He's running away to nigeria

TWEETYPIE_3

Hi, my ex just called (very angry) to say CSA have contacted him by post yesterday to make arrangements to pay. Our son is 3 1/2 yrs old his name is not on the birth cert. as he kept dissappering, he has never disputed parantage (yet) , he has never spent more than two hrs in his company, never offered/given any finnancial support or taken him for day trips/overnight visits. I did not return to work after mat. leave, so I recieve state support. I have applied for a uni. course to start nxt. sept. (NHS funded)
I'm quite worried as to what will happen next as he is registered as self employed (IT stuff) The last time we spoke Nov 09 he was not working & advised me that his hse may be repod. (wanted £6k from me) I also cant really be sure if he actually owns it himself or with someone eles, possibly his sister not sure of her details, as he has told me numerious lies in relation to other children/money/work, apparently Bromley crt allowed him to keep the hse but he had to claim some kind of benifit which I belive pays the interest (not sure of much about the ins & outs, had to switch off as I was shocked by the request for finacial help. he advised me tonght that he has been working but the contract ends very soon & he will be off to Nigeria for 6mnths I understant that Nigeria is part of REMO,does that actually do anything? When he goes what will happen if he dissappears there, can the government stop his travel? I'm worried as its taken since our son was born for CSA to send the letter even though I provided his name, address cont. details & cars reg. ( he lives less than five mins walk away from my old address.

diable

I'd say good riddance to him and never let him back in to the UK.

I do have a friend though in Nigeria whose family was killed by an evil uncle and the only surviving daughter who was sold in to slavery but has now escaped and needs help in liquidating assets worth 250 million, can you help?

TWEETYPIE_3

Not likely!!!!

gordikin

He's gone...next?

TWEETYPIE_3

Dont worry, moved on years ago, I'm concerned because of violent nature.
It's principle, bumped into to him by chance he introduced my son to a sister of the same age (he forgot, he had'nt mentioned yet another child previously). my main concern is how many others a around in the same area (two already full names unknown) its a small world. In 15yrs time would you want your child to bring home a new partner thats also their sibbling

diable

TWEETYPIE wrote: »

Dont worry, moved on years ago, I'm concerned because of violent nature.
It's principle, bumped into to him by chance he introduced my son to a sister of the same age (he forgot, he had'nt mentioned yet another child previously). my main concern is how many others a around in the same area (two already full names unknown) its a small world. In 15yrs time would you want your child to bring home a new partner thats also their sibbling

and? its the norm in some countries for cousin to marry cousin or even sister.........

Kaybenson

diable wrote: »

and? its the norm in some countries for cousin to marry cousin or even sister.........

Yes Ghananian does that but it is illegal/taboo to marry one's relatives in Nigeria.

Kaybenson

@Tweet

What is REMO and CSA?

knithappens

Let him run, if you havenot got anything from him by now, you still wont even with an order in place, my daughters dad is american, I was going to go the Remo route but decided against it, he can explain why in 16 years time

Kimitatsu

TWEETYPIE wrote: »

Hi, my ex just called (very angry) to say CSA have contacted him by post yesterday to make arrangements to pay. Our son is 3 1/2 yrs old his name is not on the birth cert. as he kept dissappering, he has never disputed parantage (yet) , he has never spent more than two hrs in his company, never offered/given any finnancial support or taken him for day trips/overnight visits. I did not return to work after mat. leave, so I recieve state support. I have applied for a uni. course to start nxt. sept. (NHS funded)
I'm quite worried as to what will happen next as he is registered as self employed (IT stuff) The last time we spoke Nov 09 he was not working & advised me that his hse may be repod. (wanted £6k from me) I also cant really be sure if he actually owns it himself or with someone eles, possibly his sister not sure of her details, as he has told me numerious lies in relation to other children/money/work, apparently Bromley crt allowed him to keep the hse but he had to claim some kind of benifit which I belive pays the interest (not sure of much about the ins & outs, had to switch off as I was shocked by the request for finacial help. he advised me tonght that he has been working but the contract ends very soon & he will be off to Nigeria for 6mnths I understant that Nigeria is part of REMO,does that actually do anything? When he goes what will happen if he dissappears there, can the government stop his travel? I'm worried as its taken since our son was born for CSA to send the letter even though I provided his name, address cont. details & cars reg. ( he lives less than five mins walk away from my old address.

You can go down the REMO route, but it is dependant on the court in Nigeria to implement the order. Really it depends on how likely you are to see any money out of him, especially since he disputes parentage already.

With the CSA they need you to provide them with as many details as you can, so all of his addresses, alias names etc, and if you can prove where he is working so much the better.

On the one hand, he may disappear to Nigeria, then come back and get a full time job and so pay you something towards little ones keep, although I would imagine he would also want contact and how do you feel about that?

On the other hand you could just let him go, not chase the paternity test and have a bit of peace and move on. But as you said you will have no knowledge of any of his history either. Only you can make that decision - there are rules on assumed paternity if they refuse to take the test, but I will need to look it up (unless someone else comes along who knows them!)

Please please do NOT give him any money, he sounds like he woulod be back for more if he thought you really had any.

freyanneke_2

I understand it is a matter of principle to get him to provide something for your child. What I don't understand is why you would like to waste your time and energy like that. You could end up with court orders, paternity test and CSA rulings in your favour, but still not receiving any money from this person.