Save the Date cards

flea72

tbh save the date cards are a waste of time, because even though you are pre-warning people of when you wedding is, come the time the actual invites are sent out, if someone wants to do something else on that date, they will

i think save the date cards were invented to give brides something to do, in the months between deciding to get married and the actual day. it was so much simpler when you set the date only a few months ahead, rather than years

im dealing with brides at the moment who want to have a fitting for a dress they plan to wear in 2yrs time, when invariably their tastes will have changed by then, and most likely their size too (in some cases the groom has changed too lol)

F

BanburyBride

We are sending save the date cards (free from vistaprint woohoo) as OH is Irish and he has a huuuuuuuuuge family living over there. We know many wont be able to come as they are self employed farmers, unable to travel etc but we would like to give them the chance. On our save the dates we have put mobile numebrs email addresses etc and we are asking people to give an indication of whether they think they will come, not a final answer but at least we will have an idea and can then start thinking about actual numbers and inviting other people we would like but who are not priority over family.

Without save the dates we would have no idea of the number of people coming!

Kildare

We did save the data postcards (from Moo) and magnets (from Vista) just for the day guests. I think they should only go to those people you want there for the whole day, unless you feel like making two types of save the date .

maggie111

flea72 wrote: »

tbh save the date cards are a waste of time, because even though you are pre-warning people of when you wedding is, come the time the actual invites are sent out, if someone wants to do something else on that date, they will

i think save the date cards were invented to give brides something to do, in the months between deciding to get married and the actual day. it was so much simpler when you set the date only a few months ahead, rather than years

im dealing with brides at the moment who want to have a fitting for a dress they plan to wear in 2yrs time, when invariably their tastes will have changed by then, and most likely their size too (in some cases the groom has changed too lol)

F

I completely disagree. Back in the day many years ago families and friends were all closely connected. And in social circles people would have weddings and be considerate of other engagements.

Today as a society we are all so disparate in groups with so many weddings/holidays abroad/christenings/birthdays/mini-breaks and so on to contend with that happen all year round and not just in the summer months. And weddings being such big business make it a "towel on the sun-bed" scenario, each bride booking them earlier and earlier just to make sure they can get a Saturday in peak season.

Brides want to make sure their nearest and dearest can also make the date that costs averagely of £10k upwards so what is the harm of them wanting to book in with their guests as they book in their wedding?

And no, I am not a bride who has sent Save The Dates. Our guests had 2.5 months official notice of our wedding.

PS - it's also nice to give people as much time as possible to save up for a wedding and therefore letting them know as soon as possible is preferable.

sammy_wheeler

maggie dont rise to it- just ignore posts like that- they are called trolls- it happens in forums- people who just say something like that to get a reaction then just sit back and watch (and laugh) at all the sh*t that they have managed to get up.

Jane81

Saying that they're a waste of time in every situation is a bit harsh in my opinion, but I agree that in some instances they're not necessary. When my H2B's cousin got married it was pretty much family only, but as it is a large family (also Irish! ) and they got married in France they wanted to make sure everyone had time to book flights/accommodation etc.

I think it depends on the couple and their families and friends, as well as the kind of wedding they will be having. Obviously in BanburyBride's case save the dates are necessary to help with planning the wedding so she and her H2B have an idea of how many they are catering for. If you are having a small wedding where it will be immediate family and close friends only then you may not need them.

Oh, and I am still in the early stages of planning myself, but I don't think that many brides struggle to find things to do in the months between starting planning and the big day! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

shellsuit

maggie111 wrote: »

I completely disagree. Back in the day many years ago families and friends were all closely connected. And in social circles people would have weddings and be considerate of other engagements.

Today as a society we are all so disparate in groups with so many weddings/holidays abroad/christenings/birthdays/mini-breaks and so on to contend with that happen all year round and not just in the summer months. And weddings being such big business make it a "towel on the sun-bed" scenario, each bride booking them earlier and earlier just to make sure they can get a Saturday in peak season.

Brides want to make sure their nearest and dearest can also make the date that costs averagely of £10k upwards so what is the harm of them wanting to book in with their guests as they book in their wedding?

And no, I am not a bride who has sent Save The Dates. Our guests had 2.5 months official notice of our wedding.

PS - it's also nice to give people as much time as possible to save up for a wedding and therefore letting them know as soon as possible is preferable.

I agree with you maggie.

Also, it's easier for people who may have to book time off work to attend a wedding and for those who may have to travel so they can make arrangements and possibly get it cheaper.



We only sent them to day guests. We didn't want to send them to evening guests incase they got the wrong idea and booked the whole day off work, when they were only going to be invited to the evening.

minerva_windsong

My sister sent them to everyone she particularly wanted to invite who hadn't been told in person or over the phone, mostly old university friends and BIL's family (he's from New Zealand so they needed to know ASAP in order to get the cheapest flights possible).

I think they're worth it if you're getting married at a particularly busy time of year - summer, school holidays and around Christmas - as that way you can hopefully avoid any holidays or Christmas parties etc, or if the wedding is a long way away for the purposes of booking transport/accomodation. However I personally wouldn't send them to evening guests, unless they were people you wanted there but for whatever reason couldn't get to the day do (old family friends for example).

clearing_out_my_pockets

Ordinarily I wouldn't have sent to evening guests, but many of my cousins had previously expected a 'free for all' on the day.

We've sent them to our day guests because we've chosen a bank holiday weekend just before half term next year.

flea72

sammy_wheeler wrote: »

maggie dont rise to it- just ignore posts like that- they are called trolls- it happens in forums- people who just say something like that to get a reaction then just sit back and watch (and laugh) at all the sh*t that they have managed to get up.

i was just saying that save the day invites arent necessary. if you are stressing about who they should be sent to, and in what format, and how soon, blah, blah, then dont put yourself under that pressure, and buy into what other people are doing

the announcement of an engagment is usually warning enough for most people that a wedding is looming, so they know they will have to make arrangements if they want to attend

how did people plan weddings before the invention of save the date cards? oh thats right, they sent out invites. i worked on the assumption that if i invite 100 people, id more or less have 100 people attend. Venues dont need formal numbers until 2wks max beforehand, so by then you would have had all the replies to your official invites, and wouldnt have to be guestimating

yes, i can see the point in letting people who dont live nearby know early, so they can make travel arrangements, but normally id be in contact with those people, and would just mention in passing that this is the date, and suggest possible places they could stay

what happens if you invite someone with a save the date card, they reply yes i will attend and then you have to change your plans and they are no longer invited? someone might take the save the date card as being the official invite and then turn up. i just think they add to the confusion and stress of planning a wedding

are people supposed to respond to a save the date card? seeing as its just a pre-warning, not an actual invite? as a bride, do you then stress over not having replies, and have to do some chasing. which then happens all over again with the official invites

F