Why Why Why ??

LandyAndy

Nottoobadyet wrote: »

Have you been to the families thread? Complete soapy over there!

Try going to the Motoring board and asking how to get cheap insurance after a drink/drive ban.

dmg24

wayne99, could I politely suggest that you edit some of the language in your signature - it is quite offensive. Thank you.

eyeopener2

A lot of people are bullies and for some reason certain boards on the site attract a lot of them. Unfortunately we have to live with these people. The best thing is to ignore them and move on.

If you want helpful advice the DFW board is the place to be.

isy1011

I think you have to be realistic if you post on an open chat forum that 95% will probably be sentisitive and 5% will probably be less sensitive. (Dont quote me on the stats I made that up as an example).

I have seen some less sensitive posts however I have also seen people go off at the deep end after someone says something very rational and sensible that the person does not want to give up or do without.

mental_about_money

I have to say that I agree with Wayne. Lurked here for ages picking up tips. Picked up the courage recently to post my soa and because I had not quite done it correctly - got ripped apart. As a result this will be my last post. Lurking is as informative without opening yourself up to sarcasm, etc at a time of vulnerabilty.

Thanks to the nice ones - and goodbye

barbiedoll

I must admit Wayne, I've been following the posts to which you refer and I found some of the comments quite scathing, especially to the young lad who wanted to buy a car and change the engine to increase the value. Whilst many of the comments were valid, eg, he wasn't going to get a large loan whoever he went to,and he should be careful of getting into such debt at his age and so on, I found that some posters were rude and unhelpful at best. Although it did make me laugh when a couple of them got into a slanging match between themselves! But I know what you mean, the loans and credit card boards do seem to attract more than their share of "know-it-alls" and judgmental types. However, most of the posters on the this board, and on the site in general, are sympathetic and helpful, I've not seen many problems on here (apart from a few troll attacks which are directed at a particular individual) so please, don't be put off asking questions or seeking advice. In forumland as in life, there is always going to be someone who has an axe to grind, remember, on here, they don't know you and they can't find you so just ignore them and don't take it personally!

DVardysShadow

mental_about_money wrote: »

I have to say that I agree with Wayne. Lurked here for ages picking up tips. Picked up the courage recently to post my soa and because I had not quite done it correctly - got ripped apart. As a result this will be my last post. Lurking is as informative without opening yourself up to sarcasm, etc at a time of vulnerabilty.

Thanks to the nice ones - and goodbye

No, you did not get ripped apart.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/36293719#Comment_36293719

You basically got several comments querying £650/moth for groceries and some obvious categories with no expenditure - and a suggestion to keep a spending diary.

You did ask for experienced eyes and you got valid comments from an experienced perspective. No real grounds for complaint there - take the comments on board and update your SoA and you will get more value.

If the SoA is wrong, you can expect people to identify the fact, but you can't expect them to be psychic and comment on what it should have been. And nobody would be doing you a favour by telling you it is a wonderful SoA when it is obviously wrong.

DVardysShadow

wayne99 wrote: »

hello all !!

Why is it that so many people on here are so judgemental of others without even trying to help them without being blunt and rude ?


This is a quote from a thread over in the loans forum, this user had a post count of 6:



This is a typical example of what people are coming up against on this forum, a first time poster comes on for some advice, yes they may not be clued up about there finances, yes they may be misinformed, but hey, why not help them instead of throwing blunt and insulting comments at them ?

Yes some people don't like to hear the truth, but surely they deserve a little compassion ?

So many people post in the loans and credit card forums, and as soon as they post, the "click" jumps on them like a pack of wild dogs, with comments of "you should manage your finances better" "you are just a risk" "your an idiot" etc etc, how about comments that help educate these people ?

How about pointing them in the direction of some help, or god forbit actually give them some advice on there situation ?

How are we going to encourage new users on here if they are to dam scared to post in the first place ?

For most people it takes allot to come on a public forum and tell you quite personal things about there finances, without the worry of "if i post that iam going to get ripped to pieces" ??

Perhaps its time to go back to basics for some on here and start to help others in a more constructive way, instead of blunt unhelpful answers.

Iam sure that in the past some of you have asked for advice on here, I have, and I wouldn't of wanted to be ganged up on, I would of liked some useful advice, there are many on here that give great advice, but there are some who quite frankly shouldn't post any more, and perhaps should spend some time evaluating there own attitudes, before they comment on others.

any way, that's me.

debate !!!

Wayne (and don't have pop about my spelling and grammar, I know its crap) lol

The link to the full thread https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2720457

Neil asks for advice on being refused a loan. The first response is:

Nobody is obliged to lend you money. Perhaps you should look for a cheaper car.

It may be unsympathetic, but I take it Neil came for advice, not sympathy. So the advice is good - it gives the bottom line - although it is not complete, because it does not suggest what Neil can do if he accepts the bottom line.

Neil replies:

you're a funny man!!!

I'm not suggesting they are obliged to lend me money, what i think should be obvious from the information i have given is that given my circumstances and the comparative similarities to someone who has been ok'd for loans in an identical circumstance, what if any options, do i have.

Of course you could reply with another crap witicism and lengthen the page by needlessly quoting the entire original post again!!

He has lost his cool and shown that he can be easily wound up. And he appears to have rejected the essential truth of the advice he was given. Having rejected this, there is not a lot more useful which anyone can tell him. So from there on, people who would help him work around the fact 'Nobody is obliged to lend you money' will leave him alone and not waste any more time on him because they can see they are wasting their time if the bottom line is rejected. These people can also see that the response will bring the vultures in. And those who can see he is easily wound up will congregate like vultures.

By failing to accept the bottom line of his situation and losing his cool, he has made very plain his choice of whom he to engage with on the forums.

JillsDaughter

I'm a fairly recent lurker-turned-poster, and have read some of the threads wayne99 refers to with interest. I think in times of trouble these boards can be really supportive, and give excellent advice. At times, answers can also be abrupt and to the point. This is probably a lot to do with frustration of the members, some of whom have tried really hard to get out of debt or on the road to debt-freedom and simply don't want to see others make mistakes. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind and while i haven't as yet experienced any negativity I know that bluntness can sometimes be interpreted as rudeness.
I will continue to use the boards as a point of reference and reminder that I'm fortunate to not warrant some of the good advice that true money savers hand out to those in desperation and would like to thank those who do so with posters best interests at heart.

danothy

wayne99 wrote: »

... So many people post in the loans and credit card forums, and as soon as they post, the "click" jumps on them like a pack of wild dogs ...

... debate !!! ...

... Wayne (and don't have pop about my spelling and grammar, I know its crap) lol

In an effort to lighten the mood, I believe it's 'clique' not 'click' consider yourself 'popped'