How do you keep it together when in debt?

hitabrickwall_2

I am two months into token payments at the moment with a view to starting a dmp. I have a joibt account with my husband who is trying to raise money to pay off the overdraft so it does not have to be included in the dmp. This is taking longer than we thought.
I have been away from home for ten days and came home to a mountain of mail from my creditors. I am getting about 10 + phonecalls a day starting at 8am finishing at 9pm which I am not answering. That is just on my mobile the house phone is worse. The phonecalls I have answered have been threatening. I have written to all creditors explaining my position twice and this is being ignored or not being filtered through. I am very short of money at the moment due to still having to pay Natwest until this OD gets sorted out. Massive charges are being made on my accounts and my MBNA card has gone up £800 alone in the last 6 weeks.


I am so stressed. I am a constant bag of nerves and I am making myself ill. I am worried about money from the minute I wake until I go to sleep and then waking in the night with my son and worrying then until the point of tears.

I am going to have to make token payments again next month and am so worried that the creditors are going to start taking action against me.

How do you keep yourself calm? I have suffered from severe depression in the past and really don't want to go down that route again. I just want to be a proper mohter and not want to climb under a rock and stay there.

podperson

Firstly *big hugs* please try not to get yourself so stressed over it, I know it is a horrible situation (and trust me have been there!) but at the end of the day it is only money and is not worth making yourself ill over.
Secondly have you made yourself a budget or an soa (link at the top of the forum) to show exactly what you have coming in and out and what you have left (if anything!) for the debts. If not get this done now so you can see what you can comfortably afford to pay them. Am assuming you are wanting to do a dmp with a debt charity since you are holding off on it? Might be worth thinking about doing it yourself if it is going to take a bit to clear off the overdraft as then you have the option of how much to pay to who and what to leave out. There are template letters you can use to write out to your creditors.
Yes the dcas are all going to be stressing and stamping their feet at the moment but they can't get what you don't have and once they start getting regular payment through they do tend to calm down a bit. In the meantime don't speak to them on the phone and ask for everything in writing to you.
Could also be worth thinking about reclaiming charges on the credit cards if you know these are quite high, could help knock a chunk of the balances. Am currently reclaiming all mine and has cleared two accounts completely
Good luck with it x

mystery_united

12 months ago we were in exactly the same place as you. Thanks to the CCCS, things are a lot easier and we can see light at the end of the tunnel.

Have you spoken to the CCCS? there are other companies available - All I will say is DON'T pay anyone to run your DMP for you. We have been more than happy with the CCCS. They can advise on what is the best route for your circumstances - A DMP is not always the answer.

Keep your chins up and don't let the calls & letters get to you. You CAN and will get to the end.

p.s. Agree with podperson

hitabrickwall_2

Thanks both. I am in contact with the CCCS and have sorted a DMP with them and am just waiting for the joint account to be sorted as I have other debts with Natwest so cannot stop paying these and risk then offsetting. I have put a soa on here before and also have been through it with the CCCS and have an agreed figure. Also I have just been promoted and will be working an extra day a week from the New Year so my payments to CCCS will be going up by about £400 a month which will make a big difference.

I am not answering the phone as do not know what to say. I have a CCCS Reference number but can't really explain why I have not done it yet can I?

I think with the amount I owe I would not be able to pay enough (whilst still paying Natwest) to satisy the creditors (especially MBNA who have been terrible).

Would it be worth me writing to MBNA and complaining about the phonecalls. The last one I took was terrible and left me in tears. He was trying to put me into a spin I think. Asking how much I earned, what my house was worth and how would I feel if I lost it, if I had children, if my husband knew about debt, who did I work for and how would they feel if they knew etc etc

Would it put me in a bad position if I reclaimed charges? What charges can be reclaimed?

winner12

Hi there
Yes do write to them and ask them to stop calling you everything in writing is easier to track down when you need it telephone conversations can be denied do try to claim charges back its your right to do so also any PPI insurance if they flogged you this too and stick with it its hard but you will make break throughs

hitabrickwall_2

Thank you all

barbiedoll

Hi there.

I know that the amount of telephone calls can be very distressing, especially when you first start sending token amounts. Fire off a copy of this letter......

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showpost.html?p=33792321&postcount=39

to every creditor, they must stop calling you if you tell them to. Be prepared for a deluge of letters instead though but don't be scared, that's what they rely on! :mad: (Don't call them either, they will try to bully and harrass you and they will lie too!)

We can help you to deal with your letters and demands later but you need to decide what you are going to do in the meantime. Have you sent your creditors a copy of your current Statement Of Affairs? If not, then do so, if they are aware of your financial difficulty, they must try to help you, although it may not seem like it at the moment. It is a good idea to contact one of the debt charities to help you through this, they can help you to set a realistic budget and we can give you a hand with cutting costs, bills and so on. Don't despair, help IS available, it's only money after all and most of us on here know exactly what you're going through.

PS, just read your post about CCCS. As others said, you will get a lot of hassle at the start but they can't have what you haven't got. If MBNA have raised your interest rate, you can challenge it and you can reclaim the charges back later. Just do one thing at a time, and don't let idiot DCA's upset you, if they call, tell them that you are recording the call, that usually shuts them up! Don't get drawn into an argument about your house/kids etc, they know that they can't legally make you pay more than you can afford, and they definitely can't make you sell your house to pay off a credit card!

eyeopener2

Is your husband not included in the DMP and thats why your trying to pay the overdraft off? Does this mean you intend to make the account in his name only when the od is clear?

Just wondering, as you need to open your own account pretty soon.

E2

Batty_old_bird

Hello,

This is the 1st time I have posted anything although I've read a lot over the last few years, but think it would be a good idea to contact the CCCS. I too spent nights awake, was a bag of nerves. Contacting the CCCS was the first step in taking hold of the situation. They were very helpful. They would have written to my creditors on my behalf if I had wanted, but I decided to do this myself. They gave me their reference to quote to all creditors and a spreadsheet of all my incomings and outgoings with suggestions for monthly payments to creditors.

Four and a half years later I am still not out of debt, but have come a long way and life is so much better. The calls eventually stopped, I just kept quoting the CCCS. Interest was finally halted from all my creditors. All I get now is an occasional call to ask if I can increase my payments. I won't bore you with the long list of creditors I had, or how I got myself in to such a pickle, but:
April 2006 I owed £49,600.92
Today I owe £22,222.00
I still have my home, I still have a life, and I don't worry about it any more - well not like I used to.
So, call the CCCS, make a plan, stick to it - don't let any creditors down. I promise, it will gradually get a lot easier.
Good luck:)

NorthernLas

Once you have sent the letter, it will take a little while for the calls to stop.

You do not need to get into a conversation with anyone who calls. In fact, they want you to do this because it is their job to recover money from you.

Could you practice your speech in front of a mirror, until it trips off your tongue, 'I am not in a position to discuss my finances, I am taking advice from CCCS and my reference is xxx, Goodbye'. Even try it in a bugs bunny voice if it makes you chuckle What I'm trying to say is don't let them grind you down, you are worth more than that!

saltnvinegar

Hi

First of all take a deep breath because I am going to tell you something none of your creditors will tell you......

You are doing a good and brave thing and you should be praised for tackling your debts.

I know its really difficult but try not to let this worry you.

In fact your creditors are relying on you to get worried. As you said yourself the one person you spoke to tried to put you in a spin. This is completely intentional and is the reason why you should never call these people on the phone.

I can guarantee that they would not put in writing what they said to you on the phone because you could sue them for harrassment.

I've been there (and still am) so can only encourage you to hang on in there as things will settle down. Have a look at my LBM post (see link in my signature) rather than me writing a great long post which will only repeat my experiences and what you can do to help you get through this.

First some short term things though:

1) Do not ever speak to any of your creditors on the phone again. Now they know you are looking to embark on a DMP they will try to get as much money as possible in a very short space of time (hence the pressure you are getting).

Its very difficult for them to do this if you don't answer the phone. Just refuse to answer security questions, job done.

2) Don't worry about the letters, but do file them and keep them should you need them for evidence at a later date (e.g if you decide to sue them for harrassment!)

3) Re: MBNA This lot can be nasty so lets see what we can do to put them on the back foot. What is the debt for (e.g. credit card/loan etc) and, more importantly, when did you take it out?

4) Write to all your creditors informing them you are setting up a DMP and will be in touch shortly (if you haven't already done so)

5) Don't let your creditors stress you out and get you to agree to pay them anything in preference to your essential outgoings such as mortgage, council tax etc.

If you've gone with the CCCS they are a brilliant friendly bunch who will really help you. Keep things in perspective:

You've made a positive move towards sorting your debts out and becoming debt free and getting out of that debt spiral.

The only people whose interest it is in to keep you in that spiral is your creditors as thats how they make their money. Now things are on your terms and they don't like that... hence the pressure.

Good luck and remember to post back the info about MBNA.

SnV