help !

13Kent

I don't know if his pension income will be included in the assessment.

clearingout

It's not difficult to apply- you do have forms to fill in (or you can do it online) but once that's done, it's in the hands of the csa (who can be slow - they sometimes need a nudge via a phone call!). You can either call them to start the ball rolling or you can go to their website and fill in the forms. Just be aware, the longer your leave it, the more you're losing in maintenance, they won't backdate all these years so don't leave it any longer!

skibadee

Definetly contact CSA asap.....if he trys to lie about his income to them....I think you can apply for a Variation or Departure ( someone please say which ) based on his lifestyle not inkeeping with income stated...(ie., new car, holidays etc., ).
Its his loss if he doesn't want to see his children......very hard for the children though if they do want to spend time with their dad.

debtmess

thank you for the help, words and advice

have tried again tonight to reason, its like hitting a brick wall, so i guess im going to have to make some phone calls tomorrow, he has told me csa wont get more then 75 out of him, that im selfish and self centred there has been worse tonight, with the last message just telling me to f off

can the csa make him pay, he wont pay willingly, he is not paying anywhere near what the court order states ( £250 pm) wont give me work details hours etc so im not sure how much of a brick wall im going to be hitting

i feel sad and angry, there his children as well, i didn't plan them alone didn't have them alone i feel almost like walking away i don't have time for men who cannot and wont support there children, i remember only too well how it was for me and my siblings when my dad walked out leaving nothing and paying very little at any other time, we didn't go without what we really needed but there was never anything spare iykwim, i really wanted things to be different for my little ones, yet i feel i am failing them

dazzadub

i would contact csa, if hes flashing the cash and buyin expensive things then defo. if he had made an effort to see kids and buy them things then fair enough.

i dont agree with men not wanting to see there kids,
i have fought tooth and nail for 3 years to just see mine, paid csa etc, finally i get to see them, and she sends me bills for nursery fees of 48 quid a day, her cataloge bill ( saying this is what she spent on clothes and shoes )
and asking for taxi fair, etc she asked for last month £289 for nursery fees
£126 clothes
£43 shoes
£70 school trip
£20 taxi cost to doctors

plus csa took £220

so i make effort with kids, buy them nice things, clothes, days out, day trips to seaside etc and she goes mad like this, as she has cheek to try and take me back to court saying i dont pay enuff to the children.

i would call csa but he might turn round and say like im thinking that he isnt going to help finacially anymore or provide anything for them.

Loopy_Girl

debtmess wrote: »

can the csa make him pay, he wont pay willingly, he is not paying anywhere near what the court order states ( £250 pm) wont give me work details hours etc so im not sure how much of a brick wall im going to be hitting

Yes the can. If he refuses to 'fess up with info then the CSA can go directly to his employer for the info.
Then can then put a DEO (deduction of earnings order) on his wage which means payroll will deduct the money even before he gets it and they then pass it on to the CSA and they pass it on to you.

You are not failing them - you are the constant parent and you are the one fighting for their future.

You have a right to regular maintenance. Flash presents are no use to you when you have the day to day costs of bring your children up.

Loopy_Girl

dazzadub wrote: »

i would contact csa, if hes flashing the cash and buyin expensive things then defo. if he had made an effort to see kids and buy them things then fair enough.

i dont agree with men not wanting to see there kids,
i have fought tooth and nail for 3 years to just see mine, paid csa etc, finally i get to see them, and she sends me bills for nursery fees of 48 quid a day, her cataloge bill ( saying this is what she spent on clothes and shoes )
and asking for taxi fair, etc she asked for last month £289 for nursery fees
£126 clothes
£43 shoes
£70 school trip
£20 taxi cost to doctors

plus csa took £220

so i make effort with kids, buy them nice things, clothes, days out, day trips to seaside etc and she goes mad like this, as she has cheek to try and take me back to court saying i dont pay enuff to the children.

i would call csa but he might turn round and say like im thinking that he isnt going to help finacially anymore or provide anything for them.

Did you read all the posts from the OP? He is not helping them financially but is treating himself to the flash stuff.

Surely as a Dad who pays and sees his kids regular you can see this is wrong? Not only is he contact blocking himself but he has decided that he has has enough of the 'old' family and is not contributing to the 3 boys they had in marriage?

debtmess

i got to speak to my solicitor today and am now seeing her next monday (in court 15th novemeber) she has told me i need to leave csa until after next court hearing otherwise courts wont be able to deal with it as it will be in hands of csa iykwim and to show her texts etc he has sent as regardless of my is etc he should still contribute for his children so i have a 10 day wait.... even if i come home from court and apply online the same day x she needs dates of when and what i have had since we last went to court, and she will pass me his currant address monday in preperation

missbunbury

Make sure you send the CSA a copy of the court order as they will need to overturn it, their assessment will then be effective from 2 months 2 days after the date on which they do the calculation. In the meantime, he should still be liable to pay the amount on the court order, and if he doesn't then it will have to be pursued through the courts.

dazzadub

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Did you read all the posts from the OP? He is not helping them financially but is treating himself to the flash stuff.

Surely as a Dad who pays and sees his kids regular you can see this is wrong? Not only is he contact blocking himself but he has decided that he has has enough of the 'old' family and is not contributing to the 3 boys they had in marriage?

thats why i said get csa involved if he dont contribute anything, as it says he buys them nice stuff etc.

thats all.