What to spend on presents for child's birthday/christmas...

Wonder_Womble

dizzyblonde82 wrote: »

Hi,

My son will be 5 on Christmas Eve and I am wondering how people split what they spend on Christmas and Birthday presents - do you spend the same on both or more for Birthday/Christmas.

I spend more on Christmas, I have no idea why I do that though :rotfl:

Last year I went a bit mad as I felt guilty that he doesn't really get much the rest of the year and wanted to celebrate the days separately. DH's birthday is New Years Eve and he said that all through his live he only ever got one present to cover both Christmas/Birthday.

That was the story of my childhood, and as I got older it really used to upset me. I remember one year my brother got a CD player for his birthday in June, then a scalectrix for Christmas. I got a CD player as a joint birthday and Christmas present, and I felt robbed

coco1980 wrote: »

my personal opinion is that I am well aware that his birthday is so close to xmas so i budget and get his pressie a few months before so that i dont struggle as much. I hate it when family members say "do you mind if we just get him a wee thing with it being so close to christmas" Its not that im greedy its just not my ds's fault he was born when he was and he sees all his cousins get more cause their b'days are more in the summer !!
My sister and brother's birthdays are in the Summer and this used to really upset me as a child. I've got to admit after some serious protesting by me as a child, my family are very good now and I never get a joint Christmas/birthday present unless I've requested it

74jax wrote: »

My birthday is boxing day and so i'm in a similar position to your son.
Me too!! :beer:

Some tips which you might find helpful (I know you didn't ask for any so you can stop reading now if you think i'm crossing a mark....)

Please wrap birthday presents in birthday paper. My brother used to 'forget' and I'd always get xmas paper, he'd say it was cheaper etc..... so one year I wrapped his birthday present in xmas paper and he then realised that it is a small gesture that does mean a lot - don't ask why but it does.
I agree, it does mean a lot to the birthday boy or girl. Many a time friends have wrapped my presents in Christmas paper and to me that just says that you don't care enough to make the effort

Try to get your birthday card before December as birthday cards are taken away to make room for Christmas cards and so you'll be left with not much choice.
Yip, I'm frequently told that I haven't got a card this year as they couldn't find one in the shops, well with websites like Moonpig there is no excuse now!

Try really really hard not to ever 'combine' presents. One of my ex bf's once got me a really nice weekend away as a 'joint' christmas and birthday. It may seem horrid, but I spend all year waiting for my birthday and christmas and like them seperate. I would never dream of getting my now bf a weekend away in July for his birthday and saying it's for his christmas present too but them actually when it comes to christmas not getting him anything.
I agree!

try to have a birthday party before the school breaks up for xmas, that way they still get the fun of a party and it's not taken up with playing christmas games etc.
This is a good idea as most people will be away visiting family over the Christmas period so you may not get a good turn out to a party during the school hols.

To the OP, you're obviously putting a lot of thought into this now which I'm sure you're child will appreciate in years to come.

Wonder_Womble

dizzyblonde82 wrote: »

Last year I wrapped his birthday presents in birthday paper and will always do that so that it helps him to separate the dates. He had a separate presents each day but was very disappointed on Boxing day when he came downstairs and there were no more presents :rotfl:

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:I still feel like that now and I'm almost 37! I get lots of pressies on Christmas Day, then another batch on Boxing Day for my birthday, then the day after we go to visit the in-laws and receive another lot. The 28th is always a big let down unless I get a gift from a friend who I haven't had the chance to meet up with before Christmas :j

Triggles

Add to that the friends they have who's parents have split (sadly virtually all my kids friends- I kid you not) and therefore they receive two lots of gifts on birthdays and Christmas plus the latest contract mobile from (usually) dad do he can stay in touch plus lots of guilt money. Basically you will never be able to compete with these kids so just set a limit and stick to it.

I can honestly say it never occurred to me to try to compete or even compare for that matter with the other kids. I don't remember my kids ever saying "well, so-and-so got ...."

We spend about £20-25 on average for birthday, although it varies somewhat. We are more likely to shop for a particular item for a child's birthday. If it is a £20 item and we find it for £10 or £15, then that is what we spend. I don't believe in running up the tab until they have an "equal amount".

For Christmas we spend a bit more, generally £25-40 perhaps? Mainly because at Christmas we also tend to get things like socks, pajamas, and miscellaneous items like that and they are wrapped and put under the tree. DS2 & DS3 have been too young for much in stockings but this year we will most likely put a few items in their stockings. Not sure what yet. They get so much from family members, it seems silly to overindulge on buying presents they don't need.

daviecol

The fact is when they're young you can choose what to give them and they're happy to receive more or less whatever they get. You should make the most of this time by not being silly and wasting money by being excessive.

When they hit high school it all kicks off and they DO all compare what each other get.
Kids can be very nasty and I don't care what anybody says you can't give your 15 year old daughter a box of crayons for xmas or her life at school would be hell. Don't get me wrong we're not all earning Wayne Roony's wages and there's simply no point in going into debt to try to keep up with the Jones's for xmas.

However being realistic your looking a £150 - £200 for a teenager for xmas and people think I'm tight!

vodooelephant

My friends son's b'day is on boxing day - they make it a special 'day' for him.....

They usally go to the zoo there is loads of kids who's birthday it is) because there isnt loads of reminders its is christmas!!

Last year we joined them my mum isnt bothered about having us 'on' boxing day just having us and the kids for the day between xmas and new year - i got in early and arranged for him to feed the penguins he thought it was fantastic!!

My boys b'day is 1st december... I think i may start having there party's end of november... but xmas stuff has been in the shops since september do there is no escape from it!

System

as a 40something with a dec 25th birthday id say seperate the xmas/birthday gifts .over the years ive had joint birthday/xmas gifts and birthday gifts wrapped in xmas paper , xmas cake with a plastic "happy birthday" next to the xmas decs ! and although it shouldnt bug me IT DOES !.i dont think it matters how much you spend as long as its thought out .

goldrush1984

Both my children are born in December- eldest is xmas day and my baby will be 1 on the 28th- talk about timing!!

With my eldest- 5 this year we generally have xmas in the morning and his birthday around the time he was born- 638pm. We have a little cake and buffet for him and extend the celebrations for a couple of days- we tell him he is super special to have his b/day xmas, his birthday party is usually before his b/day- but with so many others around we will wait till January.

I do spend a fair bit on him too- maybe a guilt thing! Around £175 maybe.
God knows what we will do with my youngest.
I think a joint birthday in June will have to start. They'll be just like the queen!

SingleSue

daviecol wrote: »

Mine are only 2 and 3 but we're trying to set a precedent for the years to come....

Wise words indeed. Mine are 19 & 17 and what you will find is as they get older they will want more and more expensive gifts (pandora charms and playstation consoles no less). So setting a bench mark as early as possible will save you a lot of grief in the years to come.

Add to that the friends they have who's parents have split (sadly virtually all my kids friends- I kid you not) and therefore they receive two lots of gifts on birthdays and Christmas plus the latest contract mobile from (usually) dad do he can stay in touch plus lots of guilt money. Basically you will never be able to compete with these kids so just set a limit and stick to it.

Me and my ex husband discuss their presents for birthday and Christmas and we each spend the same, which is less actually than we had when we were together due to both of us being on limited budgets, something which was not a problem when we were married.

My children (17,14,12) know not to ask for consoles or expensive games as they know they will not get them...if they want them, they have to save up for them. Saying that though, between me and ex husband, we cover an item that they may want very much, as long as the total price is not over £50.

It took a little while for the above to come into operation but we are now (thankfully) working together on situations like this...he even trusted me last month enough to send down the money so I could purchase middle son's birthday present from him locally where it was cheaper.

It also works the other way around, the boys now being of an age where they understand about giving presents wanted to get me things last Christmas but they just couldn't afford what they thought I would want....so I asked for something that came from them personally and cost them nothing, youngest did some artwork for me, middle son composed some music and eldest gave me a certificate promising to make me a cup of tea every morning for a fortnight.

On Christmas morning, I was in tears.....tears of joy at being so loved.

Youngest took it further and then wrote and illustrated a special edition comic for his nan...with her as the main superwoman like character and gave my dad one of his takes on a Lowry paintings.

There were more tears on Christmas morning.....

Luciferswench

My middle DS is a xmas eve baby he'll be 7 this year now hes of school age he has a birthday party 2 weeks before hand for all his school friends and i give him a token gift. Then xmas eve we make a big fuss of him and give him his main present he loves his birthday as he knows when he goes to bed the following day the big guy in the red suit will have been and left presents. He tells everyone he meets when his birthday is. We've been quite lucky no one has made him double up gifts as birthday/xmas all in one. I normally spend about 30/40 pounds at birthdays and um considerably more at xmas