Do I need to apply for probate, for my husband?

Pollycat

I too just wanted to express my sympathy at this very difficult time for you.
I'm glad to hear that your family is being so supportive but I agree with one of the other posters that maybe you should consider telling them of your financial situation.

Also, just wanted to pick up on this part of mountainofdebt's post:

mountainofdebt wrote: »

As far as I am aware the lump sum payment doesn't form part of the estate (or at least it didn't when the FIL died - and his lump sum payment was paid directly to OH and SIL)

I'm a Post Office pensioner and under our scheme you could sign a form that made any lump sum due on death NOT part of the estate.
But if you didn't sign this form (and lots didn't because they weren't aware of the significance and importance) then it did form part of the estate.

You need to speak to the pension company to find out for sure.

(((hugs)))

mountainofdebt

birdlady wrote: »

Hello Twoflower

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. My husband died 2 years ago, I found the numbness I felt in the first couple of weeks helped me get through all the arrangements.
My husband owed around 15k when he died, the lump sum did not form part of his estate as it wasn't 'his' money at the time of his death,and I didn't need probate. Once the trustees were told they asked for death and marriage certificates and informed me that I had been named in his expression of wish. It took a while as the trustees only met every 2 months and it was over 6 months before any money was paid out. I had a solicitor but the trustees refused to discuss it with him and would only write to me

Cath x

Would agree with this.

When FIL died, the solicitors who were acting as executors were told that there was no payment due to the estate....which perplexed us at the time.

It was only after a chance conversation with a financial advisor did OH & SIL write to the Trustees. It literally took only a few weeks to sort out and get the payment received.

As for not letting your parents help you ......I know what you mean by its a private thing but consider letting them in .....if it was my daughter then I wouldn't care how much debt she was in, I would only be interested in helping her emotionally if not practically.
x

birdlady

It's my understanding (although might be wrong) that estate/will/executors/probate is one thing and life insurance/expression of wish is something else. The expression of wish does not have to name the same beneficiaries as the will and only the beneficiaries have a right to know about it, which is why they will not discuss it with anyone else. The executors can't include it in the estate because the estate doesn't receive it . I wasted money using a solicitor the trustees wouldn't even write to. (unless as Pollycat says it has been signed over to the estate)

Twoflower if you haven't already apply for bereavement payment , I got 2k and it came through in 2 or 3 weeks, also as you won't be applying for probate you can soon claim back your husbands tax paid since april

And by the way, I pretended for a long time that hubby was just at work, even after I really knew he wasn't. My heart goes out to you .

Cath x

escortg3

i am so sorry for your loss.

Please have a look at the link below as i would think you can claim the bereavement payment £2000 tax free lomp sum payment which if your entitled to is worth claiming http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/BenefitsTaxCreditsAndOtherSupport/Bereaved/DG_10018703

paddy's_mum

I'm sorry for your trouble but on a practical level, there seems little point in keeping such an important aspect secret from your parents.

If you go bankrupt or have any kind of debt proceedings taken against you, your private business is likely to become known to them anyhow.

You will have denied yourself their support, understanding and help for the sake of what .. avoiding embarrassment or loss of face? I have to say that I couldn't agree more with the last paragraph of mountainofdebt's post (no 13) and indeed, if I were your mother, I would be unbelievably hurt that you had not trusted me enough to share all the burdens that your loss will have created.

Won't you let them in, if only so that they can help you keep your health and sanity through this nightmare time? Perhaps you would find it possible to confide in them if you could see it as their investment in their daughter and their grandchildren. On a scale of one to ten of human disasters, and in the light of your family's tragedy, where does being in debt come .... very, very low I would suggest.

Good luck.

gratefulforhelp_2

Hugs, twoflower.

mountainofdebt

The other thing to remember about letting your parents help you is that they won't be spending their time judging you and your late husband, or the situation you both found yourselves in, but spending the time supporting you deal with the situation.

Sometimes we worry too much about people will think about us and not about the help and support those people could offer if they knew that we needed it.

trudie15

So sorry for your loss, I can't imagine what you're going through. The only help I may be able to offer is - My Dad died last year, 6 months after starting his pension, I applied for probate but didn't have to include the pension lump sum that my brother and I were due to receive.

DVardysShadow

The pension lump sum is not normally part of the estate. Normally it is held by the pension trustees to be distributed according to the expression of wishes form. The expression of wishes form is not binding on the trustees partly, I believe, as a technical measure to stop it becoming part of the estate and partly for practical reasons [if another child is born and the expression of wished has not been updated, it allows the trustees discretion to interpret the wishes according to the actual situation].

As the lump sum is not part of the estate, it also cuts out some of the bureaucracy of probate etc. You need to check with the pension trustees - the advice I have given is subject to the terms of the pension fund

Vedder2008

Hi Twoflower,
I just want to say I know exactly what you are going through, the same thing happened to me when our son was five years old, but my husband went off to work and never came home again.
At this moment in time you will feel bitter that it's happened to you, but don't let it consume you, you need to be strong for your children.There is light at the end of the tunnel, it just takes time.
Take care now.