Money Moral Dilemma: Should neighbour pay as her son smashed the window

glads69

As it does not sound like the neighbour will voluntarily pay anything, perhaps the following may redress the imbalance somewhat.

Is there something the neighbour can do for you which might otherwise cost you time and/or money? It may be the neighbour is willing to do that.

How young is the son who broke the window? Can s/he do any chores for you and also be a lesson in the consequences of his part in this "accident"?

The neighbour's behaviour is very symptomatic of the selfish behaviour generated since the Thatcher years. Anything we can each do to reduce that may help get rid of it in time!!

It is also important that you do try to do something about this with the neighbour. If you do not, it will fester and come out in a more unpleasant way, causing further problems. Good luck.

JoannaS_3

I find it incredible that the neighbour thinks that because it is n accident she has no responsibility for paying for the damage!!! As a decent human being you would instantly offer to have the damage repaired! If she is short on money, what is she doing letting her child throw a ball around in the street?!

Anyway, the next step I would take if I were you is go to your local police station and ask for advice.....explain the situation and ask if there is any way you can get your neighbour to pay for the damage they have caused. It might be a case that you write her a letter and say that if she doesn't find a way to pay you back e.g with installments, you will have to take her to the small claims court! It might only be £50 but who says you can afford that either?! If she isn't made to feel uncomfortable, she and her child will never learn that their actions have consequences and they can't always walk away from them! She is definately not setting her child a good example!!

Her financial situation is not your responsibility, so bottom line...ask the police what you can do!!

JoannaS_3

toffeecoated wrote: »

The neighbour should pay but if she can't afford it there is no point pursuing it. People say make her pay a weekly amount but what they don't understand is poor people pay for everything weekly or monthly. I have been in that situation and i can tell you by the time direct debits and standing orders had been taken i had nothing left. I was forced to live on my credit card. When that cycle starts it is very difficult to get out of debt. Sometimes can't afford it means exactly that. Next time insure things properly (no excess) and don't just look for the cheapest option.

Totally disagree!!!!! Just because she's "poor" it's ok that her son causes damage and someone else has to pay for it?! Great excuse "oh I'm poor so that'll get me out of anything!" Don't put the blame on the person who was the victim of this situation, nearly all insurance policy's have a windscreen excess, it's NOT optional! If you're in debt it's you're problem for not managing your finances properly, it shouldn't then be someone elses problem to pay for your 'accidents'!!!!

JoannaS_3

Sophiebear wrote: »

Accident or not, the damage has to be paid for. I would contact the neighbour, initially in person, and suggest that if she cannot afford to pay all at once then she could pay in reasonable instalments. If she refuses, the damage should be reported to the Police. If she accepts, draw up an agreement which states payment amount and due dates etc., Both sign the agreement in the presence of an independent witness.

I assume the child responsible has pocket money? Could a deduction be made as a means of teaching the child to be more careful. How old is the child - could odd jobs be done to repay some of the debt?

Agreed!!!!! It is not a situation I would allow to blow over!!

gjohnson

marklv wrote: »

I'm glad this has not happened to me because I would be so angry that I would probably do something that would end me up in prison. :mad:

Kids should be banned from playing on streets where there is heavy parking. The council should have put up a 'no ball games' sign and then a breach of that could have meant a fine. Anyway, the neighbour definitely should pay, no question about it. Take her to the small claims court.

Thank goodness you don't live on my street. What a fascist! Would you really harm a child (as you seem to suggest with your comments about ending up in prison) over something as superficial as a broken car window? If so I feel extremely sorry for you, and can only surmise that you have never had to contend with REAL tragedy in your life.

Cars should be banned from parking on streets where kids are playing, then no-one would have to worry about them being damaged. Do we really live in a society which values a car window over the freedom and enjoyment of kids to play in their street? Goodness knows that there is precious little else for them to do, but then you're probably the sort of person who endorses putting kids up chimneys to make them earn their keep.

In terms of what the 'injured party' should do, they should shrug their shoulders and put it down to experience, plain and simple.

JoannaS_3

binbagbob wrote: »

Morally, of course the neighbour should pay, but legally she almost certainly will have no liability.

On this case, the OP would need to show that the child's parent was somehow personally reckless or negligent for allowing him to play in the street AND that the accident was entirely foreseeable.

Like it or not, there is no legal principle that automatically holds parents / guardians responsible for the consequences of the actions of their children. Some might say this is "wrong" or "unfair", but I do not. Imagine a different scenario - mum and dad walking their 7 year old along a pavement on the way to a park. Child's hands are being held by both parents. Suddenly, unexpectedly, and completely out of character, child yanks himself free from his parents' hands and runs across the road, having spotted a schoolfreind on the other side. In so doing, child runs directly in front of a car, causing it to swerve which in turn leads to a multiple pile-up with multiple deaths / serious injuries. Does anyone argue that the parents should be responsbile for compensating the dead / injured?

I think that's a ridiculous comparison!!!!! Totally disagree!! Of course parents should take responsibility for their children's actions as they are still learning right from wrong!!! It seems that people have trouble putting themselves in the shoes of others!!! If he gets away with it this time, next time the damage could be far more costly!!! The sitaution you have fabricated above can in no way be compared to this one!!!!!! Also if you have a car accident, the insurance company have to pay for any emergency services needed at the scene and the clean up of the road afterwards, someone always has to pay for 'accidents' why ahould it be the victim?????

dan_m2k

I'm sorry but this "child" broke a car window with a foot ball. Now, that's no small feat as car windows are designed to withstand a lot of impact. So, it's certainly wreck less at best and vandalism at worst. Without being there we can't be sure but it's worth bearing in mind.

I personally wouldn't have told the insurer, but had it fixed out the neighbours pocket. I don't give a monkeys what bleeding heart story they have about being hard up (who isn't these days) they either accept your fair and reasonable attempt to resolve the matter by your asking for the money or a judge can get them to cough it up in small claims court.

FYI, I was a kid growing up in an inner city area, and do you know something? My folks insisted we didn't play near other people's cars as such was the risk of damage. Instead we went and found a field or park. Common sense people, please!

JoannaS_3

gjohnson wrote: »

Thank goodness you don't live on my street. What a fascist! Would you really harm a child (as you seem to suggest with your comments about ending up in prison) over something as superficial as a broken car window? If so I feel extremely sorry for you, and can only surmise that you have never had to contend with REAL tragedy in your life.

Cars should be banned from parking on streets where kids are playing, then no-one would have to worry about them being damaged by. Do we really live in a society which values a car window over the freedom and enjoyment of kids to play in their street? Goodness knows that there is precious little else for them to do, but then you're probably the sort of person who endorses putting kids up chimneys to make them earn their keep.

In terms of what the 'injured party' should do, they should shrug their shoulders and put it down to experience, plain and simple.

Agree with most of what you say except that cars should be banned from parking on streets??!!!! what is with that??!! So adults have to do what children want?? Agreed children should be allowed to play in the street but they should be taught by their parents to play in a way that does not affect anyone else's personal property! Ultimately roads were made for cars not children so the cars have more right to be there then the children do!! No way should the neighbour shrug it off as experience as this just breeds more selfish neighbours who do what they like and don't care about the consequences!!!

JoannaS_3

dan_m2k wrote: »

I'm sorry but this "child" broke a car window with a foot ball. Now, that's no small feat as car windows are designed to withstand a lot of impact. So, it's certainly wreck less at best and vandalism at worst. Without being there we can't be sure but it's worth bearing in mind.

I personally wouldn't have told the insurer, but had it fixed out the neighbours pocket. I don't give a monkeys what bleeding heart story they have about being hard up (who isn't these days) they either accept your fair and reasonable attempt to resolve the matter by your asking for the money or a judge can get them to cough it up in small claims court.

FYI, I was a kid growing up in an inner city area, and do you know something? My folks insisted we didn't play near other people's cars as such was the risk of damage. Instead we went and found a field or park. Common sense people, please!

FINALLY someone I wouldn't mind having as a neighbour!!! lol What has happened to make us a society of people who think it's someone else responsibility to sort our messes out?!! Like you say we are all hard up but the 'victim' of this situtation should not be the one who has to pay for someone else's carelessness! Child or not!

JoannaS_3

hushabye wrote: »

I have been on the flip side of this dilemma.
My own son accidently ran into my neighbour's wing mirror whilst outside the house, it was not smashed but was hanging down from it's position. He immediately came in and told us what had happened and my husband went nextdoor to tell them and see if he could fix it back on. He couldn't and so offered to pay for the damage, despite the fact that money was very tight at the time.
We were very friendly neighbours at the time and I had, for several years had my neighbours' children to play round frequently, taken them out with us in the holidays and watched them whilst they 'popped out'. None of which was ever reciprocated.
She came to the door to ask for £130 for a new wing mirror (for an old Vauxhall Astra), and said the whole thing had to be replaced. We felt that we had been well and truly 'done over' and that none of the past favours had meant a thing to them.
We rarely speak these days, and having been 'done over' by someone for what we considered to be the right and honest way to deal with the issue, I would hesitate to own up over a similar thing in the future.

Sadly you just got unlucky! You should never expect people to remember the favours you did them as to them it means nothing because they are selfish, instead I would have told them I was happy to pay but done some research online or with a mechanic about the cost of these wing mirrors and if they were 'doing you over' then I would have showed them my findings and told them the most I was prepared to pay!