Where to invest my heating allowance?

Loughton_Monkey

Having made my pile in the Far East, retiring to live from my own means, I have now reached the age of 60. This means I will enjoy a Heating Allowance (payable in November? I don't know).

Now here's my dilemma. Whilst on my holiday in Europe this year, I bought quite a few bottles of Champagne. Far cheaper there you know. I keep most of it in the garage. Over winter, it's very cool.

However, I wish to spend the heating allowance on cooling (is this allowed by law?) because when next summer comes, I will wish to put whatever I have left (after Mrs Loughton Monkey has been at it) in the fridge out there.

It seems to me I have choices. Either I simply invest the £250 somewhere and draw it out next summer, or should I write personally to the Chancellor asking him if he would mind making me a special case and paying me the money every summer instead of winter. After all, this might help keep the budget deficit minimised during a difficult honeymoon period.

Comments, please, on whether you think I would be right to do both. Being Government owned, I wish to be loyal and invest it in an RBS Instant Saver Account (can their superb 0.1% rate be beaten anywhere?). Also, while writing to the Chancellor, I want to include a paragraph on what an excellent use of public money the heating allowance is. But how do I do this without appearing sycophantic?

Vaila

.................................wow

bengal-stripe

Come this winter............there might not be a heating allowance anymore.

olivetti

http://www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/4737496/c_1/1%7Ccategory_root%7CKitchen+and+laundry%7C14418476/c_2/3%7Ccat_15701302%7CFridges+and+freezers%7C14418615.htm?_$ja=tsid:11527|cc:|prd:4737496|cat:kitchen+%26+laundry+%3E+fridges+and+freezers+%3E+beer+and+wine+coolers

Save the fridge for beer.

LongTermLurker

There's a lot to be said for contrarian investing. Forget the argos wine cooler, it only holds 6 bottles, probably won't even fit in the fatter champers bottles, and you'll need years of allowances before you can get a decent sized cellar.

Now think about it - who wants to buy aircon units in winter? We could be about to enter the perfect season for buying cooling systems and next summer you could have your whole garage at a chilly 5 degrees. Not only would this create a great environment for your bottle collection, but you'd also have room to hang a few sides of beef, which can be great value when bought in bulk.

Perhaps you could club together with your neighbours and buy a herd? That way, a single heating allowance could benefit the community:

1. Supporting local farmers, leading to increased employment and local prosperity
2. Improve the quality of food intake within the community - reduction in fat intake, noxious chemicals and CJD, leading to lower impact on hospitals and the NHS. This in turn leads to reduced government expenditure on local health services
3. Increase in health and intelligence of local population leads to increase in ratings for local Hospital Trusts and schools, which in turn increase the popularity of the area, raising house prices and stimulating growth.
4. Reduction in travel to out of town supermarkets, leading to reduced emissions - perhaps you could claim a carbon offset grant or something?
5. Increased electricity consumption, propping up the flagging utilities companies, who are currently struggling on their low charging structures - this will give a further boost to the economy

Perhaps you could qualify for some sort of Investment in Innovation award? I'm sure you'd have a lot to discuss with Dave & Nick.

Loughton_Monkey

LongTermLurker wrote: »

Now think about it - who wants to buy aircon units in winter? We could be about to enter the perfect season for buying cooling systems and next summer you could have your whole garage at a chilly 5 degrees. Not only would this create a great environment for your bottle collection, but you'd also have room to hang a few sides of beef, which can be great value when bought in bulk.

Perhaps you could qualify for some sort of Investment in Innovation award? I'm sure you'd have a lot to discuss with Dave & Nick.

What are you suggesting? My garage fridge is an ageing, white, clapped-out model crammed with alcohol and you want me to hang sides of beef on it?

I'm afraid Lady Ga-Ga beat me to it.

Yes, I'll have a lot to discuss with Nick and Dave. Not least is a swimming pool tax credit (have you seen the price of chemicals these days?). Also, I think my ideas to to trade in my Bus Pass (I don't use it) for an alternative card that allows me to fill my Jag with petrol at totally tax-free prices would be worth considering.

LongTermLurker

Loughton_Monkey wrote: »

What are you suggesting? My garage fridge is an ageing, white, clapped-out model crammed with alcohol and you want me to hang sides of beef on it?

I'm afraid Lady Ga-Ga beat me to it.

Yes, I'll have a lot to discuss with Nick and Dave. Not least is a swimming pool tax credit (have you seen the price of chemicals these days?). Also, I think my ideas to to trade in my Bus Pass (I don't use it) for an alternative card that allows me to fill my Jag with petrol at totally tax-free prices would be worth considering.

No no, you misunderstand. What I'm suggesting is to invest in air conditioning units to turn the entire garage into a fridge - you could probably claim the aircon unit is a condensing boiler in reverse and trade that and the aging fridge in under the relevent scrappage scheme.

Then you can stock up on more beer & champagne (more room) and take on farmfoods or iceland or whoever on the meat front.

I think trading in your bus pass would also be a good idea. It would help reduce the number of dangerous bus drivers on the roads and allow cars to get up a reasonable speed in town, which would allow workers to spend more time at work rather than sat at the side of empty bus lanes, thus increasing productivity and driving (no pun intended) the country forward.

Personally, I think there should be an incentive to get everyone riding motorbikes - you can fit more bikes per square yard of tarmac; bikers don't ride into bikes, but car drivers drive into bikes, so there would be a reduction in accidents/hospital costs/insurance claims/police requirements/etc; bikes use less fuel and are faster than the average car, thus more efficient; etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

AnonymousForObviousReason

I'd use the Champagne to sterilise the swimming pool - nasty bloody stuff.
You can use your heating allowance for anything you like, if Nick and Dave can't help, why don't you check with the government that set up the rules, you'll probably bump into the Blairs' on your next Champagne shopping trip (if they actually go themselves).

Loughton_Monkey

AnonymousForObviousReason wrote: »

I'd use the Champagne to sterilise the swimming pool - nasty bloody stuff.
You can use your heating allowance for anything you like, if Nick and Dave can't help, why don't you check with the government that set up the rules, you'll probably bump into the Blairs' on your next Champagne shopping trip (if they actually go themselves).

It's difficult to imagine 'Tony' (not to mention Cherie) choosing to avoid British Tax by buying alcohol abroad where the tax burden is much lower? Besides, I thought Cherie got all this stuff free when Tony was on official visits to M&S and the like.

Anyway, if you don't like Champagne, come round next summer, and you can have a Gin & Tonic. [Gordons still only £7 a bottle in Italy on special offer].

Loughton_Monkey

LongTermLurker wrote: »

I think trading in your bus pass would also be a good idea. It would help reduce the number of dangerous bus drivers on the roads and allow cars to get up a reasonable speed in town, which would allow workers to spend more time at work rather than sat at the side of empty bus lanes, thus increasing productivity and driving (no pun intended) the country forward.

Your logic is impeccable, and it's nice to discover others who are innovative and creative. I personally think the bus pass should go. Instead, to get more revenue, all these old pensioners should actually be charged double fare. Look at the time it takes for them to get onto the bus. No wonder the drivers accelerate away like a bat out of hell - to try and make up time.

Biggles

So, you've 'made your pile' and retired to 'live from your own means' and you're asking what you should do with a pitiful £250 a year?

Bizarre.