good luck. You're in the right place. This forum is incredibly supportive and non judgemental. I think it has kept me (almost) sane since the BR last month! Well done with the Co op as well, they have been great as well - the only difference between them and my old account is no OD - never used a cheque book befire so no loss!

Take care.

FavDaughter1

just a update. we've now got a basic bank account set up in the co op, who we're brilliant and very helpful.my hubby's card arrived yesterday,still waiting for mine and the pin numbers,but we've been able to alter where our money is paid into today! feels a big positive! there was a slight problem running me through the phone security-i'm the 2nd name on a joint account,the co op advised me to take id into branch, hubby took me today- easy,all sorted!

we are now in the process of setting up direct debits,we've sorted out our money being paid into the account today!!!!!

my hubby rang the CAB as he's getting a lot of calls from Egg, they had a spare slot with their money adviser so we saw him! it was stressful,he talked about BR, but felt we should be able to go for a IVA, we're very hopeful. we have to wait now while he speaks to someone about our case, we've got a case number now to give out to anyone bothering us.
he said they usually use 1 of 2 companies,1 being Grant Thornton,has anyone heard of them?

any tips or advice for us to think about or ask about would be helpful.
being able to read up a little here before the meetings has been a big help to us. it's a lot to deal with and take in. thankyou all for posting, i wanted you to know having the board has made a difference,helped.

andyf1980

Really pleased for you; it sounds like you've made some good progress with the bank account and CAB.

I think alistairq makes a good point about bankruptcy not being the "last resort"

Whilst I wouldn't encourage anyone to enter into br lightly, for some people (me included) it is a lifesaver. I didn't have the option of an IVA as I was sacked from work due to ill health. From a purely selfish point, I have br with automatic discharge after a year. Had I been able to get an IVA I would have been paying for 5 years. I just felt for my sanity I needed to put past mistakes behind me and make a fresh start.

Not sure if that's helpful or not! :mad:

benjiangel

andyf1980 wrote: »

Really pleased for you; it sounds like you've made some good progress with the bank account and CAB.

I think alistairq makes a good point about bankruptcy not being the "last resort"

Whilst I wouldn't encourage anyone to enter into br lightly, for some people (me included) it is a lifesaver. I didn't have the option of an IVA as I was sacked from work due to ill health. From a purely selfish point, I have br with automatic discharge after a year. Had I been able to get an IVA I would have been paying for 5 years. I just felt for my sanity I needed to put past mistakes behind me and make a fresh start.

Not sure if that's helpful or not! :mad:

Hear hear!! Slight difference for us - we tried IVA but were denied by majority creditor (HSBC, for the record) - but the 'fresh start' sentiment is what's important.

Draw a line, and move on :wave:

Tupperware_Queen

your story sounds so familiar. wishing you all the best xxx