benefits help to get a family back together

razor1979

i dont know if this is the right forum but i need some advice

me and my wife seperated back in april this year and i moved from northern ireland back to my parents house in kent where i am originally from i live at my parents house with my eldest daughter who is 13 im currently on ESA contribution based and i also get child tax credit and child benefit

after going through what seems a long process for custody for my eldest daughter me and my seperated wife have started to talk again and now she wants to return back to kent with my 2 other children aged 10 and 2 to try to get the family back together get what ever councilling we can and try to get back together she is currently on income support, child benefit and child tax credit.

we want to take things slowly with her moving back here and getting her own place and then hopefully build the friendship up and then hopefully we will move back in together and start a fresh as we both feel 16 years together and 5 years of marriage is a lot to throw away

the problem we have with us both being on benefits we cant afford for her to move back here as she also has all the furniture and most of the belongings that we built up over the years

it would be easier for me and my daughter to move back to northern ireland but the problem with that is the extra support we need and can get from family are based here in kent and i think with out that we will have a harder time also the fact my daughter is sitting some of her GCSE this year i dont want that to hinda her

i dont know where i can turn to for help with the cost to move her back, i mean i dont mind hiring a van driving over there and bring everything back i just cant afford it also there is the problem with rent in advance and deposits for a new house here for them

i guess im just hoping there is some form of help out there to reunit a family otherwise this is going to end in a divorce and the children not getting to see each other and at the end of the day this is not good for any of us

i spoke to the social fund to see if i can get some form of crisis loan and they told me that where my ESA had been messed about with in the past im up to the limit the same for my wife when we split up, i know i cant get a budgeting loan as im on contribution based ESA and have been for approx 30 weeks now

i am going to call social services in the morning to see if there is any way they can help but i thought i would ask on here

many thanks in advance

welshmoneylover

razor1979 wrote: »

i dont know if this is the right forum but i need some advice

me and my wife seperated back in april this year and i moved from northern ireland back to my parents house in kent where i am originally from i live at my parents house with my eldest daughter who is 13 im currently on ESA contribution based and i also get child tax credit and child benefit

after going through what seems a long process for custody for my eldest daughter me and my seperated wife have started to talk again and now she wants to return back to kent with my 2 other children aged 10 and 2 to try to get the family back together get what ever councilling we can and try to get back together she is currently on income support, child benefit and child tax credit.

we want to take things slowly with her moving back here and getting her own place and then hopefully build the friendship up and then hopefully we will move back in together and start a fresh as we both feel 16 years together and 5 years of marriage is a lot to throw away

the problem we have with us both being on benefits we cant afford for her to move back here as she also has all the furniture and most of the belongings that we built up over the years

it would be easier for me and my daughter to move back to northern ireland but the problem with that is the extra support we need and can get from family are based here in kent and i think with out that we will have a harder time also the fact my daughter is sitting some of her GCSE this year i dont want that to hinda her

i dont know where i can turn to for help with the cost to move her back, i mean i dont mind hiring a van driving over there and bring everything back i just cant afford it also there is the problem with rent in advance and deposits for a new house here for them

i guess im just hoping there is some form of help out there to reunit a family otherwise this is going to end in a divorce and the children not getting to see each other and at the end of the day this is not good for any of us

i spoke to the social fund to see if i can get some form of crisis loan and they told me that where my ESA had been messed about with in the past im up to the limit the same for my wife when we split up, i know i cant get a budgeting loan as im on contribution based ESA and have been for approx 30 weeks now

i am going to call social services in the morning to see if there is any way they can help but i thought i would ask on here

many thanks in advance

Can you or your wife not find work and fund it yourselves?

I don't think you're going to get much help from the taxpayer.

razor1979

thanks for the great comments but you no nothing about me my dad is on disabillity living allowance due to epilepsy and if it wasnt for his age he would have been recomended for brain surgery to try to fix it but it has got to the point where he has approx 30-40 convolutions per month so he is not in a position to help me

as for me i have worked my whole life and only came out of work due to 3 prolapsed discs in my back which i to am awaiting to see a surgeon then i will be more than happy to go back to work

unfortunutly due to me being off work for a long time i had to live on savings until they ran out then i went onto ESA which is something im no proud of but i have no other way to live until i can get the surgery

as for not getting much help, financial or sympathetic, from the taxpayer i have been a tax payer all my life and this is only the first time i have been out of work since the age of 16 i have worked and done jobs i have hated just to put food on the table so maybe yes i thought there may be some help out there after all i have paid tax all my life up till now

welshmoneylover

razor1979 wrote: »

thanks for the great comments but you no nothing about me my dad is on disabillity living allowance due to epilepsy and if it wasnt for his age he would have been recomended for brain surgery to try to fix it but it has got to the point where he has approx 30-40 convolutions per month so he is not in a position to help me

as for me i have worked my whole life and only came out of work due to 3 prolapsed discs in my back which i to am awaiting to see a surgeon then i will be more than happy to go back to work

unfortunutly due to me being off work for a long time i had to live on savings until they ran out then i went onto ESA which is something im no proud of but i have no other way to live until i can get the surgery

as for not getting much help, financial or sympathetic, from the taxpayer i have been a tax payer all my life and this is only the first time i have been out of work since the age of 16 i have worked and done jobs i have hated just to put food on the table so maybe yes i thought there may be some help out there after all i have paid tax all my life up till now

And your point is..?

Besides it is highly unlikely that you will be given or lent any money to fund the move.

The best you can probably hope for is to borrow the money privately from friends or family. It may not be the news you wanted to hear but times are hard for many people right now.

razor1979

as you say times are hard and i have already exhausted all the options of borrowing for friends and family the only person i know who has the money is my wifes dad who lives in ireland and he doesnt want his daughter to move back to kent so wont help her

welshmoneylover

razor1979 wrote: »

as you say times are hard and i have already exhausted all the options of borrowing for friends and family the only person i know who has the money is my wifes dad who lives in ireland and he doesnt want his daughter to move back to kent so wont help her

Seems your a bit stuffed then. Good luck to your daughter doing her GCSE's.

Just an afterthought, can u move back but leave your daughter behind so she can continue with her education?

knithappens

Apart from the social fund , I dont think you have many more options I am afraid. Sorry I cannot be of much more help.

The only other opton is to maybe put off the move for a few months to save a little or sell some of the household stuff back home or some extra cash, plu sit will make moving a little easier.

healy

razor1979 wrote: »

thanks for the great comments but you no nothing about me my dad is on disabillity living allowance due to epilepsy and if it wasnt for his age he would have been recomended for brain surgery to try to fix it but it has got to the point where he has approx 30-40 convolutions per month so he is not in a position to help me

as for me i have worked my whole life and only came out of work due to 3 prolapsed discs in my back which i to am awaiting to see a surgeon then i will be more than happy to go back to work

unfortunutly due to me being off work for a long time i had to live on savings until they ran out then i went onto ESA which is something im no proud of but i have no other way to live until i can get the surgery

as for not getting much help, financial or sympathetic, from the taxpayer i have been a tax payer all my life and this is only the first time i have been out of work since the age of 16 i have worked and done jobs i have hated just to put food on the table so maybe yes i thought there may be some help out there after all i have paid tax all my life up till now

You keep saying you have paid tax "all my life" but if the 1979 in your name is your year of birth that only makes you 31!

Oldernotwiser

I would move back to NI where the rest of your family live and all your household goods are. The fact that your daughter is only 13 and has been living here with you for a just a couple of months makes the idea of a move being disruptive to her education a pretty poor argument.

Oldernotwiser

razor1979 wrote: »

as for me i have worked my whole life and only came out of work due to 3 prolapsed discs in my back which i to am awaiting to see a surgeon then i will be more than happy to go back to work

unfortunutly due to me being off work for a long time i had to live on savings until they ran out then i went onto ESA which is something im no proud of but i have no other way to live until i can get the surgery

None of this seems to match what you posted in March of this year,

"i currently work for local goverment, and have been suspended on full pay since 19th Feb, i was accused of removing a toner cartridge which yes i hold my hands up to this and it was my every intention of replacing it, this mater has been sent to the police but as of yet i have not heard a word from them and according to a solictior i may never not as they got the toner back and was only worth about £65. yes i no this was wrong and i will hold my hands up to this "

beth58_2

I don't think you'll get any help but there are some charaties that you may be able to apply to for grants. You'd have to google them however I don't think you'll have much success for the following reasons.

the problem we have with us both being on benefits we cant afford for her to move back here as she also has all the furniture and most of the belongings that we built up over the years

Surely the simple answer if for you to go back to Ireland

it would be easier for me and my daughter to move back to northern ireland but the problem with that is the extra support we need and can get from family

Why do you need so much support? Lots of ppl break-up then reconsider and your daughter already has friends there.

i mean i dont mind hiring a van driving over there and bring everything back i just cant afford it also there is the problem with rent in advance and deposits for a new house here for them

I wonder how you'd manage to drive to Ireland with such a bad back your unable to work however, you would be able to drive a van to Ireland and move furniture? Hmmmm

I wouldn't mention that to anyone or you'll get NO sympathy or help from anyone.

I can't walk very well on a normal day and unable to even stand when my back seizes up, never mind drive to Ireland. But good luck with your marrange.