Adoption

emmalt

Hi,

My husband and I are looking to potentially adopt. If we go ahead we will start the process early next year and it will possibly take two years before a child or children are placed with us.

We went to an adoption evening where some adoptive parents gave a speech and one thing stuck in my mind. Take as much time off as you possibly can to be with the children. One regret that adoptive parents always have is that they didn't take enough time off.

Ideally we would both like to take a year off. In order to do this we need to plan ahead and start saving. Our situation is as follows:

• I work and last year didn't quite hit the 40% tax bracket.
• My husband was made redundant recently and is looking for work or potentially setting up a business of his own.
• We do have savings which are offset against our mortgage so no interest earnt.
• My husband has shares but his dividends last year were only about £63 so he is not exactly Rockefeller :rotfl:

I can work out what we need to be able to cover the essential bills for a year. The plan is to save as much as possible to enable us to both give up work for a year. Then one of us will possibly stay at home after that as a full time carer.

As I have been lucky enough never to have had to apply for any benefits since I was about 18 (2 weeks on the dole in the eighties) I wouldn't have a clue what we were entitled to.

What I have found out so far is:

• One of us can claim adoption pay of £124.88 for 39 weeks (still trying to figure out why the first 6 weeks isn't at 90% of your pay like maternity. Seems a little unfair?).
• 2 weeks paternity @ £124.88
• Child benefit dependant on how many children of course

Could we claim child tax credits, income support?

Some may find it a luxury both of us staying at home for 12 months. Please note that children that are put up for adoption have often been neglected and/or abused and as such are insecure. The time we spent with them in the early days is crucial to settling them in and helping them feel secure. I don't want to rely on benefits but if it could make a difference between 6 months at home and 12 months. We will make whatever sacrifices we can in order to have as much money as possible.

Thanks

DX2

Income support no
Child tax credits I would say yes.
Have a quick look here: http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/taxcredits/keep-up-to-date/changes-affect/family-change/maternity-adoption.htm

emmalt

Thanks DX2. That is brilliant.

I should have been able to find that by myself really but sometimes you can't see the wood for the trees.

ShaneUK

I can't answer your questions regarding money - sorry!

However - I wanted to wish you both the best of luck in the whole process - but be prepared for some huge hurdles and even bigger hoops to jump through!

My partner and I were both interested in adoption, but couldn't get anywhere with the Local Authority we were using - basically, we didn't have enough friends to reply on if things went wrong or we needed support. (The example they gave was poor - "what would you do if the car wouldn't start, and you couldn't take X to school"?) As we didn't have sufficient friends to reply on it was deemed a problem! (In reality, if that situation occured, X would walk to school like they would any other day due to location etc!!)

Errata

Your reasons for both of you wanting to not work for the first twelve months are understandable. Perhaps you also need to think about what would happen if at the end of that period: your husband's can't find a job or his SE work is sparse; you can't find another job.

sammyjammy

I wish you the best of luck I just wanted to say that my employer treats adoption leave as they do maternity leave so if you work for a large/good employer then you may be entitled to six months full pay and then SMP after that. It would be helpful if you could have had someone to talk to you about financial arrangements etc maybe worth suggesting to them.

emmalt

ShaneUK wrote: »

I can't answer your questions regarding money - sorry!

However - I wanted to wish you both the best of luck in the whole process - but be prepared for some huge hurdles and even bigger hoops to jump through!

My partner and I were both interested in adoption, but couldn't get anywhere with the Local Authority we were using - basically, we didn't have enough friends to reply on if things went wrong or we needed support. (The example they gave was poor - "what would you do if the car wouldn't start, and you couldn't take X to school"?) As we didn't have sufficient friends to reply on it was deemed a problem! (In reality, if that situation occured, X would walk to school like they would any other day due to location etc!!)

Hi Shane,

Thanks for the support. The example did make me laugh. What would any other parent do?

It does seem you have to jump through a lot of hoops to prove your worth. Some I understand (CRB checks, etc.) but I have been told that they may wish to interview a previous partner because I lived with him. I haven't seen him in about 11 or 12 years!

emmalt

Errata wrote: »

Your reasons for both of you wanting to not work for the first twelve months are understandable. Perhaps you also need to think about what would happen if at the end of that period: your husband's can't find a job or his SE work is sparse; you can't find another job.

Thanks Errata. If needs be, I will go back to my job and my husband will stay at home. I have no objections to him becoming a house husband (he is at the moment).

I am home based a lot of the time so would still have plenty of time with any children.

emmalt

sammyjammy wrote: »

I wish you the best of luck I just wanted to say that my employer treats adoption leave as they do maternity leave so if you work for a large/good employer then you may be entitled to six months full pay and then SMP after that. It would be helpful if you could have had someone to talk to you about financial arrangements etc maybe worth suggesting to them.

Thanks, the problem is that I don't work for a large/good employer :rotfl:

It will be the bare minimum. Believe me.

kiwikaz

Hi,

Good luck with the adoption process.

My OH and I adopted just over 3 years ago. We adopted siblings. A boy and girl aged 3 and 2 respectively.
We were lucky with regards to when the children were placed with us at it coincided with my OH's school summer holidays. I was also made redundant the year before the children being placed with us and, we had expected the process to be a little quicker once we'd been approved. A suitable match took well over a year from that point.
Because of circumstances I'm currently a stay at home mum.
For sure we found that being at home with the children ( or at least one of us ) has certainly helped them settle and form attachment with both of us. I also think that with them being siblings this has helped with their settling in as they've had each other. How well the foster parents prepare the children for being with their " forever parents " also has an impact. We gradually introduced them to extended family and friends too. Don't forget that social services are there too for support and guidance.
Every adoption is unique. Therefore, depending on the age of the children and number of and, their life experiences will have a bearing on how quickly they do settle. Obviously the children you are also willing to adopt too eg those perhaps with mental and physical problems etc. The more exclusions or restrictions you place on the child/children you would be prepared to consider may also have a bearing on how soon a suitable match is found.

With regards to benefits we're currently in receipt of Child Benefit and Child Tax Credit.
In a nutshell it's well worth saving up for regardless of the time you may wish to take off work to help them settle in.

Children are expensive so every little does help !

I have to say I'm soooo glad we've adopted as our children are just great and, it does feel as if they've been with us forever.

Once again all the best . :T

Karen.

emmalt

Kiwikaz,

Thanks for your best wishes and sharing your experience. It will be tough, I am sure, but worth it in the end.

Emma