How to provide for my wife and child?

RAS

here is the info on charging orders, it only works for joint orders https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/1839539 if the CO is worded in a particular way.

deepintrouble

Thanks for the imput, My ex doesn't want the house either so the chances of her buying me out are less than zero!

So if a creditor gets a chrging order, then my house has to cover both this and the mortgage, is that right? i.e 140k house thats worth 130k plus 10k charging order equals having to sell for 150k? Crikey!

I can see the merit in renting, but the wife is really dead set against it at present, she can't see how that would be providing a "secure family home" ror our child. Plus she already has a deposit which came from the profit she made when she sold her house. It isn't much but its just enough.

Part of me thinks it might be best just to let her buy somewhere for us, pay my contribution to the new mortgage and try to stay "off the radar" for a year or two. Then when the creditors do come knocking, just go BR. I know this is a crazy idea but thats just about all I've got left at present, I spend most nights awake worrying about how its all going to turn out.

RAS

deepintrouble wrote: »

So if a creditor gets a chrging order, then my house has to cover both this and the mortgage, is that right? i.e 140k house thats worth 130k plus 10k charging order equals having to sell for 150k? Crikey!

No, you will not be able to sell the house for more just because there is a charging order on it.

House worth £130K with £140K mortgage = 10K negative equity.

House worth £130 with £140K mortgage and £10K charging order= £20K negative equity that you have to clear before the mortgage company will allow you to sell.

You ex would be wise to let you sell at negative equity now rather than risk the situation getting even worse. And if you are not listed on the deeds for the next house, they are less likely to come for the CO in the first place.

littlesue

i agree with the saver, renting isnt as bad as you think.We sold our house before it was taken from us and although we were devastated we couldnt provide a nest egg for our children it was the right move.We made nothing on it but we are paying less than our mortgage and managed to pay extra to our creditors and we'll be debt free sooner than what we thought. Being a family is whats important whether you live in rented or in bought it doesnt really matter. Having a mortgage is what got us in this mess in the first place i woudnt go back to it for anything. Good luck with the baby.

hounslow_boy

deepintrouble wrote: »

Thanks for the imput, My ex doesn't want the house either so the chances of her buying me out are less than zero!

I can see the merit in renting, but the wife is really dead set against it at present, she can't see how that would be providing a "secure family home" ror our child. Plus she already has a deposit which came from the profit she made when she sold her house. It isn't much but its just enough.

Please try to get your wife to understand that a "secure family home" is anything but secure - it's not your home at all till you finish paying off the mortgage in 25 years, and meeting mortgage payments each month for 25 years is going to get increasingly difficult - offshoring, outsourcing, cheap immigrant labour, austerity programs, all mean rising unemployment.

The biggest security you and your partner have is your commitment to each other, through thick and thin. All else is just stuff.

Cloudy456

I totally agree with the above - why everyone in this country seems so obsessed about buying property is slightly beyond me. Without wanting to sound harsh, you really have no right to expect that you can buy a property given that you are very heavily in debt. Clearing that debt is step one; everything else comes later. You say your wife wants to buy to provide a secure family home...well where's the security in buying a property you cannot afford, being at the mercy of the banks and more than likely ending up in a worse position in the long run.

Being together in a happy and stable relationship with your child is the number one priority, and surely you would all be far happier to clear this mess up and move on with a clean slate, even if that does mean renting. Your have years and years to worry about providing an inheritance for your children - surely the best thing you can do now is wipe the slate clean and move on together without this worry hanging over you? I would seriously add this option to your list!

You sound like a caring partner and father, and I totally understand why you are both under the impression that buying is the best way, but your present home ownership situation is hardly providing you with security is it? Contrary to popular belief, house prices do not inevitably rise, they can also go the other way as you have found out, and there's nothing secure about finding yourself in that situation.

Best of luck whatever you decide.

saltnvinegar

Hi deepintrouble

I think your biggest problem at the moment is you are worrying (but I understand why you are worrying) about things that are almost completely out of your control.

As you have very little control over events, with a baby on the way, personally I would be focusing on that really happy event.

I know its easier said than done but maybe if you can let go a little of worrying about the things you can't control and looking at what you can control then a new perspective may help you make a decision.

Example - Your wife says she wants a "secure family home".

Think about what that means exactly, not just to you, but also to your child. Your child isn't going to care one fig leaf whether the home he/she is living in is mortgaged/rented.

To a child a "secure family home" is where they are surrounded by the people who love them. Nothing more.

I know what your wife means when she says "secure" but does a house and a mortgage really offer that? Really? There are (unfortunately) plenty of children out there whose parents have their own home or even own it outright, who do not feel secure in that home.

Please don't take the above as a personal attack it really isn't, but I think maybe a solution to your problem is to review the way you're looking at things.

Regards your comments below my thoughts are..

deepintrouble wrote: »

So here are my options as I see it (this is the bit I need opinions on).

1. Stay as we are and hope the house doesn’t sell, the creditors don’t play up and the ex wife stays out of our hair. I really don’t need CCJ’s, bailiffs etc with a new baby.

OK. Say the house doesn't sell. If the ex gets in your hair tell her to foxtrot oscar. You cannot control the housing market and if, as you say, she is not prepared to accept anything under the mortgage value then she has to either put up or shut up.

Your creditors may play up. If you're with the CCCS this works in your favour. Even if you kept up your current repayments they could still threaten court action.

Lets say the worst happens and they do take you to court, if you explained your financial situation it is likely that a CCJ would only force you to pay what you can afford anyway.

A charging order on a house in negative equity?! Hmmmm!

Bailliffs? Only if you do not keep to the terms of the CCJ and as you will likely only be paying what you can afford anyway thats not going to happen is it?


2. Let the wife buy us a house with her deposit before we have the baby and simply leave this house. I know the mortgage company would chase my ex wife for the money but I’m really not bothered about that. Eventually I think I would have to declare bankruptcy, but not until I’ve supported the wife during her maternity leave.

The mortgage company would chase you both and you need to think carefully about bankruptcy.

You are not going to 'stay off the radar' either for very long.

Also a caution to this approach:

Your creditors will find you quickly enough and even if they didn't could apply for a CCJ and have papers issued to your OLD address.

They would then get a CCJ by default as you wouldn't be there to defend it and the judgement could be to pay the whole lot.....


3. Let my wife buy the house we currently live in from me and the ex, this would end up with her ”buying” our negative equity and us having a house that is completely in the wrong town for both of us to be near our families when we need them most. The only one to really gain from this is my ex wife.

Your old house has old memories, I think you need to new start if possible.

These are the only options I can think of so far, and none of them are ideal.

Any suggestions…………

I think there are some positive options you've not considered.

1) What if your house does sell for mortgage value?! Have you tried to really push your estate agent? Have you done little things to make your house more saleable (declutter, paint in neutral colours etc). Have you thought about running an open day, really pushing it?

2) If you were to sell your house at market value could you rent a small 2 bed house for the duration of your wifes maternity leave?

If you can rent for several hundred £ less than your current mortgage then this may make less of a reduction of your DMP payments

3) Although your wife is on maternity leave after 6-7 months I can almost guarantee she will ready to do something workwise so there are money generating opportunities she could look at working from home also boosting your combined income.

If you can sell the house (even at a small loss if your wife can help cover this) then as already advised you are a less 'attractive' prospect to your creditors to take to court.

I think though you should look at pushing as much energy as you can getting that full asking price for your house first before you do anything else.

Very best of luck and many congratulations on your new baby!

SnV

MrsTinks

Can I point out that the "secure family home" is actually pretty much what has got you INTO this mess of negative equity on top of solicitors fees? Renting is not the end of the world - it would also enable you to build up a larger deposit giving you more security and you would have greater freedom in picking where to live as the child grows and your needs change and depending on jobs and care and schools...

Ames

Would bankruptcy be such a bad idea? If your wife can buy a house on her salary then it would be the fresh start you need. But I think everyone needs to see that SOA to get a clear picture.

deepintrouble

Thank you all so much for your valued input, After another sleepless night I think I'm beginning to see the light. The "secure family home" bit is so much more than buying a house. After all the medical stuff we've been through, we would live in a shoe box in the gutter if it meant we had a baby.

I think that I should concentrate on the wife and bump, before I worry about housing etc.

For now I think We'll stay put and I'll fight the creditors one at a time. CCCS have been good and I'll go to court one by one if they start to play up. Even if they did get a CO then forced the sale, it wouldnt make any difference. The house is already in neg equity and not selling anyway.

Saltnvinegar - We've tried so many different ways to sell the house, Its essentially a very nice house. Quite new, well kept, recently decorated etc etc etc. Its just £10k overpriced because of the mortgage. There are 6 others on the same street, all for sale in an identical position. This is why I think we have to accept the fact that we are going to have to stay here for a while.

If it does ever sell ,then we will definately look at renting, we considered this for a while before the bump came along and actually agreed this is what we would do so that we could try and pay off some more of my debt and save towards a larger deposit.

Its just the thought of going down to one income that makes me worry. Don't get me wrong, we both earn a good wage, but a huge chunk of mine goes to CCCS.

Thanks again for all your opinions, its what makes this place so great.