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Nectar, what can one do?

Our Nectar account frequently does not show points earned and we have to keep making enquiries via email.
Now they have started to use the reply that we have to contact the company ourselves, really what is the point of having a card?

Now the offer of 5000 points for the DVD rental we took up has been denied despite the fact they know we used their link. We have been advised to contact Lovefilm ourselves to claim the points. Is there any way to counter this or are rewards cards exempt from consumer or contract law. They seem to make up their own rules.
Any advice appreciated

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