The walls are closing in and its getting a bit scary

jobeyonekenobi

Hello all, lovely to talk to everyone - its my first thread on here, but I have been a long time lurker, and owuld just like to say that the suppoort that everyone shows anyone who comes on here with a problem is heart warming.

I have a dilema and will be brief.

I broke up with my partner a year ago and we had a house. For one reason or another, we didn't get round to putting it on the market until about 3-4 months ago.

The first estate agent was pretty bad and we didn't have any result, so I moved estate agents. That was 2 weeks ago and so far viewings seem to be going good.

So where is the financial slant on all of this I hear you ask?

Last night things came to a real head with me and my ex. I had someone else around who has become quite a large part of my life, and my mum is staying up for the week (check that I am ok and such like).
Well, the ex ended up going absolutely mad and saying that I shouldn't be having people in her home (bearing in mind that it is half mine I believe).
Long story short, I got a text last night and one again this morning saying that the ex was going to stop paying any and all bills (she currently pays half so that when this place is sold she is entitled to half of the profits) which currently amounts to £500 a month in the joint account (which she wants to close).

To be honest, I am bricking it, because I don't have a clue where I stand. If she stops paying her half of the bills where does that leave me legally? I mean, does she still have the right to half of the property (bearing in mind that both of our names are on the mortgage). The mortgage is up for renewal in two months time anyway....I just don't know what to do next.

Am off to CAB quite soon to see what they say.

Wish me luck, and it helps that people are here just to listen (read). Thankyou

lynzpower

hi there mate

I take it she is stil living at the property?

If she is not paying her half of the bills one thing you COULD do is to knock up an agreement, that she will recieve a deduction out of her share of the proceeds of the property sale if she refuses to pay her half. Otherwise you will take her to the small claims court for half. really depends on how legal you want to take it.

I suggest you open new bank account today. All the bills could come out of this. For example Smile will give you a 500 OD, interest free, so that might be a bit of breathing space for you in the interim.

Meanwhile, have you done an SOA, maybe theres some vutbacks you could make to help you get by?

Lynz
x

CLAPTON

can you clarify the situation a little

are you both living in the house? if not what is the situation?
was the decision to delay selling the house until now a mutual one?

whatever the situation it would be best to try to resolve the matter in a friendly way without getting legal issues get in the way. the only winners are likely to be solicitors if you can't resolve this between yourselves.

perhaps if you explained a bit more about the current arrangements it might be possible to offer some more ideas.

tyllwyd

If she stops paying half her bills, I guess that the mortgage will fall into arrears ... and since her name is on the mortgage that will affect her credit rating as much as yours. Without threatening her, she might not have thought of that aspect.

It seems pretty obvious that the best thing for both of you will be to get the house sold asap and to try to keep things civil until you can do that. Have you got a mutual friend who might be willing to talk to her and try to persaude her that it is in her interest as much as yours to keep things going until the house is sold?

HokeyCokey_3

To be honest, I sympathise with your ex. Fair enough the house is half yours, but it is half hers too, and I expect she still has a lot of her personal items around the house. Correct me if I'm wrong.

I think in situations like this, things can be blown out of proportion especially if the split wasn't amicable. I think until you both sell up and go your seperate ways, you both should tread more carefully. Don't just assume things, you are basically sharing a house with another person who isn't strictly part of your life anymore, and the most respectful thing, would have been to talk to her about having your guests round and to of made sure she was okay with it. It's not just half the mortgage she is paying, it's half the bills!

She is liable for half the mortgage and she is probably fully aware of the implications of not paying. I expect she was just letting off some steam. Perhaps this would all be sorted out just by apologising for not talking to her about having your guests over.

Good luck (and sorry if this was a bit harsh)

Cokes x

jobeyonekenobi

Hello everyone, thankyou for all your responses. ~I have already typed out a lengthy diatribe in the 'quick reply' box, and then promptly lost the lot.
A tad annoying but perseverance is key!

Have gone to CAB, the mortgage people and 3 solicitors and a bookshop or two today to try and make head or tails of the situation.

Have an appointment tomorrow with a solicitor to see where I stand.

My partner and I broke up a little over a year ago, relativley ammicably I thought, but the house did not go on the market for various reasons (work needed doing etc) until a little while ago.
The issue that my ex has is that I should not be bringing people back to the house. I have tried to sort out some kind of schedule/understanding whereby I tell her when someone is around and maybe get every other weekend. The reason for this is that my ex has been cohabiting with her boyfriend for basically a year, and comes back around 3 times a week to gather clothes/wash clothes and sometimes eat.
I honestly did not believe that I would be stepping on anyones toes by having someone round. I figured that I would have absolutely no problem with my ex bringing someone round - after all, the property is half owned by her!
I'm afraid though that last night did seem to be the final straw, and its a bit of a git that I am still 100% liable for making the payments even if my ex has decided not to pay. And it does seem that as her name is also on the deeds, she still ownes half of the property and if she so wants can block any offer to buy this place from going through.

I'll see what the solicitor has to say tomorrow and go from there I guess.

Once again, thankyou for the replys, they are much appreciated.

ChrissieI

jobeyonekenobi wrote:

The reason for this is that my ex has been cohabiting with her boyfriend for basically a year, and comes back around 3 times a week to gather clothes/wash clothes and sometimes eat.
I honestly did not believe that I would be stepping on anyones toes by having someone round.

I think you have every right to have anyone you want to stay. Looks to me like your ex girlfriend wants to have the best of both worlds. Staying with her new partner when it suits and coming back to check up on you every few days.
The best thing you can do is to push the house sell through as quickley as possible so you can move on with your life.
Good luck I don't think your ex is going to make this easy for you.

ChrissieI

As you now have the house on the market maybe you could ask your ex to start moving her belongings to her new partners house. That way she will have less reason to visit and she will have to start packing soon if she is serious about the house sale. Her reaction should give you a clue as to if she isready to move on.

Dr.Shoe_2

To be honest I'm wondering why you're making her pay the bills when she's not really living there?

Yes I understand that she comes back a couple of times a week and this is wrong too. The arrangement you should have is that you pay all the utilities and she just pays half the mortgage until the house is sold, and in return, she removes all her stuff and stays away. You say that you have a new girlfriend who stays for extended periods- why not ask her to take over a share of utilities instead, even if it's a small percentage?

You may think that your ex is behaving unreasonably but I have to say that you are expecting her to subsidise your lifestyle.

HokeyCokey_3

Have you considered moving out yourself and emptying the property?

The estate agents may be able to sell it quicker, if they can bring people straight round to see it.

ChrissieI

HokeyCokey wrote:

Have you considered moving out yourself and emptying the property?

The estate agents may be able to sell it quicker, if they can bring people straight round to see it.

This sounds like a good idea to me