Daughter wants to become a vegetarian.

cloudy-day

hngrymummy wrote: »

OP, just one little thing. Make sure that she can face eating a meat meal should the need arise later in life.

We went to an elderly relative-in-law's house. First time I'd met her, and unfortunately the last. She'd gone to a lot of trouble to ensure that she'd got everthing ready to feed us. She knew I was veggie, so she went salad-based with a quiche. She'd picked one out that had a picture of cheese and tomato on the box especially for me. Alas it was quiche lorraine :eek: As far as I was concerned, sparing her feelings was far more important than staying veggie for the day. Had to do the same with some ham sandwiches when I was about 8 at a friend of the family's house. She was about 80 and knew that I didn't like mustard, so I had a plateful done especially for me without mustard. Or maybe I'm just too polite for my own good

It's good for her to know her own mind, as long as she is able to spot when other people's feelings come first.

Totally disagree. I have been veggie for 26 years and have never knowingly eaten meat in that time - nor will I ever.

Really, how difficult is it to read a packet?

Some veggies do it for health reasons, but most (myself included) don't eat meat for moral reasons, which I'm afraid outweighs hurting someone's feelings when they have made a mistake.

Buddingblonde

hngrymummy wrote: »

OP, just one little thing. Make sure that she can face eating a meat meal should the need arise later in life.

We went to an elderly relative-in-law's house. First time I'd met her, and unfortunately the last. She'd gone to a lot of trouble to ensure that she'd got everthing ready to feed us. She knew I was veggie, so she went salad-based with a quiche. She'd picked one out that had a picture of cheese and tomato on the box especially for me. Alas it was quiche lorraine :eek: As far as I was concerned, sparing her feelings was far more important than staying veggie for the day. Had to do the same with some ham sandwiches when I was about 8 at a friend of the family's house. She was about 80 and knew that I didn't like mustard, so I had a plateful done especially for me without mustard. Or maybe I'm just too polite for my own good

It's good for her to know her own mind, as long as she is able to spot when other people's feelings come first.

There is no need to make a fuss about a meat meal - especial like quiche and salad - you just eat the veg! I would never eat meat just to appease someone. I would not be making an issue of it. And I have been to elderly rellies before you have made ham sandwiches for me, I wrapped them in my napkin and took them home. There was no way I would cause a fuss or upset someone who had (mistakenly) misunderstood what I would or wouldnt eat.
Polite is one thing - eating meat is not!

melancholly

Buddingblonde wrote: »

Polite is one thing - eating meat is not!

given how sick some people can get when they eat meat for the first time in years (stomach not used to digesting it!), it might also make for an awkward time for all concerned!

hngrymummy

Kirri wrote: »

Ditto, I'd never eat meat to spare someone else's feelings, I may as well not be veggie in the first place were I to do that!

I was brought up to be polite to other people's feelings and not to hold myself to be more important than them. I'd far rather get on with my elderly in-laws than sit and say to a lovely old lady who's gone to a lot of trouble especially for me "actually you're too stupid to notice that's a meat quiche so I'm going to sit and eat nothing and make you feel awful" I'm really glad I did make the effort to be nice to her, as she died from pneumonia a few months later, and I'd have hated for her only memory of me to be a bad one and my only memory of her to be awkwardness.

I guess that you go to other people's houses and ensure that their cheese, wine, beer, pesto, deserts and food colourings are veggie too?

I guess that's just my opinion though.

minerva_windsong

Try her with different types of veggie 'fake meat'. I was veggie at uni and still try to eat vegetarian food when I can, and I hated Quorn 'chicken' pieces (too salty) but loved the Asda own brand ones. In fact, I would go so far as to say those are the best veggie products - they don't even need defrosting so you can just chuck a handful into whatever you're cooking.

I was also going to suggest vitamins, Boots do one specifically for a vegetarian diet.

ninky_2

i went veggie when i was a teen. i do eat some fish this days.i things to avoid (and easy trap to fall into) are junky meals that are carb and dairy heavy like veggie pizza and eating too many chips to fill up.

egg based meals can be good. omelette is quick and easy and can come with various fillings such as some fried mushrooms or grated cheese. poached or scrambled eggs also quick and easy.

many of the supermarkets do their own meat free ranges of burgers / sausages etc which don't all have the same texture of quorn if she doesn't like that. personally i like quorn sausages and also the cottage pie they do.

would she consider continuing to eat fish? if so fish fingers are easy.

baked beans are also a quick easy meal.

make sure she keeps up her b vits and iron intake. marmite is good for b vits.

i think you should definitely let her have her wish.

we eat a lot of home made soups and stews with pulses but i appreciate this might be quite labour intensive for one person. although you could batch cook and freeze. i'd imagine you need to make the freezer your friend for this one.

ninky_2

hngrymummy wrote: »

I was brought up to be polite to other people's feelings and not to hold myself to be more important than them. I'd far rather get on with my elderly in-laws than sit and say to a lovely old lady who's gone to a lot of trouble especially for me "actually you're too stupid to notice that's a meat quiche so I'm going to sit and eat nothing and make you feel awful" I'm really glad I did make the effort to be nice to her, as she died from pneumonia a few months later, and I'd have hated for her only memory of me to be a bad one and my only memory of her to be awkwardness.

I guess that you go to other people's houses and ensure that their cheese, wine, beer, pesto, deserts and food colourings are veggie too?

I guess that's just my opinion though.

good for you but what if you had an allergy to something they had mistakenly served you? surely you wouldn't risk being polite over a health threatening / life threatening reaction and that could cause just as much embarrassment?

Emmzi

hngrymummy wrote: »

I'd far rather get on with my elderly in-laws than sit and say to a lovely old lady who's gone to a lot of trouble especially for me "actually you're too stupid to notice that's a meat quiche so I'm going to sit and eat nothing and make you feel awful"

You're doing veggie wrong if you think it means you have to phrase things in the most offensive way possible....

Kirri

hngrymummy wrote: »

I was brought up to be polite to other people's feelings and not to hold myself to be more important than them. I'd far rather get on with my elderly in-laws than sit and say to a lovely old lady who's gone to a lot of trouble especially for me "actually you're too stupid to notice that's a meat quiche so I'm going to sit and eat nothing and make you feel awful" I'm really glad I did make the effort to be nice to her, as she died from pneumonia a few months later, and I'd have hated for her only memory of me to be a bad one and my only memory of her to be awkwardness.

I guess that you go to other people's houses and ensure that their cheese, wine, beer, pesto, deserts and food colourings are veggie too?

I guess that's just my opinion though.

I'm not going to turn round to someone and say they are stupid.. it is possible to decline something politely if I can't eat it/don't want it. I'm not putting anyone else's view as more important than mine when I then would have to suffer. It is actually a sickening thought to me to have to eat meat on purpose.

I don't expect people to cater for me, I'd either eat before I go or I'd eat if I was sure it was ok. I don't know anyone who would be offended over what I would or wouldn't eat.

RadoJo

Buddingblonde wrote: »

There is no need to make a fuss about a meat meal - especial like quiche and salad - you just eat the veg! I would never eat meat just to appease someone. I would not be making an issue of it. And I have been to elderly rellies before you have made ham sandwiches for me, I wrapped them in my napkin and took them home. There was no way I would cause a fuss or upset someone who had (mistakenly) misunderstood what I would or wouldnt eat.
Polite is one thing - eating meat is not!

I have done similar in the past to avoid embarrassment, but I have also 'picked around' meat in a meal for the same reason (fortunately my OH is always ready to do the honours when nobody's looking). I consider myself a fairly easy-going pescetarian - I don't mind if my food is touched with a spoon which has touched meat, or even if the two have touched on a plate, so it's not something I worry about particularly although I appreciate others take a stricter stance on this than I do.

Unfortunately, however I am allergic to nuts, and have occasionally found myself in a position (often when on holiday in countries where they have neither vegetarianism or nut allergies as a matter of course) where I have to choose between a nut free meal and a meat free meal. If it comes to a question of whether I will die or not, it's a lot easier to make the decision!

I do think that it's a valid point to make though, depending on the person - if the OP's daughter wants to give up meat for ethical reasons then it's a matter of principle, but if she doesn't like the taste/texture/idea of meat it might just rank alongside eating anything else she doesn't like to be polite. As with everything in life, people have different priorities and degrees of what is acceptable to them, and it won't do the OP any favours to pretend to her daughter that it's always going to be easy.

On a more practical note though - AliasJo, could you post up a list of foods your daughter will definitely eat (and how she prefers them to be cooked) and maybe we could come up with some easy, cheap meal ideas that will make this process a little easier for all of you.