Is this the place for me?

JMV

I have been a member here for a couple of weeks and it took a while for me to get up the courage to post...I have found most members to be enormously helpful and empathetic...
However, I think some people here have forgotten why they might have come here in the first place:

This is a difficult board - many think bankruptcy too easy - and I dare say in some cases it is. Yet others have been through hell, seen family and home torn apart, and its a welcome and deserved release.
I didn't set up MSE to be personally judgemental, but to help people whatever their circumstances. If you have problems with the Bankruptcy laws then the 'Discussion Time' forum is the appropriate place.
This is to help people who are bankrupt rehabilitate their finances - and I personally wish them all the best - whatever their circumstances.
Many people who have gone bankrupt, have had serious debts, have hidden them for a time, been scared to confront them, suffered depression or have even had suicidal thoughts because of them.
So may I caution MoneySavers to err on the side of kindness. The fact bankrupts are here means they're looking for help, guidance and to take charge of their finances - and that in itself is admirable
Please use your knowledge and kindness to help rather than to berate.
If you feel it’s important to point something out that the poster may find negative but needs to understand, then it's not a problem, but do think carefully about your phrasing - people can be very sensitive and nuances may mislead when it’s in an online Forum.

Martin

The above is one of the reasons I joined...but I realise now that some people on here are really just soothing their own egos rather than actually trying to help...

I think I'll find a more friendly forum..but thank you for the help and support some of you have given...

Sunnylooloo

Really sorry to hear you don't feel you have got the help support you were looking for.

I can assure I have found it always friendly and helpful and I don;t think I could have got through a rocky couple of months without the help of support from people here.

As off screen, you will find a real mixture of people and some are more forthright and frank than others.

sorry you feel like you don't want to post anymore
Good luck for the future

JMV

Thank you Sunny, on the contrary I did find the help and support I needed and I don't have a problem with forthright and frank (as long as it works both ways) but I don't expect to be lambasted for expressing a view point and I don't want to sit by and observe other people (who might be more fragile than myself) being 'dismissed' as if they don't matter...

Sorry...am going to get off my high horse now...

confused76

i am sorry you feel like that JMV...i must have missed the posts that have got to you.

please don't let one or two posts push you away...there are many friendly helpful people here

Gemlou26

Try posting on a birth board full of hormonal women you are dealing with kittens here :P

Seriously though please continue to post, I know which post you are referring to and which poster, they do tend to get to the point and are always spot on in their advice, where as I tend to waffle then get to the point eventually or even forget what point I was trying to make I think there is a place for all and I except that I may not always 'get' everyone on the board they all make valuable contributions including your good self.

Hope you haven't been put off.

Sunnylooloo

Just really echo above.... people need help from others who have been there and done it. Like Confused says I don't know what has happened but remember there are many nice people out there and some need your help so please hang around
x

lilibet1

yes please hang around you did an excellent post today for nancy x

JMV

Ihave calmed down a bit - I am a bit sensitive at the moment (as I am sure many of us are at times like this)...I do feel I have a wealth of knowledge that could be really useful here...and it's nice to feel useful at a time when I feel so useless in my personal life ...

I will sleep on it and I really really appreciate the comments...you have certainly reassured me that one bad apple doesn't spoil the whole bunch...or something like that ..

Thank you

curly04

i think there has been a few trolls on the page resently who are to quick to judge because they have never been in the awful situation
ive been in OP position
i got a secured loan :eek: for £30K Paid back £24k in 5 years and when i went BR they said i owed £41k - htf

until someone has been in the situation where they can't afford to live they shouldn't pass judgement

miss_spooky

Hi JMV,

I've a member on this board for about two years now. Approx a year before BR and a year after. I have seen losts of posters come and go, and a good handful who have been on nearly every living minute helping people as much as they can.

Having read through tonight, I think I know what post you're on about and all I can say is that the poster in question has contributed alot of time and expertise towards this board.

Although the question was for views on BR, every person considering BR will be directed to the charities as this is the best sourse of information at this time. They can see you in a one to one situation, go through your paperwork, and give you all the options available to you. BR & IVa's are not the only options. There are things that newbies may not wish to disclose in early days which can lead to incorrect advise from us - this probably wouldn't happen if you went to see the CAB in person, for instance.

Also, remember the a judge will ask if you have received advise, and if you say no & show to be unsure of what you are letting yourself in for, it has been known for a judge to refuse BR until you have sort advise.

True, the poster looked like they came across a bit short. May have just caught them at a bad time. They are usually not like that. Hey, even I've been shi**y to people having a go on here. As a previous poster said it just like real life and things can get misconstrued.

Before you make judgement on people, stay and read their contributions for a while. You'll get to know the personalities of people and also how they type "speak". It makes all the difference.

lilibet1

I havent read throught all of your posts, so dont know what you mean, but please stay, like you said you have lots of valuable expertise to hand so stay and share it. Most of the what i call "experts" here and on this forum everyday and try their hardest to help us all, so stay and over time you too can be one of them! I never will be as all i say is "im sure someone with lots of knowledge will be along soon" but i have my uses!!!!!!!!! XXXXXXXX