Money Moral Dilemma: Should I charge my mother rent?

Jackie_from_Derby_UK

My 81-year old mother is moving into an annexe at my house, as she is starting to feel infirm. We converted our garage; she paid all the costs of this. She says she wants to pay me rent. She will also pay for the electricity she uses, she has a meter. There is no gas to her annexe. the property doesn't have a water meter. I will benefit a small amount financially, as I can also use her (free) TV licence. Council tax will be no different.

There is no dilemma about the money for electricity. So should I charge her rent? and how much?

*Louise*

Personally - I wouldn't.

I would say thank you for offering but paying for the cost of the garage conversion will have raised the value of the property and would more than cover any rent she wanted to pay.

[Deleted User]

If you need the money, ask for the rent.. If you don't then charging your elderly mother rent would be immoral in my eyes.. especially after she paid for the garage conversion.

tanith

I'd also say not unless you really need the money.. but maybe you could ask her to do simple tasks for you now and then such as preparing veg or loading/unloading dishwasher so she feels as though she is contributing... obviously if she is infirm you wouldn't ask..

Jacks_xxx

I think this is a mutually beneficial arrangement in many ways but it is definitely the best of all possible options in your mum's eyes.

Therefore, if her dignity demands that she pays her own way then I think you should allow her to, with the proviso that if her circumstances change and paying becomes a problem you'll rethink the arrangement.

wildthing01

if you don't actually need the money (i.e. if her living there is not causing you extra outlay of any kind), yet she insists on paying, then why not let her pay a small amount, but put it in a separate account (unknown to her), so that if she ever needs access to emergency cash in the future (e.g. nursing home fees, private nursing, etc), you can magically produce it for her...

LillythePink

I agree with Jacks and wildthing - she may want to contribute because of pride so taking it and putting it aside would be an answer.

We bought a house with a wing on which my parents now live - they gave us money to put towards the house when they sold theirs - they don't pay rent (as they put money in although the house is only in our names - they are not on the deeds anywhere) they do pay us a proportion of some of the costs ie water, broadband, tv license and rates - they do pay for electric - we have a meter which gives us readings and we base it on that.

They said that they don't want to sponge off us - which is fine - it works for them as they are now paying far less than what they were originally paying for their utilities per month.

[Deleted User]

Personally I wouldn't - I'm guessing that she never charged you rent for the first 16 years of your life at least.

Also given she paid for the conversion and not you, I'd suggest she doesn't pay rent, (unless you really need the extra cash), but enough to cover any extra cost in utilities etc.

However, if she insists do as stated above - and keep it for her in a bank account in case she needs it in the future.

Gavin83

If it's ok to charge your children rent while living at home, I don't really see the issue with charging your parent rent either. It's the same thing so I'm quite surprised at some of the responses here.

However I would take the fact she paid for it herself as rent payment.

Gareth_Lazelle

Gavin83 wrote: »

However I would take the fact she paid for it herself as rent payment.

Especially as at some point you will presumably "inherit" the improvements to your home - possibly tax-free as well,

bulletproof_1979

I wouldn't - what cost are you incurring by having her live there afterall? You're actually benefitting from the added value of the conversion in the long run. I'd say let her pay any bills etc but nothing else.

If she was insistant I'd charge her a nominal amount she could easily afford and secretly put it aside for her future needs.