Pregnant and new job

FBaby

I think you should be totally honest with them, said you really wanted the job because x, y and z and you were too worried that if you had told them the fact at interview, they wouldn't have picked you and you really wanted the job. Explain that you really do intend on coming back after 2 weeks and only if there are unforeseen circumstances, this is what you will do.

I worked until a week before my due date for both my children. It was hard but I managed. I don't know how many hours a week you are working, but if it is minimal, then yes, I think it is totally manageable. The only concern is if you had to have a c-section, then going back after two weeks depending on the job might be very difficult.

In any case, try your best that despite the fact they will be loosing a few weeks of your labour (no punt intended!) they have gained the most dedicated employee and that will benefit the organisation in the long run.

AimeesMum_2

Do you have childcare arranged for the baby considering it will only be maximum two weeks old when you are at work?

Are you breastfeeding or do you plan on bottlefeeding? What if you have a C-Section? Do you have other children? What if you get post natal depression?

These are what I meant when I said have you really thought this through? If you have any of these things then you are going to need an understanding employer and have a good open relationship. I honestly think if you don't tell them asap then you are setting yourself up for a fall.

poorgrad

Thank you BAILEYS6904, Loanranger and FBaby. That is really sound advice for how to approach them and discuss it with them. It's nice to hear a positive solution about how to deal with the situation.

AimeesMum, I do have childcare in place already and this is my first baby. I do plan to breastfeed and being part-time this really should not cause a problem. I do plan on meeting with them before I start to discuss everything.

BatCat

Hi Poorgrad,
I think you need to be realistic.
Being pregnant is very hard on your body. You will be very tired and very large towards the end. You will also be very tired and sore following the delivery.
A more sensible approach would be to research the grants and benefits available to you and take 6 weeks. Go to your local CAB as there is Maternity Allowance etc. that you could have.
You need to discuss your situation with your future employer.
Employers are not by the way allowed to ask about dependants/plans to have children etc. in interviews as that is discriminatory.
Cheers,
BatCat

poorgrad

BatCat wrote: »

Hi Poorgrad,
I think you need to be realistic.
Being pregnant is very hard on your body. You will be very tired and very large towards the end. You will also be very tired and sore following the delivery.

Thanks. I'm just trying to have the absolute minimal impact on my future employer. I will speak it over with them and see where we can go from there.

honeypop

OP, I know a few people are saying you will immediately be seen as untrustworthy when you tell them you are pregnant, but when I had a similar situation that wasn't that case at all.

I had to interview for a new job when I was 12 weeks pregnant as I was made redundant, I wasn't showing and for obviuos reasons I chose not to mention it. I got the job (the first one I was offered as the longer I left it, the more obvious it would become!) and started when I was about 16 weeks pregnant. My initial plan was to tell them after my 20 week scan, firstly to check everything was ok and secondly I wanted to work a month there to confirm it was where I wanted to stay before telling them, rather than tell them immediately and then find it wasn't a great place to work, as I had rushed into accepting the job and didn't really know an awful lot about them.

I worked 3 weeks, then it was the xmas/new year break, and in that 3 weeks I realised this was not your most 'ethical' company, management thought nothing of getting rid of people on a whim if they suddenly decided they didn't like them (with hefty compromise agreeements to buy their silence), but I really enjoyed my role and I had little contact with management as my role was quite self contained, and I was dreading telling them eventually due to their likely reaction. In that time, I did the absolute best job I could, to show them they chose the right person for the job, and was regularly praised for exceeding their expectations.

As it turned out, I told them as soon as I got back to work in the January, just before my scan, as one day I just felt the urge and came out with it, I said I was planning to work as close to the birth date as possible and return to work approx 3 months after (at the time I thought I would have to due to financial reasons) and if they wanted then I would do all the work to find the temp to replace me while I was off. My boss had the surprising reaction of congratulating me and saying if there's anything the company can do to help me with anything then they will, he said I had shown them I was the best person for the job in the short time I had been there and they would rather replace me for a few months and know I am returning to carry on the great work, than lose me altogether and have someone not quite as good permanently. He said he appreciated my dedication to the role where I mentioned I would work as much as I could and be back asap.

I never apologised for not telling them sooner, or for interviewing when I knew I was pregnant, for all they knew I may have only just found out about the pregnancy after I started (I didn't say that though, just didn't say I DID already know). And I walked out of his office feeling elated at having told them and got a good reaction. Once word got around as I got bigger, I didn't encounter one bit of bad feeling from colleagues, and in the end I had to finish work 6 weeks before the birth as I couldn't drive anymore and there was no other way of getting to the work location and then had to have 7 months off afterwards due to complications following the birth, and I still received a warm welcome back. I organised a great temp who did the job well enough to keep it ticking over nicely and was in regular contact when needed. I had to claim Maternity Allowance, so it didn't cost the employer anything to replace me, just approx the same cost to an agency for the temp.

Just wanted to show you that not all employers will be bad about it. You got the job based on your merits, I know you don't have time to prove yourself in the job before telling them but after you tell them show them in the first few weeks following your start that you can do it brilliantly and were the best person for the job, make sure it's a place you want to stay at long-term. Either before you start or when you start have a quiet word with your manager to explain you are pregnant but are dedicated to the role and will work as late as you can and return asap (even if it will change nearer the time) and you will do all you can to help with getting and training a replacement for while you are off, to minimise disruption to the role.

Ignore those who say it is not the moral thing to do, the law says you don't have to tell them until 25 weeks anyway, as others have said. It didn't cause mistrust with my managers, and didn't prevent me from working my way up. I have been back 9 months now and almost straight after my return I was already gaining more responsibility and having my role improved. I'm now almost 6 months pregnant again, and there's been no problems about me only having been back so long before going off again.

Good luck with your situation x

Savvy_Sue

poorgrad wrote: »

The role is part-time and requires a couple of hours work a week which I feel is manageable to return to after 2 weeks. But I can totally see where you are coming from.

Ah, now that makes a BIG difference! Covering for someone's M/L when they're doing a few hours is a very different thing to covering for a full-timer.

honeypop wrote: »

and secondly I wanted to work a month there to confirm it was where I wanted to stay before telling them, rather than tell them immediately and then find it wasn't a great place to work, as I had rushed into accepting the job and didn't really know an awful lot about them.

That makes a lot of sense! It is possible that the OP will decide after a week that much as she needs the money, it's not the job for her, and then there's no (or little) harm done.

honeypop wrote: »

I never apologised for not telling them sooner, or for interviewing when I knew I was pregnant, for all they knew I may have only just found out about the pregnancy after I started (I didn't say that though, just didn't say I DID already know).

That thought had also crossed my mind: I wouldn't lie, but I wouldn't necessarily volunteer the information that I knew I was pregnant at interview. If you can honestly say "Since applying for the job I have found out I am pregnant" then that is a phrase worth practising ...

Many women choose NOT to tell people that they are pregnant until after scans have confirmed that all is well, so many pregnancies don't lead to a baby that telling EVERYONE the moment you know or suspect can lead to a lot of confusion and distress when you have to say you've miscarried.

moneypuddle

Ah so you're only working a couple of hours a week? Really? Actually a couple? Two hours?

chuckley

so basically, u went to an interview knowing u were pregnant and didn't tell them, have since been offered the job but will be 25 wks pregnant wen u start and u think u will 'only' take 2 weeks maternity (like seriously?!).

they will sack u using the 'probationary' excuse and quite frankly uve been dishonest by not disclosing ur status at the interview and then again when they offered u the job. not good for business.

from their point of view, uve shortchanged them.

Oldernotwiser

poorgrad wrote: »

Thanks for your comments. I am going to try my hardest not to give them any other reason to get rid of me.

To be honest, I have had some evasive interviews in my time but this one was different. I wore my wedding ring and they didn't ask about anything personal - about home responsibilities, dependants etc. So it leads me to believe that they *may* have a different organisational culture. Well I hope so at least.

And you may find yourself responsible for changing the culture back again!