Struggling with everything - how to cope?

KittyKate

Hi guys, well, I feel a bit daft typing this but here goes, I'm just looking for a bit of advice or understanding, just to be told I'm normal :rotfl:

Today I got sent home from work - I didn't ask to leave, I was told that I looked very ill and that I was to go home and rest. I am 16 weeks pregnant, and yes, on looking in the mirror, I had gone quite grey. I suffered terribly with sickness in the first 12 -14 weeks, sick 20+ times a day, but aside from feeling exhausted I genuinely felt I was getting better.

My hair has started to fall out and go grey (I am 28!) and my nails are peeling off. I take pregnancy supplements and have a healthy diet, my cravings have been fruit, veg and milk of which I have plenty.

I have a very, very stressful office job and this last week my co-managers have been off work and I've had three jobs in one to do. I don't want to get a sick note, but there is no other job I can do. I sleep 10pm - 8am but I do have fretful nights with stomach pain, midwife says it's the muscles stretching.

I just feel like everything's getting on top of me. My husband is incredibly supportive but I feel terrible that I'm not 'pulling my weight'. He wants me to take a week off, minimum, to rest.

I don't know what to do...I really didn't want to use 'the pregnancy card' but I just can't work out whether I am just stressed in my job or it's my pregnancy that's making me so sick. I am normally a workaholic and I feel a bit guilty.

pixelation

Hi KittyKate,
Sometimes we have to play the "I am sick" card, pregnant or not. It sounds like to you need to rest and be good to yourself and your baby. The work will wait, your health will not.

Tish_P

Poor you! But think about it - if you're normally a workaholic, and you looked bad enough to get sent home, nobody is going to suspect you of skiving! Of course it is normal to have all these worries, but you really need to take the advice of those who love you and put your health first. What's the worst that could happen if you took a week off?

Savvy_Sue

Hi Kitty, have a hug.

Now, stop feeling guilty, and think about what and who is most important here.

Is your job more important than your baby? No. (At least I hope not.)

Is your job more important than your health? ditto.

Is ANYTHING more important right now than your baby and your health? No?

And thank goodness that your colleagues feel the same way, or they wouldn't have noticed and sent you home!

If you're not due to see your midwife or GP within the next week, make an appointment and get thoroughly checked over. Some of us 'bloom' in the middle trimester, but not everyone does, and there may be something else going on. Meanwhile, get your head down and REST! And STOP FEELING GUILTY ABOUT IT!

annakat99

Listen to your body!

Chakani

I'm with your husband - you can't be doing yourself any good by doing too much. Early pregnancy (and yes, 16 weeks is still early pregnancy when it comes down to being tired) is draining and exhausting. You are growing a whole new human being after all.

Take some time off, have a chat with your GP or midwife to be sure there's nothing else going on. You won't be doing yourself, your baby or your job any favours by driving yourself into the ground.

nzmegs

I also suffered with terrible sickness with both my pregnancies and couldn't work at all - so you have done very well to get this far. Have you had your iron levels checked? I ended up with anemia due to being sick so often and had to have supplements (in addition to the normal ones). Iron deficiency can lead to extreme exhaustion, feeling dizzy, seeing "stars" and other visual disturbances. I remember I walked to my midwife visit and she told me my iron levels were so low she was amazed i had made it that far.

I also took medication for nausea after 12 weeks which i took until about 30 weeks. this all helped but I just am not good at being pregnant.

However the good news is that i was good at giving birth and that went like clockwork. I have heard that being ill is often a good sign as well. your hormones are doing what they should.

Don't feel guilty. Askl for some tests while you are off to make sure you are getting everything you need and above all, rest.

Ex-Spendaholic

Go and get a sickline and get out of there for a few weeks. I'm 34 weeks now and for 3 months I did my own job plus 2 others plus my boss was rarely there either. As a result I was coming home every night good for nothing. I've now had 3 weeks off as my body simply couldn't take it any more.

You have to look after yourself as no-one else will thats for sure.

KittyKate

Thanks for all your replies. I am now having a lie on the bed, but I still maintain it feels odd (I usually work 9am - 17.15). Come to think of it, on the days my hubby doesn't drop me off I usually walk to work, a nice 20 min stroll with my laptop bag but I can't manage the walk any more and they've even given me a smaller laptop so I'm not doing any heavy lifting. So I had noticed that I can't do as much (the one day I tried to walk home, I had to have 3 rests in bus stops )

I am seeing the midwife on Wednesday so I will ask her about my iron levels etc, because I am getting dizzy to the point of bumping into things, even in my own home, I thought it was just tiredness but my mum is anaemic and needed iron injections when expecting me, so I'd better get it checked. Since I can't have a few pints of Guinness :rotfl:

Thanks guys - I feel a bit more human now. I always thought I would be wonder woman in pregnancy, it's a bit of a shock to find I am not :rotfl:best laid plans, eh!!

Chakani

I think it takes everyone by surprise - it's not just like being yourself, but with a fat tummy, is it! That's how I expected it to be the first time, I think.

PS, don't expect yourself to be wonder woman after the birth either - the ones who make it look like they are, are pretending :rotfl:

And come and join the fatties on the pregnancy thread for a moan too, it helps to know you're not the only one, and there are a couple on there who have had terrible sickness, who will understand exactly how it feels.

Vaila

take some time off, have a pamper day ie maybe go the hairdressers have a nice bath, long walk, read a book whatever just some time for you to relax, rather than burning the candle at both ends