Life after bankruptcy?

savingwannabe

I dont want to argue about semantics. I have just found an obscure Brecht passage that i quoted in an essay in 1992. I have been looking for it for 20 years and found it just now. Maybe this was meant to happen. Do you understand what it is saying?

"…they were sawing the branches on ..which they were sitting, and they shouted to each other, how one could saw faster, and when with a crash they fell down those watching them shook their heads. and kept on sawing."

http://www.actahort.org/books/525/525_1.htm

Dont worry, goodnight.

Aesop

I've heard that before SW.

Wow, I have forgotten so many things!

savingwannabe

No you haven't they are just resting till you need them. Bless you sweetie thank you love, kit.

Aesop

go to sleep now Kit, you have an early start. x

ani_26

I give up. There IS sonething inherently wrong with me. What is wrong with me that people don't understand or accept the way i speak, or what i'm saying, or the manner in which i say it. Maybe its because i went to the old grammar school. I mean the very old traditional type of grammar school. The sort where you were taught how to behave, taught how to spell, and alll the rest of it, and woe betide. You were taught how to have manners, how to behave in a certain way. It never leaves you, for your whole life. In fact, going to a school reunion, made me thankful there are some weirdos, or strange people, like me, still around.

Sw i'm really sorry the whole point which i'm trying to say regarding answering these types of questions, is completely lost. I just would'nt analyse anyone by saying i don't like your choce of favourite song or film, therefore i don't like you. I trust people on instinct. I instinctively know if there is a connection with that person. I look into someones eyes. You can't hide anything in your eyes. I think i said somewhere previously in my diary, it makes me uneasy talking to someone wearing ' shades ' , They are a faceless person to me, as you can't see their soul. Whereas , i guess they think it extemely cool. But it takes all sorts. I will see if i can find the list on which you assess whether i fit your potential criteria for likeability, although i'm always hopeless on choosing just one thing.


I'm sorry you felt you could'nt visit Auschwitz. I had a colleague, who was visiting Kracow, a few years ago. Of course the big debate is are you going to visit Auschwitz if you are visiting Kracow? He could'nt quite decide and commit himself to visit. I advised him to visit. In the end, he did. You can't explain the feeling you have whilst visiting there, but i'm glad i went. The experience and the feelings i gained from it, stayed with me for a long time afterwards. In fact it still makes me cry, writing this now, and it always will. But maybe thats the difference between me and other people.


I have to remind myself that a work colleague, only last week, said that i'm the nicest person you could ever meet, and i would never do anything to harm anyone. Indeed i've spent my life helping others.But i don't conform, and maybe i DO look at life differently to others, and its genuinely been an educated decision on whether to end my own life.



As i read my post back i've had to delete some of what i've written, as i think, you can't write that. How will it be received?There no longer seems any point in anything. I'm losing the essence of my inner being, when i'm having to check every post or entry i make, as people take what i've said, in the wrong context, or even quote words that i have'nt used, an example of which, was on the br board the other day. Someone said you can't say you can't do this because you are bankrupt, which of course i did'nt say at all, in the first place. I said i was amused you are allowed to have a holiday, not that you can't have a holiday. Entirely different, but still an example of misinterpretation?

Aesop

Nohope, I will say this again, and probably again and again.

This is YOUR Diary. No one else's. You write what you want to write, how you want to write, when you want to write. We do like you to check in everyone now and again, if you have been quiet, so we know you are ok.

SW is a very Sweet lady, who means nobody any harm. This is a little game she plays with everyone she meets to get to know them. Maybe the game is not appropriate for you. That's fine. We don't need to play it.

There is no malice in her words, this is just who she is, the way you are you.

I think you have led an amazing life and I for one would like to hear more about it. If you want to write about the concentration camps and how it made you feel visiting them, then do so.

I was very young when I went to Germany, but I still remember what I saw and how it made me feel.

Maybe I have a bit more life experience in that I have met through my life people from all walks of life and backgrounds, privileged, not privileged, middle class, etc. That could be wrong what I just said, but I am not going to sit here being politically correct.

I understand the way you speak, and have met people who have attended Grammar school, the original idea of a Grammar school. I still know people to do this day. One of DH's friend's is what we call Regimental, as he has to do everything at a certain time, certain seat on the tube, etc.

One of the Directors where I works, used to be in the RAF, and it shows in his thinking and his "quirky" ways. The people at work are used to it and although they make fun in a nice way, they understand he is who he is, and why he talks and behaves the way he is.

At work on Wednesday, we had listening skills training. I have done all this before, but in this job, they don't know what I am capable of, what I have done, not done, etc. They don't have a clue. They think I was a SAHM who did Avon. They get surprised when I talk about Marketing, what actually know about it, and it is not all standing in the streets doing surveys, etc. That I was a Manager twice of my own teams, that I worked in IT, that I used to sit in Board meetings weekly with the Board of Directors. They don't know because they don't ask and are too self centred to focus on anyone but themselves and their needs and wants.

When I say anything out of their "idea" of me, they get a shock. When I tell them what I studied, they get a shock.

Anyway, I digress yet again. The point about the listening skills training. We each found about each other, something we did not know. Well in fact, I actually knew about 3 of my team, as I had taken the time to talk to them and listen and ask. But the rest of the team didn't know and were shocked. What I found fascinating was our Manager used to be a bell ringer when she was a child. She loved it but explained why she stopped, it was quite a funny story.

As she was talking, I remembered what I knew about bell ringing, all from reading books. I used to devour books.

Now what did my Deputy Manager tell us about himself? Something personal? No, he told us how he got the job. That did not give any insight into him as a person, and just made me think "loser", he was lucky to be in the right place at the right time, he did not get the job on merit.

What I am trying to say I think, is we all need listening skills, for us this is going through reading, and correctly interpreting what we are reading, as we cannot hear the spoken voice or see the eyes of the person speaking or who is listening. Part of listening skills is seeing the facial expressions.

It is going to be hard, we are going to upset each other by "misreading/not listening properly". DH had a nasty incident on the way home from work last night, and he thinks the only reason he walked away unhurt, is because they did not understand his Geordie Accent.

So Nohope you keep writing the way you write, don't edit or think how will this be interpreted, I better write in this way or not at all. Just write your diary. Allow us to keep viewing or being nosey (as the way I think of it), and please forgive us if we don't understand something or say the wrong thing. We don't mean it. We are trying to be your friends and to help and support you.

Daffodils?

ani_26

Oh, and thankyou for the beautiful daffs. They are gorgeous xx

Aesop

Nohope wrote: »

Aesop, are you the petrol head who has been following me around? ( said in a joking manner ) If so, i will find the website where i found a photo of my car, and let you decide which is my car. You will never get it right, in a month of sundays, as my car shows my true personality, which is obviously well and truly lost or hidden.

I wish I was! I have given up so many hobbies and enjoyment over the years due to BFs! :mad:
not anymore, I do what I want within reason.

Yes please, PM me the website! I love looking at cars, especially classics.

elantan

nohope .... i also went to auschwticz (sp) i found it quite a strange experience

savingwannabe

When my friend went she said there were no birds close by. I am getting a shiver down my spine thinking about it. Admire you all for going, i couldn't handle it. Am a coward, me. Watched Escape from Sobibor years ago and had nightmares for weeks. We are so fortunate.