where do I start

new_start_2

Well ive just been dealt a blow tonight by my husband that I didnt see coming. He has decided we are separating and has even gone as far as looking for somewhere to live.

I have no idea where to begin. We have a child who is 6 years old and we have recently been looking to move all together and have gone as far as viewing and expressing an interest in a property. The only reason we havnt sent the forms in and paid the money to the agents is because im waiting on a proof of income from the inland revenue as im self employed.

So its a bit of a shock and I dont know where to turn for help. We have already given our notice to quit the property we are in in December.

As I said im self employed and my pay varies so much as im reliant on other people for work. Some weeks I dont even work at all so I dont have a guaranteed income. My husband works but we have debts and there isnt much left by the time they are paid so he cant afford to pay my rent. I have no idea what im entitled to. We get a little bit of tax credit now, around £34 per month I think and I get child benefit but thats all the benefits we get. What would I be able to get if I was on my own with my son. I would still be working but like I said I have no guarantee of work. Im looking for a house to rent but dont know how im going to pay for it as I simply cannot afford to commit to say £400 per month. Would I even be entitled to any help at all with me working and my husband working too.

So may questions I know but I just dont know where to turn.

paddedjohn

First off go and see if the la has found a new tennant yet, you my be able to withdraw your notice. Monday am straight to the benefits office and set out your case.

new_start_2

Hi and thanks for the prompt reply. The landlord doesnt have new tenants yet and I could withdraw the notice no problem as they dont want us to leave but I simply cannot afford to pay the high rent on my own. My husband also cannot afford to pay it and also pay rent for himself elsewhere.

paddedjohn

He is jointly obliged to make sure your son has somewhere to live, unless you can agree on a figure i think the csa can take 20% of his wage for maintenance.

nannytone_2

its 15% for one child.
20% for 2 and 25% for 3 or more.

[Deleted User]

I'd advise getting down to basics if u can.., altho I know its unbelievably stressful right now.

First of all work out what finances u have coming in. Cold hard facts are what u need. Look at all your earnings for the last 12 months. If u average out your earnings (i.e. find out a yearly total, then monthly).., can u manage on this (see para below and take the estimated revised tax credits figure into account as well)? Concentrate initially on the next couple of months as this will be your most difficult time if you husband is planning to move out quickly. If he isn't then make sure u budget to put some money away so u have a nest egg to tide your over when he does move out. It will take time to get tax credits and/or benefit claims processed, that's when u'll need some reserves. Then look at your situation and try and decide if it will change (if u can find a way to increase your income or if it is likely to decrease because of the economic situation) in the next 12 months to allow u to plan.

Phone up tax credits, tell them about your change in circumstances or when your husband plans to leave, your yearly earnings and find out what tax credits u will receive as a single parent family. It should show quite an increase. This may help u to manage.

Discuss with your husband who will pay any debt payments you currently share. Go thru them one by one. Reduce any other bills u can, and make arrangements over who will pay what. I'm afraid he has to be told, if he has to live in a bed sit, providing for your child MUST come first. Its his choice to leave.., he has a duty to make provisions at least for basic support. He may respond to this way of thinking, he may not so don't depend on his reaction.

If your total income amount is very low go to the CAB, explain your self employed status and earnings (taking in relevant paperwork) and hopefully they will be able to explain what, as a single parent, u can expect in benefits.

I know it feels awful now, but the only way u can protect yourself is to work out what u will have to manage on. You may have to move, u may not, depending on finances, so start looking at what options u have. Just do all this one step at a time. It will get better.

new_start_2

Thank you for the information re csa but I don't want to use them. There is no doubt my husband wants to provide for us and he will have our child to stay over. He is a fantastic dad and will not shirk his responsibilities. I don't expect him to pay my rent as well as his own but he will help if I really need him to. I don't want to be reliant on him though.

He can't live in a bedsit as that wouldn't be any use to our child who wouldn't be able to stay over with him.

I can't estimate my earnings because of the uncertainty of work. One day I may have work then have nothing for weeks it's really that unpredictable. I also don't want to not work.

new_start_2

I forgot to say that this will all be happening quickly so no time to put money away. Notice has been given on this property so we both need to find somewhere to live. The rent here is £700 and there's no way I can afford it on my own and even with my husband helping he wouldn't be able to pay his own rent so staying isn't a financial option.

matt2222

Both my sisters went through similar times and both are now very happy with new partners and working in jobs they enjoy.
At the time I remember them being very defensive about their partners
who had left them and this seems to be a common response at the time
when you are in shock and disbelief
However things can change when new partners and possibly step-children
appear especially with jealousy and finances and although it sometimes all works out very often it doesn't
Therefore I would plan very much for the worst case scenario while you are
able to ensure the best for you and your child.

matt2222

Given that your work is uncertain and you may struggle with work initially when
the reality of you new circumstances hit home I would consider applying for Income
Support for now and also look at the Local Housing Allowance Direct website to see how much housing allowance you would be entitled to for a 2 bed home for you and your child where you live or would like to live.You will also be entitled to Council Tax Benefit
On Income Support you can still work under 16 hours per week and have £20 disregarded.With that I.S,Child Tax Credit you would have an income of about £140 per week plus whatever your husband can contribute as I believe child maintenance payments are totally disregarded since April 2010 although I am not 100% sure
Hope you have lots of friends and family for support and that everything works out for you