fed up, depressed, etc etc

sick_of_being_skint_2

I can't quite believe I am posting a forum about all my problems but reading through some of the posts, you are going to be easier to talk to than family or friends. But, please I dont want sympathy. Every thing that has happened to me has been my own fault.

In February, i left my partner of two years. He is a financial account (!!!) and i came home from work one day to find my credit card statements, bank statements and loan statements sprwaled over my bed. He had been snooping through my things and called me all sorts. Fair enough, I shouldnt have lied to him but he shouldnt have gone through my things.

I packed my things and took my dogs and stayed at a friends. I had a reasonable well paid job and moved into a house rented at £400pcm.

In April, I walked out of my job de to being bullied. The woman concerned was quite high up and my complaints fell on deaf ears.

Now, that's where my problems started. I've recently moved again into another rented house and since April I have done various jobs, bar work and temping - not earning a regular income.

However, i have just started a job this week that goes perm after 3 months. Its £6.50 ph for a 37.5 hour week, plus over time after next week.

I am so ashamed of the mess I have got myself into. I cant sleep at night, I've lost two stone in weight since June and I'm tired of crying. I live on my own and my parents live miles away, but i owe them money too. My mum isnt talking to me and its hard when i do cos she just brings up the money I owe her and we end up rowing. Here's what I owe:

Unpaid Council tax: £480
Credit card £1500
Store card: £400 (already at debt collectors)
Loan: £2800 (at debt collectors, too)
Mum: £5000
Best friend: £200
Old job: £800

I'm crap with money, absolutely crap.

I've tried to get a new loan in the past to consolidate it all but no one will touch me. Please can someone advise on what to do?? Can i go bacnkrupt? Or is an IVA the best way to go? I really really need some help and guidance on this. I'm so depressed all the time and as much as i wish it all to go away, its still there I'm sat here in tears cos I'm fed up and have to get myself out of this rut.

cattie1

I cant really advise you but wanted to give you a hug:grouphug:
It's awful when stuff like this happens and for most of us it is because of unforseen circumstances.
It's worse due to the fact that you don't have your mum to support you too.
good luck I hope people manage to help you on here.(they have lots of good advice)

mountainofdebt

sick_of_being_skint wrote:

I'm crap with money, absolutely crap.

Firstly can you please fill in a membership form as we are (or should that be were?) cr*p with money :rotfl: :rotfl:

Secondly dry those tears......you now need to spend the energy not on cryng but on focusing on getting out of get.

Post all your income and your outgoings, and give us details of all your debt including balances, limits and APRs....I'm sure we can save you ££££s to get out this hole you're in.

as for your mum, would it be an idea to open up to her in a letter? She make not appreciate the whole situation you're in and I'm sure she'd back off (so to speak) if she knew the whole story.

Dolly_Smith

for what it's worth, you did the right thing in ditching the accountant - what kind of man would go snooping through your life rather than try to discuss it with you? If he'd approached it differently he might have been able to help you but you're well rid!

kuohu

You mention that you left your job in April due to bullying, and that complaints fell on deaf ears. Would this be grounds for constructive dismissal, ie effectively being forced out of your job and having to resign? If so, you may have a potential claim against your former employer.

Worksmart link

Directgov Link

I'm not an expert but if this situation does sound like yours then I'm sure there will be people on these boards who can offer expert advice.

sick_of_being_skint_2

thank you so much for the kind word.
Dolly, he would never have lent me a penny to pay it back. I cant believe I stayed with him so long. He is self employed and he clears in a month what I owe out!
Kuohu, i have already looked down that route and I cant afford a solicitor and am not entitled to legal aid! they are a big company so I wouldnt risk taking them on.

I'm going to write my mum a letter, thats a very good idea xxx

oops_a_daisy

Hi there sick of being skint - oh dear you are having a hard time of it but please dont be so hard on yourself. If you look at the sticky post entitled 'first time posters' there is a template for a Statement Of Affairs (SOA) fill in all of the information including apr's and there is always somebody here to look at it and give you advice.
In the meantime :grouphug:

crawley_girl

Hiya

Just wanted to echo what the other's have said. We are all here cos we aren't so great with money.

Welcome to DFW but do post your SOA and some fab people will be along to help you make some savings. :grouphug:

:heartpuls CG :heartpuls

wendym

This site is home to the kindest, most helpful, well-informed people you will ever meet.

They will amaze you with their support and expertise.

I think writing to your mother is a really good idea (I am one). I am sure she will want to help you however she can.

Best of luck, and a hug.

Wx

HairyHandofDartmoor

Don't worry things will get better now that you have joined mse. The advice and support you get here will really make a difference and you will soon feel in control of your debts.

Now I have control of my money my whole life seems better and I have much more confidence. The money problems were always eating away at me before.

Do your soa and the advice will come flooding in.

System

A problem shared is a problem halved. You're in the right place. Can you not tell your parents so you have some support?