Children helping parents get out of debt

katu

I had to help my family out when they had no money, trouble was that it wasn't always for essential things like food.
Now they have gone down the IVA route and I owe in excess of £25,000 and struggling and no doubt going to end up having to enter into a DMP myself.

Tasha-Debt, I pay no board to my mum but it is because I have no spare money left over at all and it's not like I haven't contributed
I didn't go out everynight, got my own car, didn't go out on mega shopping trips I wear clothes that are about 10 years old!

Yes families should stick together but my family didn't help me out it was always the other way round. When I said no because I was at the limit .......................

themull1

i would always help my parents with regards to care homes etc,although mine are well off through saving their money but i would begrudge a parent that was really lax with money, running up huge bills and then expecting their son/daughter to pay for it because they couldn't afford to.

kezlou

I think families / friens need to stick together, especially now.
If my grandparents asked then fair enough straight away. They brought me up and i was expected to contribute at £10 a week towards bills etc when i was 13. I moved out at 16 financially sound. Since helping family out its gone down the pan.

But i myself will not be helping my mother out, not after what she's done. Over the years i have paid well over £3000 worth of debt for her, whilst getting myself in debt doing it. Which i'm still paying off now :mad:.
She has even got loans in MY name without my knowledge, which i've then paid, stupidly.

I found out last week, she got another loan out, now the last loan she had i paid £600 off with my credit card as she couldn't afford to pay it as they were going to take her to court. I couldn't allow it to happen, so i paid for her, now she's gone and done it again. My words "You've wiped me clean, the banks empty there is literally no more money". She hasn't spoken to me since.

Not nice but hey i'll help people in everyway in can, i'm owed money from all over but i know what kind of financial pressures my friends are under so i never do. So now instead of finance i provide food and money on the gas / leccy that way i know its not going on booze, cards or fags, in my mothers case anyway.

Yes i am a hard nosed beatch but they's only so much debt you can pay off for someone.

barefootlinzi

Its a tricky one...we recently helped out my in laws because my fil needed money to pay for a solicitor or he would have lost his licence and as a private hire driver, his job. we got a loan and they are paying it back (well, they will in the new year). i believe that families help each other out, and i know they would do the same for us if we needed them to. but on the other hand, my grandparents were bled dry by my uncle and his business - they gave him a loan, the company got in trouble, they threw more and more money at him until the re mortgaged their house, then the company went bankrupt and they lost their house. now, he still complains he doesnt have enough money to feed his family and they empty their bank and give him their pension. so, in this case i think they should have thought of them selves (i know the wrong way round from the question but its still money troubles within family)

bluejeans53

Hiya, I have helped my mum out financially, when i had it and she has helped me. My daughter has helped me. Very level headed and organized girl :T. She was very poorly for 6 month, nearly lossed her, travel 20 mile a day after a 8 hour shift to hospital for 4 weeks, until she was moved nearer home. We all there for each other, regardless of situation. I have always been U.S with money, told my DD I was On this site, now she come on too, too get all the money saving tips and is very happy I am now getting sorted but still tells me she is there for me. She has offered to clear everything for me and pay her. But I refused, doing it myself and the struggle, will make me stronger and mor money savvy.

neneromanova

I would help my parents out in a heartbeat...can't say the same about my soon to be in laws though.

My feelings behind this are because my parents have worked their bums off through life, taking jobs here there and everywhere, mortgaging themsleves to the hilt and now they are very comfy and proud of themsleves.

My In laws on the otherhand had a house at one point, then couldn't afford to pay it anymore as they had started to run up debts elsewhere. Now they live in rented accommodation, his mum doesn't work as "she's ill", his father works 6 days a week so they can live, they have mounds of debt which they have only just started taking care of since my OH said what they should do, yet they can still afford to go on 2 week holidays and always buy stupid little things my kids don't need. Oh and the best bit is they are waiting for his mums parents to die so they either get some money for a house or get to move into their house!

ghostmadlittlemiss

I recently lent my dad £500 to buy a cheap little car as he had no other transport for long distance travel (he has a van from work, which he can't take out of the local area, and a campervan that's in for repair after someone ran into the back of it) and I don't regret it at all, even though I'm hardly well off. He lets me stay at his house rent free when I go home, doesn't charge me for all the stuff that's been left there and has helped me move house 3 times, at his own expense, so I'm still very much in his debt there. Families help each other out.
Kayleigh

barbiedoll

My mum was a single parent who brought up three children on her own. She always worked, often two or three different part-time jobs, she always paid her way and had an absolute horror of debt and owing anyone anything. (My dad was the complete opposite and left her with loads of HP debts for furniture, tv's etc etc.) Although she doesn't know the full extent of our money worries, she knows that we've been struggling because of reduced hours at work and so on. We've not been able to afford to give her money as such but we have taken her out for day trips, we take bits of shopping over to her, pay her vet bills and do what we can, especially now that she's a pensioner. When I saw her last week, she showed me a savings stamp card that she has been collecting from our local supermarket, so that we will have a few quid extra at Christmas. I always cook Christmas dinner for the family and she knows that this year we will struggle to pay for it. But now, I have £50 to put towards the extra food that I have to buy, all thanks to her. Which did make me cry a bit when I got home. (I have been buying the saving stamps too so we will all be able to have a good scoff at Christmas this year, plus we have three family birthdays just afterwards. I may even be able to stretch to a party too :T)

isy1011

Golly they sound like a right pair of losers nene!

Vaila

i agree that children should help there parents out, at any age even say being 12 and going without toys, trips, snacks for a while so the parents can save a bit more, i mean unless your parents have been absoloute ba-tards to you then really you should help them out as much as you can, i wish my older sister had this mentallity though, my dad has helped her move house etc lent her a tenner here and there but she seems to think she is entitled to this, hmm