Being bullied at work

Stigy

DKLS wrote: »

I had a similar situation, when I was much younger, constant sniping and digs, she used to do this to everyone, one day I snapped after a nasty comment and vented my spleen in her direction, and took the afternoon off, I came backhe following morning fully expecting to pick up my P45, but she collared me in the kitchen and said she respected me as I was the only person in her career that had stood up to her, from that point she was lovely, bringing in cream cakes for me twice a week and being flexible with requests to leave early etc. She was still an utter cowbag to the rest of the team though.

How were your bowl movements after those cream cakes?

Bennifred

If you find it difficult to directly request him to stop, would you be able to say something along the lines of "Have I done something to upset you, Fred?" in a puzzled way. Then if he says no, you could ask "Well why are you always getting at me/ having a dig then?" He may well deny it, but he couldn't say he wasn't aware, later. I would do it in front of other people, too.

chipmunk

Stigy wrote: »

How were your bowl movements after those cream cakes?

??.........

Lexxx

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Every time this person makes a statement like this, look at your watch, take out your diary and write in what was said, and the date and time thus:

*looks at watch
'Monday, 11:04; states 'he's probably a virgin' then makes 'comedy raised eyebrows at colleague 'dave ransom'.

If you can, say the words that you are writing nice and slow as you write them.

Should stop him in a day or two.

If he asks; tell him you have been advised to record all the personal statements along with times and other colleagues that are 'involved'. If he asks, don't tell him who advised you, but just raise your eyebrows and say 'i could tell you, but I'd have to kill you', smile and get on with your work. ...........

Oh, and do not let your diary out of your sight. Ever.

this is absolutely great advise, i wish i had done this when i was in this position a couple of months ago. This would have really fcuked them right up:D

OUStudent

I think you have been given great advice here and I do hope it all comes to an end for you, in these times this person is a bit stupid to be acting this way when there are probably a hundred people that would take his job overnight.

I have often found office bullies to be like school bullies, if you give it back to them they tend to shut up and leave you alone, sadly they only pick on people they know will not fight back, you could take him outside and give him a good kicking although might not be such a wise idea................

Chin up dont let him get you down, you mention HR have policies on this kind of thing so it really would not do any harm to communicate with someone in HR to at least let them know the situation you are in, they in turn might have a quiet word with your manager who I presume will then "reign in" the big mouth for you

Dont let it get you down, the simpleton is probably thinking in his mind he is only "joking" and may well be gutted if they knew you were feeling this way.

teabelly

Male bullies are just men with with very, very tiny trouser parts. Remember this. If you manage to do nothing to sort them out merely imaging horrible accidents befalling them helps make life with them more bearable

The note taking idea is brilliant and should be done straight away as it serves a record and puts the wind right up them.

http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/index.htm There's lots of good stuff here.

Sambucus_Nigra

teabelly wrote: »

Male bullies are just men with with very, very tiny trouser parts. Remember this. If you manage to do nothing to sort them out merely imaging horrible accidents befalling them helps make life with them more bearable

The note taking idea is brilliant and should be done straight away as it serves a record and puts the wind right up them.

http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/index.htm There's lots of good stuff here.

If you smile and lick the pencil tip before you write it down, it really makes an impact.

dispossessed

I would echo the advice given by other posters. Additionally be aware that (for what it's worth) both Health & Safety at Work legislation and the "Protection from Harrasment act 1997" would both be on your side.

In the first instance I would be inclined to mention it to your 1st line manager / supervisor (and make a note of the fact you have done so in your diary).

In my own case it was the manager who was doing the bullying which made things a tad difficult.

Good Luck

Trevor

DKLS

Stigy wrote: »

How were your bowl movements after those cream cakes?

Bowel movements just fine thanks. Once I stood up to her, she changed into a different person in the way she interacted with me.