Can I live with my Mum???????

eclectica

Hi! My 90 year old mum has livedin a local authortiy house for all her life. She claims housing benefit,and attendance allowance . Soon she will not be well enough to cope alone (I go every day, and do all shopping etc) She desperately wants to stay in her own place. If I were tomove in with her to care for her I would have to give up my own place. Does anyone know if I would be able to take overthe tenancy? Thanks

Horasio

Very dodgy moving back with parents/a parent, especially old ones.

You sound really nice wanting to move in and help her out but you will become her carer and it will take over your life.

Are you doing it to save money or help your mother out?

You would have to ask the LA about it but I would keep my place as your own space but still look after your mother.

Alias_Omega

If you were working, as soon as you moved into the house, the LHA payment would stop and you would be faced with all the costs associated with running the house.

I faced this when i moved in with my partner at the time, overnight i had taken on over £800 a month payments to be met.

eclectica

Thanks for your advice.
Probably best not to move-as a supply teacher my income is dodgy, and I'd hate to make the situation worse for her. She can cope with help at present - so I'll cross the next bridge when I come to it!

But I would be grateful if anyone knows if I would be allowed to take ove rthe tenancy, should I decide to move in, as I wouldn't want to be forced to move when she died.

Just had to convince her today that she can't move in with me though(lots of steps, upstairs loo, dodgy heating......!)

tbs624

eclectica wrote: »

But I would be grateful if anyone knows if I would be allowed to take ove rthe tenancy, should I decide to move in, as I wouldn't want to be forced to move when she died.

Is this about helping Mum or about landing yourself a tenancy in a council property?.

Has the tenancy always been in your Mother's name or has it passed to her from your father?

poppysarah

Where do you live now? Could she move in with you?
Why not discuss the chance of you both moving to one property with the council?

I'd ring shelter if you can to ask them for their advice too.

sammyjammy

Have you considered speaking to the council about sheltered housing or something similar? I'm sure they would be gratefu lto have a family house back for a new family in need and your mum woudl get to live independently but with help in a smaller place.

McKneff

Normally a tenancy will only be tranmsferred once.

If your father passed the tenancy on to your mother, then No, you wouldnt be able to take the tenancy over.

Badger_Lady

Please don't underestimate how much caring for an infirm parent can actually be. Many people think they can look after their mum or dad only to go through hell when it finally gets to it.

If someone can't manage on their own any more, it's generally because they need help mobilising and/or keeping themselves clean... and that can quickly become a full-time job.

I'd implore you to explore all the options for nursing / residential care, including those in her own home, before you resort to trying it yourself. In all my time, I've never seen someone happy at the end of that. In the worst cases, the carer ends up resenting their own parent and no-one wants that to happen to such a precious relationship.

eclectica

tbs624 wrote: »

Is this about helping Mum or about landing yourself a tenancy in a council property?.

Has the tenancy always been in your Mother's name or has it passed to her from your father?

It's about helping my Mum.
I live in a house which I own and love, but is very unsuitable for an elderly person.
I could not afford the upkeep on 2 properties, so would have to sell mine.
There is little equity in it, so I would not be able to buy again when she died ( her siblings lived to nearly 100!) so at this point if I couldn't take over the tenancy I'd be stuck!

Looks like it's not an option anyway, as it was passed from my father.

Thanks everyone for your advice. I know how difficult it would be, but was considering it, as she does love the house she's lived in for 40 years. I think I may look in to the costs of adding downstairs toilet etc here, incase it becomes a necessity in the future!

ILW

You could rent out your own place to cover the outgoings and move in with mother to help her.