What will happen to my son

TR7V8

Now 19 and unemployed and living at home my son got himself into financial difficulty through instant loans at up to 50% a week interest. Last month I paid off all of these but they would not allow me to talk to them about his circumstances.

Since then he has lost his part time job and you guessed it, all the companies that lent him money offered him money as a "good payer", despite promises that he would not borrow again the phone rings every morning and letters through the door demanding money.

Anyone who has been in the situation will know that the interest on fairly small amounts £100-£200 can be £50 a week + so I would guess debts of £500 or more have built up in a month.

As he is 19 I have no way of telling these companies he is unemployed does this not get put on his credit rating for the companies to stop lending, we cannot afford to bail him out again.

Chris

ILW

TR7V8 wrote: »

Now 19 and unemployed and living at home my son got himself into financial difficulty through instant loans at up to 50% a week interest. Last month I paid off all of these but they would not allow me to talk to them about his circumstances.

Since then he has lost his part time job and you guessed it, all the companies that lent him money offered him money as a "good payer", despite promises that he would not borrow again the phone rings every morning and letters through the door demanding money.

Anyone who has been in the situation will know that the interest on fairly small amounts £100-£200 can be £50 a week + so I would guess debts of £500 or more have built up in a month.

As he is 19 I have no way of telling these companies he is unemployed does this not get put on his credit rating for the companies to stop lending, we cannot afford to bail him out again.

Chris

Why does he keep borrowing more if he knows he cannot pay it back?

opinions4u

My approach would be to leave him to it. Just make sure none of the companies have your card details.

If he ends up destroying his credit file for 6 years+ so be it.

You helped like a good parent would, and he threw it back in your face. Let him sort it out for himself this time.

sueeve

He doesn't appear to be very responsible. Has he learnt anything from you bailing him out last time? If you feel that he is really trying to change that's one thing, but if not he must learn that actions have consequences, and tough love means that he may have to find it out the hard way. I rather guess you are giving him bed and board as he is out of work. NOTHING MORE. he should really be giving you something from his benefits towards his keep, so you are being generous in letting him keep that.

redpete

If he can't keep a promise to his parents for more than a month I don't see that a DRO will help much more. It might deal with this month's debts but what's to stop him taking out more loans next month when he fancies a night out with his mates?

The problem has to be dealt with at source, and the problem is your son's attitude to money. Maybe you were not clear enough on the consequences for him if he got into the same situation, regardless you should leave it up to him to sort out his own mess this time otherwise he will always rely on you, benefits, or the fairies at the end of the garden to sort it out for him.

inmypocketnottheirs

Time for tough love I am afraid.

Leave him to it.

one_hot_minute

I agree with Opinions4u. It's hard to sit back and watch our kids balls it up for themselves, but you need to let go of his hand because he isn't learning from your bail outs. These lenders are irresponsible though, lending money to the unemployed.

Let him balls this up. Maybe in a few years time if he meets a nice girl and cant get a mortgage he'll learn that he's made his own bed so now has to lie in it.

opinions4u

one_hot_minute wrote: »

These lenders are irresponsible though, lending money to the unemployed.

While I hate these lenders with a passion, you are making the assumption that he told them he was unemployed when he applied.

I would suggest he obtained the funds fraudulently.

one_hot_minute

opinions4u wrote: »

While I hate these lenders with a passion, you are making the assumption that he told them he was unemployed when he applied.

I would suggest he obtained the funds fraudulently.

I work in Finance and there is a big discussion just now about whose responsibility it is to be the responsible party. And while both parties have a duty of care, the lender is the one who should be obtaining paper proof of any income.

If he provided fake proof of income, then that is fraud. If he said, "yers, I earn eleventy squillion a year" and they dont check that, I dont think that's fraudulent. The lender MUST obtain proof of earning and ability to repay the loan back. In my opinion...

hounslow_boy

TR7V8 wrote: »

Now 19 and unemployed and living at home my son got himself into financial difficulty through instant loans at up to 50% a week interest. Last month I paid off all of these but they would not allow me to talk to them about his circumstances.

Since then he has lost his part time job and you guessed it, all the companies that lent him money offered him money as a "good payer", despite promises that he would not borrow again the phone rings every morning and letters through the door demanding money.

Anyone who has been in the situation will know that the interest on fairly small amounts £100-£200 can be £50 a week + so I would guess debts of £500 or more have built up in a month.

As he is 19 I have no way of telling these companies he is unemployed does this not get put on his credit rating for the companies to stop lending, we cannot afford to bail him out again.

Chris

Firstly as a direct reply to the title of your thread "What will happen to my son?" - nothing will happen to him. He doesn't own a property so can't be repossessed or have a charging order against him, has no savings or other valuable assets that can be claimed, and for the moment the government haven't introduced debtors prisons so he won't go to jail.

Secondly you're already doing as much as you can for him, you're housing and feeding him and even tried to pay of his debts. I have a 19 yo son , I would do the first two for him but wouldn't pay any of his debts unless there was a danger of baseball bat-wielding collectors showing up or him going to prison.

There's not much sense in trying to clear his debts for him: he learns nothing and now you're in a worse financial position. You can only continue to support him if you yourself are beyond needing help.

Respect to you for sticking by him, one day he'll genuinely thank you for it

garth549

It sounds like he could be suffering from depression.

Depression can cause wreckless spending of money you do'nt have. This happened to me 5 or 6 years ago, it was so bad I even fully understood the consequences of what I was doing yet I did'nt care and carried on. I'm just thankful these companies did'nt exist back then or I could have got in a similar mess.