fed up, depressed, etc etc

poorbutrich

sick_of_being_skint wrote:

Dolly, he would never have lent me a penny to pay it back. I cant believe I stayed with him so long. He is self employed and he clears in a month what I owe out!

Oh my God - this all sounds familiar. I went out with a guy for two years who earned in a month more than I earned in a year. I didn't want any financial help from him, but he was always making me drive everywhere, always making me pay for holidays, airport parking, picking up food for him....

You're much better off without someone like this, and you definitely don't need someone who looks through your stuff...You sound very resilient, and YOU WILL get through this. Well done for taking the first steps...

sick_of_being_skint_2

thanks guys.

my parents are divorced and dont talk! they have helped me out, my mum took out a 5k loan to help me move/pay CC off etc...but i still have those debts. my dad has recently helped me out with a lot to so i cant ask either of them for any help. where can i find SOA?

Dolly_Smith

poorbutrich wrote:

Oh my God - this all sounds familiar. I went out with a guy for two years who earned in a month more than I earned in a year. I didn't want any financial help from him, but he was always making me drive everywhere, always making me pay for holidays, airport parking, picking up food for him....

it's no wonder they get so rich is it - sponging off others and hoarding their money for themselves!

LittleL_4

Sounds like you're having a right rotten time of it hun. It's crap feeling crap believe me i know - but take baby steps and make a plan as to how you're gonna get through this.
Why don't you show your mum what you've posted on this site? Or I also think sending her a letter is a good idea too.
You also need to speak to someone about your debt - try CCCs or Payplan. They will contact your creditors for you, explain the situation you're in and you're proposed payments etc. I was a mess until i contacted https://www.cccs.com and feel so much better now.
As for your ex - you're well shot of him, well done for leaving!

L
x

LittleL_4

bwahaha!!! Hope that gave you a laugh - I mean https://www.cccs.co.uk
L

Psykicpup

I'm no expert by a very long way but I would start by prioritising those debts. IMHO I would look to clearing the debt to your mate asap (it was a lovely thing to do but you might need her help again one day so keep her sweet) followed by Council Tax cos they take you to court real quick.Also the credit card cos the longer thats on min payments the more it costs you -Set aside a fiver to pop on the letter to Mum too & try to do that every week/month
I assume as the store card & loan are with agencies they are being sorted so clearing them faster isnt a priority & the old job can wait till you'ved looked into the constructive dismissal thing in detail - you might need to tell them just that too lol

Hope this helps & a big hug from me too
if anyone would do this differently please say so, just going by what I did but i didnt know about this site then & may be well off track - I know I'm still learning!

bobble_hat

sick_of_being_skint wrote:

thanks guys.

my parents are divorced and dont talk! they have helped me out, my mum took out a 5k loan to help me move/pay CC off etc...but i still have those debts. my dad has recently helped me out with a lot to so i cant ask either of them for any help. where can i find SOA?

Hi Sick_of_being_skint :hello:

SouthernScouser has a really good sticky for people new to this thread which details how to fill out an SOA at:
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=107280

Well done for posting and good luck. Be proud of yourself for admitting you need help and seeking it. I'm now living at my Mum's because I sold my flat to get out of debt, she still thinks I've got the profits in the bank, but it didn't quite clear my debts, so I understand how difficult it is to talk to the people closest to you about debt. Writing a letter sounds like a fab idea. I'm moving into a rented room next week so maybe I'll include it in my Thank you letter to my Mum.

lynzpower

hi there
A SOA ,is basically a list of all your incomings, outgoings, debts, APRs.

You can see all you need to know about these in southernscousers sticky- first time posters.

I have loads of suggestions for you, but the first thing you need to know is exactly who you owe what to.

Best of luck, and we'll all be here for you later
Hugs
Lynz
x